30 days since our official LID (log in date)…
30 days waiting for our LOA (Letter of Approval)…
Although the Chinese New Year has everything closed for a bit…I’m hoping they are moseying back in the office soon and our papers will be on the right desk at the right time.
It’s been about 130 days since we first saw our son’s picture for the first time–and I’m just so ready to have him in my arms.
Sorry this update isn’t that exciting. Now you know what it’s like to wait in the adoption journey. The updates to being another step closer are such, such fun–but most days…are like this–just waiting. Of course you go on your day to day…chasing kids…going to the park…but all the while–someone is missing…and it feels like a looming cloud over your head…just wanting the other part of your heart to be home. I don’t fully understand the miracle God does in adoption–but I do know that Zeke is part of my heart…and every adoption mom–feels this hole…this emptiness that she can’t describe until her little one is in her arms. While another mom carried our littles–the Lord miraculously birthed a longing deep in our hearts and it feels like loss while they are away from us. We would do anything for the child we wait for. Just as we would for the children we may have carried in our tummies…our heart babies are no different. There is absolutely nothing that this little one could do…absolutely no health problem or issue that would effect a thing…this boy is our son through and through…and it brings me to tears to think that THIS is just an inkling to how our Savior longs for us…His children.
Can you IMAGINE?? Did you know?? That He LONGS for you THIS WAY?? There you sit…feeling alone–and often lost…yet HE SEES YOU. El-Roi…”The God who sees.” He sees you. He knows you. He LONGS for you. You, my friend, are not alone. The enemy and the world will tell us lies…tell you that you ARE alone…that you just don’t fit…that you don’t have community…that you are a fish out of water. And you’ll be tempted to fill the empty you feel from those lies in other ways…all the while–your Father…He sees you–and calls to you. Can you hear His calling?? He waits…He longs…He calls out to you. And He would do anything for you–love you just the way you are…and nothing–there is nothing about you…your faults or imperfections that would change His pursuit and love for you.
As long as we are here on this Earth…there will be that void…until we are in His presence and see Him face to face. But here–He promises when we come to Him…that He will fill us. Coming to Him looks different for us all…just sitting in His presence…talking to Him–in our thoughts and quiet prayers throughout the day…calling out to Him in our closets when everything else is too crazy and feelings of desperation consume. Let me…let you…let us instead be consumed by His all consuming fire…His glory…His power…His great big love.
Boy do I need His love and strength to carry me. I need Him to care for my son across the world. I need Him to care for me right here.
And so I’ll wait…another day…and another day for that next piece of paper work to bring our son home. Much like our walk of faith–some days seem like constant waiting and like dull muscle pain when you have been running and running…and you just keep putting one step forward (not that I would know what that really feels like;)…and then–on our journeys…comes His glory–through valleys and on mountains. I’m thankful…so thankful for both. But I’m really, really, really ready for the next mountain top…the LOA. Praying big that we’ll travel by May and that I’ll be able to hold him…hug him…and sing happy birthday to him myself.
Thank you for praying this with me. I count your prayers and encouragement my sweetest of treasures. Thank you.
P.S. I seriously need to post pictures of our dailies soon. I’ve been having too much fun with Instagram (andreainga over there!). Oh my…I haven’t even blogged about our cat–put if you are on instagram then you’ve seen the pictures;). (Yes I’m allergic.) I must share the story soon just to make you laugh! Blessings y’all!
A song or two for you to listen to…as you just sit in His presence…