The Young Family Farm »

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That won’t work for me. {Learning new lingo for the sake of family}

One phrase I think I have learned to say too well: “Hmmm. Let me think. Gosh. Okay. I think I can make that work.”

Can you volunteer here?

Hmmmm. Let me think. Gosh. Okay. I think I can make that work.

THIS is my only opening–would you like it?

(There are varieties of how the phrase go you know.)

Your only opening? Thank you for saving it for me. Yes! We’ll take it. I think I can make it work. Yay.”

There are fewer kids in the earlier ballet class–would you mind moving up to an earlier time so my classes are more balanced?

(Deep breath. That means less nap time for the littles…) Sure. We’d love to. (I think I can make that work.)

If we don’t find enough teachers for this Sunday school class–we are going to have to shut down Sunday school. (Have you ever seen a church shut down Sunday school by the way?)

Oh no. That’s awful! Of course we can fill this need! I think we can make that work! No problem. Happy to.

I can’t do or go and I need it unless someone helps me…

Hmmmm…Let me talk to Richard. Gosh. Okay. I thank we can make it work.

And before you know it.

You feel stretched thin.

A bit like a doormat as the world runs back and forth and back and forth…

Driving in on 2 wheels.

The backdoor neighbor’s dogs barking much too close.

The hustle and bustle taking the place of…LIFE.

And I’m learning.

Learning some times too late. But better late than never.

To step back and say–“That won’t work for me.”

“I wish I could–I want to–but it won’t work for us.”

I’m learning to ask myself with every yes what the cost is. And to measure the cost…what will be lost against what COULD be gained.

I’m learning someone asks to volunteer–because THEY have learned to say no…they have learned to delegate.

I’m learning someone has learned to tell you that THIS is their ONLY opening…because they have learned boundaries–and if their boundaries are firm–then mine can be too. And if the opening doesn’t work for US–then I need to learn to say, “That won’t work for me” and find something that will.

I’m learning someone says there are fewer kids in an earlier class and they want us to move up–because they have learned BALANCE–and if it gets us out of balance…then to stay put. There’s a reason you picked the first time in the first place. (Too late to change now–but I will do this next time:)

I’ve learned that someone saying they will shut down if you don’t step up is using guilt and pressure to move and guilt isn’t from the Lord. And we should never mix service with His bride with making others feel guilty rather than loved. There is a root issue there–and we should be moved to serve out of understanding, love and a calling.

I’m learning that when someone else tells you if you or someone else doesn’t help them they can’t do it–that just maybe they are looking to you to be their savior–and you know…maybe being honest and truthful–and saying you can’t will allow them to rely on and trust a real Savior to meet their needs.

I’m learning. Learning slowly. (Does anyone really read this? I kind of hope not. It’s easier to write when you think not any way;)

Learning to simply say, “That won’t work for me”—and to smile…and move on. And that not making everything work IS OKAY.

Even good.

And freeing.

For a people pleaser–this is hard…but so good to finally, finally, finally learn to do.

I’m also learning–that you can only feel like a fish out of water for so long in the busy when you are called to something else—or vise versa.

On a personal level—I’m learning…that I’m afraid–you can take the girl out of the country–but you can’t take the country out of the girl.

BUT how I’ve tried city life.

I married a city boy–and for 10 years we have lived in the suburb of Atlanta…country to my husband who grew up beside Chastain Park listening to Michael Jackson perform from his bedroom window in the heart of the city.

But this girl. Oh I’ve tried. And tried hard. We’ve jumped right in on 2 wheels. And we’ve also done our best to slow down in the city by homeschooling and just being together.

Then I look out my window…and see my neighbors house. I step outside and instead of quite…I’m sent back inside from the barking of someone else’s dog…and it just time. Thankfully Ivy thinks so too;)

I want to look at my back window and see His creation–instead of seeing my neighbor’s bricks and his creepy telescope in the backyard facing my house (surely he’s looking at the stars and the wind made it tilt the wrong way, right;)

More of this…

And maybe some times this…

And glimpses of this…

Richard and I have been dreaming about a quieter life since we first got married. We’ve had lots of time to dream sitting in traffic and all this running around;)

But I don’t really share those dreams so much with those right in the mix with us–because I also hear, “That’s harder than you think. That sounds like a LOT of work.”

