Where do the roads meet?

***They told me adoption was not for the faint of heart. And this post isn’t either. This is just my heart and where I am today. It’s not fluffy or pretty—it’s just real. It’s a part of our family’s faith journey…to look back and remember every question we asked and to later see how His perfect plan so beautifully would unfold…

Three years ago this month, the Lord led our hearts to Africa. I was sitting in Sunday school with Africa heavily on my heart. I was in the midst of a successful photography business—feeling led to do something different with the profits. And that’s when we heard Kevin share his story. Kevin had developed a friendship with a Zambian pastor years earlier when Timothy came to the US for a pastors conference and stayed in his home. During his stay–brothers were made between these two. Across the world, their friendship continued. Then one day, Timothy became very sick and died later of tuberculosis.

In Zambia, when someone dies–the community shuns the widow saying she is carrying the deceased ghost. Timothy’s family came and took everything his family owned, leaving his wife Kunda and their precious girls on the street. The Lord pressed Kevin to begin sending Kunda and her family money to live–and their live took a turn for the worse…from on the streets to abundance. She had money left over each month from what Kevin was sending her and she took that money to the compounds and began paying teachers to teach the orphans who were too poor to be schooled. This had been Timothy’s dream—and now it was going to begin through Kunda and Kevin. When Kunda told Kevin what she was doing, his curioustiy was too much and he traveled to see for himself. He took pictures and came home to tell the story…

Kunda and Kevin picture above

And that’s when we met. We heard the story, and hearts were immediately in. We started supporting Kunda’s mission—our ministry had doubled. My passion to photograph families grew as I had a new purpose. My heart began to live, eat, breath Africa—and in July 2007 Richard and I went over for ourselves to see the work. Every day 400 children were showing up to learn in old rented out mud church buildings. Rain or shine—they were there. When it did rain, the children would sit in the rain to learn. They were hungry for knowledge—for hope and a future. Approximately 100 widows showed up each day later to learn how to sew on sewing machines that had been purchased. The Lord was doing a great work…


Hope was being born in the lives of these widows and orphans–and we came home with a fire lit under our tail to build these kids what our hearts knew they deserved. A school with a roof over their heads. An opportunity to receive an education. A chance to hear the Word of God. A meal a day. We could not be quiet. The Lord raised up 3 other couples to join us. And without even going over yet–they too were in. Within just a handful of months, the money was raised–our non-profit status achieved–and we were building. It went from this…
To looking more like this…

God has been soooo good—and three years later we have TWO schools, a sponsorship program and regular trips going over FULL of people wanting to be a part of Wiphan Care Ministries! We are keeping these precious children off the streets, in their country and in many ways–helping foster families for them as they have teachers and other widows parenting them. So…with that—I come to the adoption front with a much different background. And for me, it makes some things a bit harder.

***STOP READING NOW IF YOU WANT IT TO REMAIN LIGHT, FLUFFY AND EXCITING. Oh, this part is still exciting—just depends on how you define the word. The Lord is really walking me through some things…and if you want to really know me and for this blog to be honest–well, this is part of it too. There are a couple of things that I’m not yet comfortable with–and this is what makes this adoption wait good for me (more time to process things ahead).

When we came into adoption, we had a picture in our mind what our child must look like. I say must as in—we assumed this is what every orphan “must” look like…we guessed. We pictured the double orphans (meaning no mom or dad alive) needing a home…with no family to care for them—oh but the Young’s would galliantly ride in and save a child…give him a home. And we would live happily ever after.

