Category Archives: Adoption Preparation Good question. And while it would be convenient and nice to not dig deeper, learn how to parent special needs differently and be willing make changes–the truth of parenting adopted children actually is that most every adopted child will have unique and special needs quite different than children who have NOT been through transition, trauma […] First of all, this isn’t Andrea. This is Christy. I am Andrea’s non-adoptive friend who is probably completely opposite from Andrea but our friendship works beautifully! I might be the only person who can completely ruin any craft project I try of hers! Not so crafty here…so this post won’t include a craft! 🙂 Andrea […] Sounds incredible. Christy, I would love to chat with you more on ways that you are able to serve those who are called to adopt since I’m in that boat right now too. That Parenting is your Highest Calling book sounds interesting – maybe similiar to the Missional Mom book that I’m reading right now. Have a great rest of your weekend! 🙂 Hi Christy! It was so great to meet you guys this weekend. Thanks so much for sharing an evening with me! We were rocked by Dr. Purvis this weekend as well, and are excited to see this movement among the people of God. Blessings to you! That retreat sounds wonderful! Hope I didn’t miss next year’s date and sign up! Will have to go check the website. 🙂 What a fun crew to travel with!  These past few weeks have been tough at our house–and one day I will share more…but right now–I’ll just say that the roller coaster ride of adoption doesn’t end when you bring your baby home. It just begins. But in a beautiful way…because that is when healing begins too. Healing though–is hard…especially for little ones […] Andrea, my heart ached for you as I read this post. Rejection by a child that you would lay down your life for is so painful. I am so glad that you let the Lord minister to your heart today. I know that you know this, but rejection is part of the bonding journey. Isaac pushes you away because he’s a baby and he can’t tell yo what’s going on. Grace is 4 and she can and does tell me. She tells me that she wants to go back. She tells me that she misses her Ethiopian mommy. She screams at night. And yet, as she pushes me away, I know that her little broken heart is just scared to trust, to love again. And so I keep loving her, as unconditionally as I can. And 14 months later, it’s better, so much better, and yet we still have our days. I’ll be praying that you will continue to lean on your Savior, to trust His timing. It will come….. Andrea, I am inspired by you as you hold on to God’s word and promise in these heart hurting moments. Even as we educate ourselves with books and seminars and know in our heads it is not “us”, it can beat you down. Rest in Him. (I don’t always take that advice). Thinking of you today. praying for you today, andrea. thank you for sharing this beautiful story…and your thoughts and struggles. Thank God for his hope. and his love. The way your little boys look at each other is so, so sweet. I am praying for you and Isaac. God has already done so much healing in your sweet boy’s life and I know He will continue the good work He is doing in Isaac’s life. I’m so glad you are able to truly experience God’s grace in your life right now. I pray things will get easier soon. I have often thought of Hosea during our adoption journey. A beautiful, frightening, painful, and redemptive image all in one. i was actually up in the night last night praying over hosea for you after reading your post on the listserv. your love is beautiful because it is HIS love. Andrea, you have always been such an encouragement to me. I learned to know you through “It’s a girl thing”. I have kept up with you and your little family. Your heart’s desire comes through loud and clear as I have read things about you. You’re a very “special Mommy” that God has placed in Isaac’s life AND God choose lil Isaac for you and your husband. No other one but YOU! God knows it would be difficult but He knew you would stick close to Him so He could carry you through each step. Your lil Frank must be such a sweetheart!!! Our children can teach us so much by the way they can be!!! God is good! I’ll be praying for you. Love this post! Mine are really close in age as well and close in their bond. I know what you mean about them teaching you how to love unconditionally, its pretty amazing. Love what the Lord is teaching you through Hosea. I needed to hear that today! I think I will always read that book of the Bible differently now. Thanks for the perspective. Andrea – I’ve been greatly encouraged by your posts this week. I’ve been making more of an effort to “get my silly” on and it has blessed our days. Silliness may be my daughter’s love language! Loved this post on Hosea. If God has shown many anything this year about parenting in the hard places, it has been to just simply love. Love and keep loving. I memorized 1 Corinthians 13 (the love adjectives part) and try to remind myself to love R that way everyday. It is impossible apart from Him, but He can enable me (and you) to love that way. Also, have you had a chance to listen to “Hope for the Hard Days” by Susan Hillis from the conference MP3’s? I attended that session and it blessed me greatly! Thanks again for taking the time to share. Love the book of Hosea and the picture of God’s love for us, and it so perfectly relates to what ya’ll are going through right now. Praying for ya’ll, Andrea! So very true. God’s Unfailing love doesn’t make sense to a world that does not get it. But to those that serve HIM we see it. We see it when we push God away and then cry out minutes later to be comforted….and God comes. We see it in our children that don’t want our love, but sooo desperately need it. We see it in everything around us…..love your thoughts Andrea…praying for you my dear friend….. I want to thank you for your openness. I have been praying for the many families who are adopting in our area right now because many are unaware of attachment parenting, sensory issues, & the emotional issues that they will need to be well versed