Tonight bed time took what seemed like forever.
It’s been 3 weeks tomorrow since we first met our new one. That first night–bed time took 2 minutes. It was like a drill–please no singing…please no rocking…just put me right down–and let me sleep.
For some parents…you might think this sounds like a dream. Yes–easy. And for my littles who have been with us for a long time–this is some times what night time can look like.
But in just 3 weeks–it now takes an hour. Someone has learned that being rocked is pretty sweet…that you can cry and someone runs to pick you up…that you can make noises and someone is there to hover and smile…what it feels like to just rest under your momma’s chin–with your head resting on her chest…when you grab your toes she touches them too…you look to smile–and she smiles back…and this–this is worth stretching out that bedtime. Connecting. Being heard. Learning that we are made with a voice…and voice matters…and a momma is there to be the first to hear it–and teach you that it matters…a lot.
I breathed his breath. So close it was warm–and I thought how sweet this is. This I have longed for and dreamed of. And hear now…so close–connecting as mother and son. This time is so precious and sweet. We don’t speak the same language…but we are starting to understand one another…each day sweeter–and longer night time routines…have become a treasure.
Right now, I have very little time for myself…none for phone calls…or even much time to just unwind. Thankful that His strength is sufficient for me. Each child has greater needs during change–and I’m choosing to turn to Him and bring them with me to Him in the morning…and afternoon…and night. Reading time out of Jesus Storybook Bible…talking about it together…and realizing the more we have around us–the more sweet ones to care for–instead of filling the calendars for each…our focus instead needs to be on going deeper. Lot of dying to self for each of us right now—and so thankful and in amazed at the work the Lord is doing in the hearts of all my children. Such beautiful children…so blessed to be their momma.
Some times during change–the enemy would whisper that you are missing out on a lot…but in reality–you have more than any momma could ever want–and you just need to keep your eyes on Him and allow His love to be poured into YOU…so you may turn around and pour that same love right back into their hearts and lives. One day at a time as tomorrow has enough of it’s own…and it’s the sweetest thing to know that He has everything…while He’s making you a mountain that cannot be moved.
Blessings this night…and may He fill you with strength and a desire to sit before Him in the week ahead…