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Insights from Dr.Purvis…

Are you considering adoption? Are you waiting for your sweetie to come home? Or are you newly home with your little one? Here are a few insights from Dr.Purvis that I thought were SO amazing to share! Soooo…from Dr.Purvis 7 insights for every adopting family…


What are your expectations?? I love that she says in this video to have NONE. My favorite quote in this one…“Jesus said take up your cross and follow me. I don’t find that Jesus ever called His disciples to a socially fashionable ministry. He called them to minister to the prostitute–to the taxcollector–to the people that were considered the outcast. Going into adoption–you have to understand this is not a socially fashionable ministry. This is a calling to lay down your life for the life of a child. Any other expection will bring disappointment…

Insight 1: Explore Your Expectations from Tapestry on Vimeo.


Love how Dr.Purvis shines wisdom on the cocooning concept…

Insight 2: Simplify Your Life from Tapestry on Vimeo.


Insight 3: Provide Familiarity and Continuity from Tapestry on Vimeo.


Insight 4: Be Fully Present from Tapestry on Vimeo.


I think this is one of the areas many want to ignore–but I really believe it is SO important!!! We need to know what behaviors to look for and to know when our children need extra help. I’m around so many adopted children in our community–and there are so many times I’m talking with a child and I see behaviors that are crying out for help. We need to know what these behaviors are and to be sensitive and ready to help those we sought to bring home and help heal in the deepest and most difficult ways.

Insight 5: Expect Long-Term Challenges from Tapestry on Vimeo.


Insight 6: Embrace the Complex Needs of Your Child from Tapestry on Vimeo.


Insight 7: Create a Balance of Nurture & Structure from Tapestry on Vimeo.

NOW…you might NOT be an adopting family–and seeing some of these videos may overwhelm you a bit. BUT being on this side of adoption–let me tell you…it is not easy–but it WORTH IT. God always equips who He calls! And to have the calling to LOVE a child and to help them HEAL…oh–such a SWEET and holy calling!!! We are not called to rescue a child. We are called to LOVE…to love as HE loves. If you are a parent–then you know it’s not always easy to LOVE as God loves. And there is nothing that will transform your heart more than parenting—and even more transformation is loving a child who is hurting…who you have to drop everything for…who you watch tremble with fear–and to rock and whisper…and sing truth into their sweet little souls.

YES–He always, always, ALWAYS will equip who He calls. And remember–this equipping will NOT come all at once…but bit by bit as you seek Him and ask He that called you to equip you. The world will some times look at you like you are crazy. They will question if you are doing what is best for your “own” kids. But deep down, you know this child IS YOUR OWN TOO…and there is nothing in the world you wouldn’t do to help healing begin. The Bible says do not look to the left or the right–but keep your eyes set on the prize of Christ. Keep your eyes set on the calling He has given you. And if the world shakes it’s head at you–you just keep steadfast on your calling and be the hands and feet of Christ…let Him love your child through YOU…and let HIM fill YOU with His love as you follow Him and trust Him.

And if I can ever pray for you…offer support…or answer questions (or direct you to someone who can)…please feel free to contact me. We are in this together–and what an honor it is to walk this journey with so many others!



Christy - April 18, 2011 - 12:11 am

Thank you so much for this Andrea!! We’re plugging through, using lots of Dr. Purvis’ strategies. I’m exhausted but encouraged!! It’s hard but rewarding!! I love receiving His strength and grace for each day. It is an honor to parent our son (and all our other kiddos) and I am so glad you feel the same way.
My blog is private (I’m praying about making it public) but feel free to email me if you’d like an invite.

Leah - April 18, 2011 - 10:57 am

I just wanted to let you know that this weekend I received my beautiful adoption t-shirt. Good things come to those who wait! 🙂 I had given up on receiving it, and never bothered to contact you because it was my own fault for having an outdated address on paypal, so I was SO pleasantly surprised when I got a package Saturday. I screamed with delight! I can’t wait to wear my new shirt! 🙂

Christy - April 18, 2011 - 8:35 pm

whew – I just watched them all, and it was overwhelming but encouraging too! Good stuff, and such a blessing that there is so much out there to inform and help.

Tiffany - April 18, 2011 - 10:39 pm

Thanks for this post Andrea. Sometimes I feel like the voice of doom to those who are in the process of adopting. I certainly don’t want to scare anyone…I just want them to know and to be prepared. I see this stuff in so many kids, but with parents not even aware of the issues…I just wish everyone knew this information!

emily - April 18, 2011 - 10:42 pm

Great Stuff!! We just got home from Rwanda a couple weeks ago with our little boy!! He is a delight. Your retreat and so much of the Purvis stuff has been such great prep work! I linked this post on my site, she is so wise! thanks for your insights as well, I am soaking it all up!

Charity - April 20, 2011 - 2:48 pm

Really good information! Thank you for sharing Andrea!

Stephanie Goldsmith - April 27, 2011 - 11:35 pm

Hi Andrea! Emily’s blog linked your site and I subscribed right away! Thanks for your efforts in posting Dr. Purvis’ very helpful videos! Her books have given me so many more tools to work with! I am adopting a 6 and 8 year old on Friday from the foster care system and this was very helpful!