My 4 year old–wait…newly 5 year old Frank walked around the chair moving his little fingers back and forth. Peaking over my shoulder, he saw a little boy who was Zeke’s age–in an orphanage in China.
Momma. Is that Zeke?
No baby. It’s not. It’s a little boy in China we can pray for. He doesn’t have a family–and we can pray for him to have one.
We can be his family momma.
Oh sweet boy. We can pray for a family for him. We have a big family. There’s a family out there for him.
Five is not a lot momma. Then we could have six. And six is not a lot. It’s not too big momma. Every body needs a family.
And in that moment–(no we aren’t adopting again)–I was reminded–what we are here for. Again. It’s not about us. Or me. Or even them. But to constantly open our hearts and hands and say whatever plans you have for us Lord–we are yours.
There are so many–so many days this mom feels so overwhelmed. Whoever said it’s all the same after you have your third child–they were smoking something. Because for us, 5 has been really a new challenge. Kinda the feeling when you were a mom for the first time–and you started all over with when you go to the grocery, when to get to sleep, how you manage organization and cleaning. And as I type…in the quiet. He walks in. Our little love brought to us through adoption.
The Lord’s been good to me. So I thank the Lord. For giving me–the things I need. The sun. The moon. And the apple trees. Oh yes–the Lord’s been good to me…” he sings.
And this is life.
So little time to rest and for myself.
But so perfect.
There are many days I want to be lazy–and curl up on the couch and just rest. There are days I think about what it would be like to have a schedule that included a few days at the gym…maybe a coffee with a friend…but that’s just not my season. Yes–yes–I know. This beautiful life–all my choice. And I’d make every choice all over again.
How thankful I am. Daily they remind me of what really matters. Instead of thinking about what isn’t in my life–my children have filled it up in such a way that my heart just overflows. And my focus in that–changes. To just pointing them to Christ. To loving each other. To pointing others to Jesus. And…well–if you know me…and having fun.
Lord–give me childlike faith…like Frank. To count the blessings instead of the costs. To take risks and to simply love. To do what I know what makes sense in the eyes of Jesus rather than in the eyes of this world.
Lord–give me a song to sing…like Isaac. To be thankful for the little things. And instead of singing about hard things of the past–to sing of the beautiful gifts of the future.
Lord–give me sweet joy and laughter…like Parker and Laney. Running around playing chase in our backyard. Giggling and laughing…and making a mess that neither will probably clean up. Bring sweet friends in my life as close as a sister and brother to walk and worship and laugh with.
And Lord–oh…will you also some how…give me rest…like sweet Zeke is getting right now??? Some where in between all my mommy crazy?
It’s sweet to think about how our children can encourage us and even point us, their mommies, back to Him.
And to tell them. Tell them how I see Jesus in them. And teach them how to see Him in others too. Thank you Lord for showing yourself to me in my children today.