We sang this song today in worship.
It was for me…from my Father in Heaven.
My heart needed to sing it to Him today…
Today’s message was no different.
It was for me…from my Father in Heaven.
And I’m waiting.
With my hands lifted high in praise.
These last few months have been…well, I can’t even think of the word. I’d say confusing–but my God is not the God of confusion. Maybe different. Different than anything I’ve ever experienced.
Physicially–I’ve felt different. More tired than ever before. And it’s not because I have 4 children. Yes–that might add to it…but it’s a different kind of tired. I’ve felt more like what I’d guess someone much older than me feels.
Whether it’s Lymes disease or Sjogren’s–they both make you tired, have arthritis pain, memory loss…the opposite of characteristics I used to take pride in.
A mommy that was fully of energy…lately I want to nap several times a day (but of course can’t with my littles and homeschooling). Homeschooling??? Really Lord? This would be the year You called me to homeschool???
A mommy that had/has a dream of writing…all of the sudden I feel like I have trouble thinking of words that so eloquently used to come natural.
A mommy that felt called to adopt again…to have finally finished the home study process…to feel out of sorts and like I needed to get a rein on health…something I have always taken for granted. To be told I might have something that would close the door–to then we could move forward with doctors approval…only to feel not quite myself and know that it wasn’t the right time.
Walk by faith.
It’s so easy to let the fear of the future keep in…what will it look like??
“We will never walk by faith until we are desperate.” -Crawford Loritts
Moses’s parents stepped out in faith. His mom BELIEVED in faith that God had something better for her baby boy than to be killed by Pharaoh. In faith, she hid him for months to save his life. In faith, she put him in a basket in the Nile where alligators thrived. REALLY LORD? I’m sure she asked this. In faith, she sat and watched–hoping and praying for something better. She believed. She followed Him in faith. And…He was indeed faithful.
“Where God is taking you is ALWAYS better than where you are.” -C. Loritts
And the road to where He is taking you–might not be comfortable or easy. But He who has called–will be faithful in taking you to your promised land.
I really believe the Lord called me to write…with a passion to speak even…regardless if I have trouble remembering the words or let fear of memory loss creep in. I believed He called me to do those things one day…and He will be faithful. I believe the Lord called us to grow our family. And right now–I know I need to see how the months unfold and if symptoms worsen or fade away. I know this is where He has me. I know He is faithful. I know He has a purpose.
The promised land.
The promised land–the personal promises–in our lives may not come immediately from our Father. They may not come in the timing or the way we would hope or expect. And the journey to the promised land–our promised land–is one of great faith. There will be many trials on the way. There will be Red Seas in front of us. Seas that do not part–until we are some times knee deep in the water.
Today–it felt so good to worship Him. To lift my hands high and just praise Him for His complete goodness in my life. To know that I can trust Him with my future…with the story that HE is writing for me. If you have been reading my blog for some time or you are a dear friend of mine–then you know when I turned 18 and accepted Jesus as my Savior that I prayed that He would give me a life of adventure–one that would bring complete honor and glory to His name…
So far…my God has been so faithful. What is a beautiful story without hard days?? Days where He shines through and makes the impossible happen…where He is seen as faithful through a story of a child of His following Him in faith.
I praise Him today because He has been and will be faithful.
I praise Him today because I continue to see Him write and work in my story.
I praise Him because He is enough for me…and I believe He is simply asking us to step out in faith when things all around us are uncertain…and to trust and follow Him.
I can’t wait to see how one day He leads me to the personal promised lands He has written on my heart. It’s going to be beautiful…I just know it…
And I will wait.
With my hands lifted high.
Blessings to you today as you wait upon Him!