Well for us–being in the city with a busier lifestyle is A LOT of work too. Scheduling play dates weeks in advance because no one just drops in in city culture. Every where you go takes at least 30 minutes in traffic–and 30 more to get back. Although there are million activities to choose from and tiers of which is best…and how you get in and move up…some times I’m not sure if it’s really best–for US.

No matter where we are–there will be work. But I want my work–whatever that is–to make our hearts sing.

I know nothing about cows, sheep or goats. I’m scared to death of horses…and dogs…and probably if I’m honest–even chickens. I know nothing about raising any of these…so shake your head and say, “Bless your heart–you have no idea” all you want:). BUT…we are going to try.

In just a couple of weeks the sign goes up in our front yard.

We have NO idea where we’ll find this farm of ours. But we are going for it. We’ve dreamed and talked and dreamed some more. Because the city and the busy and the van on two wheels–well, that won’t work for me any more either. Our kids are all in–and excited. And I might even have to change my blog name…Me + Farmer Rico + Cinco…I don’t know. But I do know a-change is a-comin’…and while we might find ourselves back in the city of it doesn’t work for us…we know we have to and want to try.

So here’s to our next adventure! And hoping our house sells in His perfect timing!

Can’t wait for you guys to be entertained with our learning to be gentlemen farmers;)! Excited. Hopeful.



Megan - January 22, 2014 - 3:00 pm

Ahhh I can’t wait to follow your journey as you take this step! I am in my heart a country girl and just keep dreaming of the day when we can make it happen!

Amy - January 23, 2014 - 9:40 am

I love it!! We too are in the process of finding our little piece of dirt. Even though we are not in the suburbs of Atlanta, we do want a place big enough for the animals. Yes, it’s hard work, but that is the kind of work we were designed for 🙂
amy (in south ga)

Kim - January 23, 2014 - 9:25 pm

Hi! I’ve been a lurker for at least a year. I find your blog wonderfully inspiring. After reading this post, I just had to comment to put a plug in for where we are living–Greenville, SC. We are also from ATL, and I always thought we would go back to the big city, but not anymore! Greenville is the perfect mix of country and city. Traffic is essentially non-existent and the homeschooling community is robust and very active. In fact, I know way more people who homeschool than do public, and we are doing public school 🙂 I could go on and on, but I wanted to throw it out there because a lot of people don’t realize the virtues of this area.

SleepyMom - January 24, 2014 - 8:57 am

You know it’s okay to live in the “country” and not actually do any farming. Just saying.
My parents also hated city life and staring at the neighbors house 10 ft away so they moved us out of the city to 13 acres surrounded by another 50+ that no one had ever built on. BUT they chose a wooded steep hilly area so no real farming possible. We could have dogs and cats able to run around free and enjoy life. We saw tons of wildlife all the time and we always were in the shade because of all the trees and we certainly never had road noise, neighbor noise, etc. My Dad has chickens now because you don’t need a huge flat pasture for them, and my mom has a huge garden that she built done by the road because that’s the only flat space. The garden has to be long and narrow to fit between the steep hill and the road. I’ve got to tell you country life with minimal farming is kind of awesome and tranquil. There’s enough to do that my kids love visiting and helping pick ripe stuff from the garden and feed the chickens, but it’s not so time intensive as to prevent my parents from traveling to visit grandkids, working, hobbies etc.

I hope your farm adventure in the country works out perfectly for your family.

Natalie - January 24, 2014 - 2:38 pm

Oh how I agree with you! This post sounds like the cries of my heart too! How much slower life could be… if we didn’t live so close to 285. Praying for you and your family! I am so excited for you all! And I can’t wait to follow your “farm story”! 🙂

Ashley - February 6, 2014 - 10:16 am

You just need to move north! Cherokee county! Some farm land but close enough to the city. We live here and couldnt imagine living anywhere else!:) new follower btw and a hopeful adoptive momma in the making:)