along this journey as we grow our family.
“For this child I have prayed…” 1 Samuel 1:27
Over the last 8 1/2 months, we have seen the Lord move mountains over and over to bring our son home to us quickly. We were told in the beginning it might be closer to Thanksgiving when he would be home–but mountains were moved time and time again–and here we have all summer to play, connect and just be together. I can’t explain the beautiful, sweet connection we have–but it is God’s grace and truly amazing. I will never forget when we were in Guangzhou at a restaurant–sitting there and our sweet Chinese waitress came over to our table–clapped her hands and picked up our son from his high chair. And I felt it. It was as if someone had just picked up my heart…and I thought, “I remember this–and I’ve felt it before…and it’s excruciating! Please put him back!” Immediately I remembered where I first felt this. It was in the recovery room after having Parker almost 9 years ago–and as the nurse picked him up–I felt my heart being pulled across the room and I held my breath. Something you can’t explain–but something so natural you aren’t prepared for it the first time it happens. But it feels like your very heart is being picked up–and you can’t really rest until that sweet new love is back in your arms. This isn’t how everyone feels as a new mom–but for me it was. And it took me back in that restaurant in Guangzhou.
I sat there–wondering…the same thing I did 9 years ago in that recovery bed…NOW what do I do?? Do I risk offending the nurse OR do I just do what I need to do?? I looked over and my sweet boy in the waitresses arms was bending over at the hip–and already knowing his body language I knew he wanted back…do I risk offending the waitress or do I just do what I need to do?? THIS is the question you will ask yourself OVER and OVER and OVER again as a mom. And by now–I knew the answer. “Xie. Xie. I need him back please.” She immediately handed him back–and she might have walked away thinking I was edgy–but one of the greatest things I have learned as a mom is we must parent our little loves from the moment they enter our world making decisions for what is best for them rather than to please others. We have to tune out the world–and tune in to our children…
So when we are the store or a restaurant…and they start throwing a fit–INSTEAD of reacting in a way to make it stop or in a way to make us look like a good mommy…we need to just tune in to what is really happening in the moment. The fit, the tears, the hard–it will always stop as we hear them and they feel heard. And instead of walls built up–connections will be made. And maybe it took five little sweet ones to finally get me where I hear better. But I will tell you this–I’m listening…and our connections are so sweet. It by no means is EASY–but it is truly so much easier and joyful and even sacred as I slow down to just be…to listen…to connect…and not worry about how crazy we might look to the world around us.
How thankful I am to have the support and love of so many friends and family…for a Sunday school that is bringing meals to us every other night so we can just huddle in as a family and be together–so when things like our air conditioner break just the week after getting home…it doesn’t seem like such of a big deal as other things are already being taken care of. We truly are so blessed. And I wish you could be a fly on our wall to see the dancing, the karaoke, my sweet boy’s EYES light UP…with simple things–like the first time he saw an umbrella open yesterday! I’m getting to see so much through his eyes right now–and it is a pure JOY. I feel so blessed that the Lord would bless us with 5 beautiful children. So thankful for all He has done…and seeing His faithfulness and His goodness over us right now–makes me want to continue to open my hands and walk wherever, however, whichever way He wants us to.
Thank you for praying for us and being there for us!