in. I just found out about API Attachment Parenting International that has local groups perfect for adopting parents throughout the US. Here in the south the typical discipline style is just not right for adopted kiddos. Some families don’t understand & are going to be shocked when RAD surfaces between ages 7-9 in their children. It is so important for families to be prepared to use attachment parenting & occupational therapy from day 1 home. God is speaking through your transparency! Stay strong! Joshua 1:7-9 Love the way God speaks just what we need at just the right time! I was thinking of you today as I went to Hobby Lobby for the 1st time! I can see why you love that store. We are at an out of town BB Tourney and I had to stop quick to check it out!:)  I’m passionate about a handful of things…and I’m SO excited about this upcoming conference in Colorodo as it includes two of “my things” together! Parenting AND adoption. While our Created for Care Retreats are designed to REST, RESTORE, RETREAT and EQUIP–the Empowered to Connect conference is designed for BOTH men, women, counselors, professionals and church […] Hey Andrea: I’ll be at the conference! (I live about 10 minutes from the church!) I’d love to meet you there… Also, I’m sharing on FB… I have those books on my Amazon wishlist! 🙂 -Nikki Wow! Stoked to see that you are going to this! SO AM I! Jeff will be out of town for work, but my mother-in-law is joining me! Possibly my friend who also joined me for Created for Care Retreat too! SOOOO looking forward to it! Hope we can meet up there at some point! 🙂 My husband and I will be there too! You did get a good deal on your car rental. Hope we can meet you there sometime! I would love to know about the one in Georgia… Who is the sponsor and is it already available to register. All of these are on our list to purchase. They would fill my ‘waiting time’. I shared by email, facebook and our blog! Thanks-Paula Hi-I read your blog daily way up here in PA! Love it! We’re about 4 weeks from bringing home our 8 month old baby boy from Ethiopia. Right now he’s in the hospital with pneumonia and measles. Praying that he gets better so we can bring him home. I would love to win the giveaway! I emailed the link and posted on facebook for 2 entries. I have a private blog for just me to journal life…so that would be pointless! We’re doing a Karin Purvis study in our orphan care ministry at church…it’s fantastic! God Bless you. I have sent this to various people through email! Your blog is so inspirational and challenging. Thanks for serving the Lord as you do!! i live very close to the church and will be there. we chould make lunch or dinner plans for one of the days […] last fun drawing before calling it quits for the night! Last week I shared about the Empowered to Connect Conference here on my blog and anyone who shared about this AMAZING conference got entered to win an amazing adoption care […] I have had a bit of a crazy two weeks…in a good, crazy way–and lot of processing on this end. While adoption does have hard sides–it also has redeeming, miraculous and beautiful sides too. God works wonders many, many times in both birth moms lives as well as families He calls to be the second […] Andrea thanks so much for posting this! Just what I needed right now…i cried through the whole video! Your right! The waiting is SO hard and sometimes I’m not sure I can do it anymore but these videos prove its worth it all!! :)Kristy Kay oh my – i NEVER get tired of happy parties like this one! and it never fails – i cry tears of joy every time!!! Nothing fills up a worn out momma’s soul quite so much as a good ole Gotcha Day Video! I sincerely needed this today. |
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by admin
Thank you so much for this and in the morning I am going to watch the videos. We brought home our son (kiddo #4) from ET 10 months ago and he was about 2 1/2 then. We are struggling!! Things were rough, then good, and now rough again. My good friend Eryn was there this weekend and I can’t wait to read your blog posts and pick my friend Eryn’s brain about this weekend. I am hoping to come to the retreat next year!! Thanks for the encouragement!!
Andrea, thank you! I hope alot of this will be part of the CFC retreat next year. Love that you 3 got to go! xoxox Esty
Wow, I see a lot of my R in the paragraph in which you talk about tantrums. I’ve wondered for a while if R has some sensory integration issues— I would definitely say she does at this point after reading this post. Thank you.
AMEN! What a great recap post. I too, feel incredibly empowered to help my baby girl, and truthfully, some great tools for our WHOLE family. I am so excited about these tools and want EVERY adoptive/foster parent I know to have the opportunity to learn from it! GREAT post!
It was nice to catch a glimpse of you in person 🙂 Eryn
This post is so good! While I knew that I needed to parent Malachi taking into account his early separation from his birth mother It never crossed my mind that Eli may have similar needs due to his week separation from me in the nicu.
I just have to say – I LOVE your blog!! I am mom to two precious cuties through domestic open adoption (and am a friend of Kimberly Chalk…I think that is how I found your blog!). I would love to hear more about the group you mentioned. I will definitely check out the links. Blessings,
Gretchen
Sounds like she has had contact with the STAR Center Sensory Therapies and Research. They are doing ground breaking Sensory Integration Therapy which reprograms the brain. All adoptive mommas should read the Out of Sync Child because it tells about Sensory Processing & how to change the brain through meeting their sensory needs. They are awesome!!!
thank you for this post. i’m going to link to it!
Finally have some time to sit down and catch up on your blog…my, I’ve missed a lot! I love this post and I wish I had known much of this before going to get Caleb rather than months after. This is so right though…even at just 9 months when we got him, Caleb is definitely a child in need of much sensory stimulation! I wish everyone knew all of this going in!