Breathing. That’s what I’m doing today. In and out. And thankful.
Since I wrote last–we’ve been on a roller coaster. And I’m just thankful to be on the other side. God is good. And even if it had taken another turn–he is still good. Deep sigh. I believe it. Harder to type with a mommy heart.
On Friday morning at 6am Rico Suave and P-man (the 9 year old) took off for a father/son trip. They left early for the airport, and would depart around 9ish.
The preschoolers were up and at ’em–as was my soon-to-be 7 year old princess. She’ll be 8 soon. And all she wants is Ivy–her American Girl doll’s best friend;). I used to not be a fan of dolls that cost an arm and a leg–but she waited 7 years for her first–and oh my the historical stories are good. Ever since China–she’s wanted Ivy. I wasn’t planning on it–but the events of the day…would make for her earning a doll in 30 minutes–even though it took her 7 hours to wait for her first one.
Zeke, our 2 year old, was sleeping in–and with viruses all over the place, I assumed because he is normally bouncing at 7:30am that maybe he had one–so…I let him sleep. Just before 9am, I asked Laney if she wanted to wake him (what we all fight over in this house on mornings he sleeps in!) and she did. Only she ran back downstairs saying she couldn’t. I ran up–and he was hard to wake. Hmmmm…a virus I thought.
I piled everyone up in our van. Took the 2 boys to preschool–and seeing Mr.Sleepy doze back off I even put on lullaby music. The boys hopped out–and something felt off so I pulled in a parking space to stir our 2 year old. I stirred. I stirred. I stirred. And he wouldn’t wake up. And I knew something was terribly wrong.
We raced to the ER–in 9am traffic. Okay–so racing in 9am traffic is hard. So I honked. I prayed. Hazards on. And I begged my precious, scared 7 year old princess to keep her little brother awake. She said it was hard and not working–and I needed a helper. So I had a very quick heart-to-heart–which included IF you do this–I will take you to the American Girl store after all of this is over–and I’ll buy you Ivy. I gave a pep talk–mommy needs you–we need you–you can do this–talk…and I focused on weaving in and out of traffic. It was one of the most scariest mornings–moments–days in my mommy hood. And I’m so proud of how my little girl rose to the occasion with one hand monitoring breathing and the other patting cheeks to try to keep him awake. But I watched in the rearview at her handing him toys and how they dropped to the floor….and my heart raced–I prayed out loud–and I just hope and pray she isn’t too traumatized our sweet girl for helping but rather sees His hand and miracle in how it all turned out.
I called Rich to see if his flight had taken off. They were about to take off, and he wasn’t allowed off the plane. So for the next 2 hours he would be in the air now knowing. Then my phone lost battery–and I couldn’t call 9-11 as I was in traffic if I wanted to.
I know you see us Lord. Help us Lord Jesus I cried.
We got to the ER–and at that point our sweet boy was completely out. Much of the rest a blur. They didn’t raise the side rails of the bed because he wasn’t moving–and after blood work we realized his blood sugar had already dropped to 40 (normal range is 70-120). Much of what was happening now was described in some of our paperwork. I knew it wasn’t epilepsy but something else. Probably whatever they thought was epilepsy in China.
Hours past which felt like minutes. Crazy how fast time goes when you are just waiting and watching for a little love to wake up. I kept asking all the nurses would he be alright–just fine right. Thankful for how quickly my sister-in-law, mom, sister and brother-in-law all came. To sit with me as Rich couldn’t. Made me realize as much as my heart THOUGHT moving to a farm in Tennessee was what we “needed” that we were exactly where we needed to be. With family nearby. I needed them. So thankful.
Watching Laney hold his little lifeless hand and tell him it was going to be okay. Singing “itsy-bitsy” spider to those closed eyes. A million thoughts went through my head. And then after several doses of glucose in the IV and probably forever later–but what felt like minutes–he opened his eyes. He saw Uncle Harris leaning over the bed, and he assumed Papa and Nana would be wherever Uncle Harris was–so with a scruffy little whisper he asked, “Papa? Nana?” And I knew everything would be okay.
So thankful when we got moved out of triage to a regular room–and I saw these eyes!!
A few hours later and more glucose…and we had this:
So thankful. We are now home. We have an appointment first thing at 8am to start some diagnostic testing. This was our first experience with ketotic hypoglycemia–and crazily I felt more prepared to deal with epilepsy than low blood sugar problems. I just had no idea the scare that could come with it. We will be running lots and lots of tests in the weeks ahead–and just hope and pray we never have another experience EVER again like we did Friday. I know some of you might not be American Girl doll fans–but after the day we had on Friday…and what Laney-loo went through as the most amazing cheerleader and support to her brother…I think she totally earned one. So get ready to meet Ivy ahead;)
One thing I learned from this weekend…was that He can be trusted in the unknown. With my husband out of the state–unable to be reached on an airplane…He was all I could talk to…and He was enough. The Lord graciously took care of our other children so I could be fully there with the support of precious family and friends. And although I often feel like a fish out of water–on Friday I was a taken care of floppy fish. And so was my boy. Although I felt more desperate than I ever have–I also knew in the moment…in the crazy…in the unknown–that I could trust Him. And realizing that in a moment like this as a mom–is truly one of the most comforting–peaceful–miraculous realizations you could ever have.
But I do have a confession–although I knew I could trust Him–I wasn’t to the point of being able to say “Thy will be done.” I just didn’t. I begged. I pleaded. I told Him what I wanted. I begged some more. And it ended so beautifully. I thought about my friend’s little man who also had a similar scare–that didn’t end the good way ours did. And I’m ministered to–as even with that outcome…not what she begged for…she still trusts Jesus with such strong faith. Have you ever wondered what you would do? I certainly do not want to find out. But I hope I would run fast to Him–trusting Him–holding on to who He says He is even in the unwanted outcomes of our children…our most precious eternal things on this earth.
Praising Him today how our weekend ended and the knowledge we know have to proceed in testing ahead. Praise Him! Praise Him! Praise Him! Still recovering in my heart…but so, so thankful today.
p.s. JUST to make you laugh–you know that saying “God never gives you more than you can handle”?? Um. That is NO where in the Bible folks. So just for your entertainment–get this. This ALL happened…while Rico was gone–while I’m fighting a parasite which explained the fatigue (yep! found out last week I have a glorious parasite only found in oysters. Um–I don’t eat oysters;)…while our dryer was out–I’ve been frequenting the coin laundry…worse than the dryer being out was the dryer vent was clogged causing water to trickle down the walls. They say when it rains–it pours…haha–no pun intended. And did I mention I had pjs, a sweatshirt–and was super thankful for the sweatshirt because I failed to put on a KEY undergarment as I thought I was just running a quick round of preschool carpool? Um–that would be for ALL DAY in the ER!! Nice. The ONE redeeming thing…was I had cute slippers on. That was about IT y’all. And some times–when the going gets tough…you just need fancy slippers. It’s the little things that some times will make you smile;)