Today has been a very sad day in the history of our country.
One too many lives were lost…to a very broken soul…and my heart grieves for the children, families and all effected by what took place today at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.
It doesn’t make sense. Innocent, most precious little lives lost. And so many that will relive that day and struggle with fear…so many families that will spend forever reliving today thinking of a million different “what if’s”…
Because I’m a mom–with little elementary age kids…it also hits me in a different way…knowing the giggles of my children…their hearts…dreams we have for their future. I can’t imagine the moms–my age…right now…rocking in their homes but not in a rocking chair–but instead grieving the loss and the whys of what happened today. I have so many mixed emotions…sadness, anger, fear. If I didn’t know God personally I would be shouting from the rooftops, “WHY! WHY! WHYYYY!” So many ask, “Why does God allow bad things like this to happen?”
One thing you can be sure of–our Father tonight…He is grieving. He, too, is broken hearted. He knew every single detail of each and every life lost and hurt today…and He loved each and every one deeply. Tonight–you can rest assured that our Father in heaven is grieving…a world He created…people He created…all to know Him and to know love through Him–but this…this was not part of His plan.
Our God–He is good. So good that He doesn’t press down His hand on you to move you left and right. He didn’t create robots…but instead men, women, girls and boys…with hearts that have the ability to love, hate, and make choices every single day. Instead of demands–our God whispers His love. And His love–He has whispered to all of us…only not everyone listens. And any time we live not listening–there is brokenness…it can be in a form in our hearts that goes unnoticed for awhile…but left alone it just grows and grows. The man responsible for today was once a little boy…just like those children–and truly as moms and dads…as mentors and teachers…we have such an opportunity to pour love in…and point them to the only one that heals the broken hearted…His name is Jesus.
My God–He is still good.
He was constant today.
Tables were turned over.
The heavens shook.
As a mom to precious ones, I confessed my fear of the future. Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” I felt the desire to retreat and just stay there–like…forever. 1 Thessalonians 3:13, “And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.” I can’t shrink back, just protect my family and hide. No–there are too many broken hearted who need to be poured into. There is a real battle out there and as believers…we must fight it. But it might look a bit different than what we think. Maybe instead of running we are to look out for the broken hearted and get messy with them–and pour love in. Messy people are not fun to love…but because there is only One that can heal them–and the battle is real–just maybe fighting that battle has a whole lot less to do with adding more security to our homes and schools but instead looking for those that are hurting and getting down right messy with them…and loving them BIG. Sorry folks but the enemy is a whole lot smarter than me or you–man’s inventions will not stop him or his wicked schemes…only Jesus will.
This wasn’t the first awful tragedy to take the lives of littles ones–but oh my heart…it longs for it to be the last. Our God in Heaven wants that even more than we do. He’s shaking His head and screaming WHY, WHY, WHYYYYYY so, so much louder than we are today. His love is so great, big and wide–but so, so many are missing it. Racing around to activity to activity when there are broken hearted just right next door. I’m not pointing to anyone here but myself. And I need to live life a bit more radically after today. I need to pray that the Lord would make me more bold…and that He would show me more sin in my own heart…because trust me–I have plenty of it there. And if it’s not rid of…it will just hurt–and to God…yuck is yuck. And to God–love is love…as we love others through His strength no matter how in capable we feel–because He is God He can and will use it for His glory…to heal…to restore…and to make this world a little bit more like He longed for it to be.
So tonight…instead of shopping–this mom is going to stay in my basement and continue packaging to raise money for a ministry I love…that pours love in. I’m going to not give up. I’m going to combat fear. And I’m going to not grow weary in doing good. I do need to call someone tonight too and ask them to forgive me because I got really frustrated with them today. And that’s not very pretty either.
I’m thankful we have a King that loved us enough to come. He cares. He cries. And if you are still reading this–I hope you know how much He loves you. Take heart–no matter how hard this life may get or look–He really has overcome the world. Let us turn what the enemy meant for evil today into good. Let us remember the lives lost, pray for those left behind and look every day for someone to love bigger for His name sake and glory.
Love you all in Christ Jesus.