We heard the stats–145,000,000 orphans in the world—but of those approximately 100,000,000 have a mom or a dad still living. Best guess from UNICEF stats is approximately 40,000,000 double orphans out there…and we assumed ours surely must be one of those. BUT later we realized that many (maybe I’ll even say most) adoptions take place with a living parent who has given up their rights to keep their child due to poverty. Many of us want to turn our heads to the orphan crisis. But some of us also want to turn our heads to the statistic of mothers who desperately want to keep their babies, but feel they have no other choice because of their poverty. And while I can afford to adopt—A ITTY, BITTY PART OF ME WANTS TO DO THAT TOO…BUT THE LORD WON’T LET ME. And if I chose to adopt a baby with this story—I can’t NOT do something about it. It’s just not okay with me. I don’t want to just think of her every year or lose sleep over her at night. My heart wants to do more. My heart has no other choice. I can’t go to Disney world every year and smile with Mickey while someone across the world is hurting. After 3 years of learning Africa’s culture, I can’t take a baby from that either. When we chose to adopt a baby from Ethiopia–we knew it would mean more than just to dabble in the culture with fun meals and token outfits. We will make life-long commitments to in many ways to LIVE that culture. And we knew that coming in. This would mean MANY trips across the world with our baby. This would mean our family possibly learning another language. For us, this will mean a lot more than just growing our family. We having chosen to be orphan advocates–not just adoption advocates…and these are two seperate things. Some times they work together—but not always.

So…this is where I stand. Asking the Lord…”Where do the roads meet? Where does Wiphan—a ministry that keeps families together—and adoption come together for our story? The Lord continues to press on our hearts this verse: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:27. I need my child to know that I not only fought for him, but I fought for EVERY avenue of him. I need him to one day read that I didn’t come in not considering EVERY avenue and praying for any other way. I have to search my heart—search my motives—and trust the Lord with what He shows me in the process. I am called to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep myself from being poluted by the world. I hear the opinions of friends. I hear the opinions of other adoption advocates. I hear the opinions of the world. But it is the Lord’s Word that matters. It is Him we as believers are called to be obedient to—no matter what. How O LORD do you want me to “look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep myself from being polluted by the world?”

So Lord…where do these roads meet? How can I make a difference in the lives of widows in Ethiopia so those who want to keep the babe of their hearts CAN? How will our adoption bring the most glory to Him? Can I really just walk away and live happily ever after? OR DO YOU WANT ME TO DO MORE??? And I don’t want to wrestle with these questions later…but I know I will. My eyes were open long ago to families like these…And maybe I’m a dreamer…but Wiphan was started on a dream—and 450 orphans and 150 widows later…it is thriving…offering hundreds of children a chance to grow in their cultures and make a difference in their worlds.

I wish I knew the end of our story. And I’m sorry that you have to see the hard part too. But today this is all I got. It is for our child to read and understand why we never gave up. And how this, too, was part of our journey to him. I wish I knew how those roads meet because I can’t walk away with what I know and have lived. Maybe it’s the beginning of a new ministry in Ethiopia. Maybe it will be through our child’s birth family where a ministry is begun. Maybe it’s to have an open adoption…a crazy commitment to a family across the world to actually do life together. God made a way for Moses—and it wasn’t easy…but the Lord also made change in this way through him. Maybe it’s opening my silly eyes that know and have seen so little to understand really what God is doing. I want to be obedient whatever it is. And it probably won’t make sense to the rest of the world…because that is often how my God seems to work…at least in my life anyway.

Give us direction Lord. Courage to be obedient. Faith to follow. And help me to live for You alone.

Whenever…wherever…however…Your will be done. Thanks family, friends, readers for being here with me even for the hard stuff. Our family covets your prayers as we are on this journey to do His will. I guess when I share the hard things you (my sweet readers) just become a little more a part of our story. Our journey and where the Lord takes us…will just be all the more meaningful that you walked through every avenue with us. Thank you for being a part…for still reading…and listening. I appreciate you and your prayers. I really do. Many of you may be on your own journey to adoption…each and every journey WILL look COMPLETELY different. Just be obedient to what the LORD CALLS YOU TO—don’t look at me, to the left or to the right—keep YOUR EYES FOCUSED ON HIM and be OBEDIENT to what HE calls YOU to. Don’t give up to the race He has called you to. And remember—He is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS faithful.