One sure way to know you are in the Lord’s will is when you follow the Lord and as you follow you realize you “get the gospel” in ways you never knew before. For me right now, it has been following the Lord in this journey to Isaac. Richard and I talk nightly about things that happened in our day–that are only “God explainable” and although it hasn’t made the most sense to the world as far as timing, finances, and what a normal human should be sane enough to handle–the Lord continues to tell us to trust Him. I have been blown away how the gospel of Jesus has come MORE ALIVE as we have followed Him in adoption. I get “being adopted in Christ” in a way I never would have before. My heart understands what it feels like and means to love someone…even be willing to die for someone…that hasn’t even seen you yet. Truly–it is living the gospel in a way I never thought possible. (Special note of humility;)…please hear me that I am NOT saying I am 100% living the gospel…because I fail and sin EVERY day—but He is full of mercy and grace and picks me back up–and says “Follow me” again and again. What I am trying to say—is that I believe as you follow Him you will experience the gospel more and more—and truly begin to be WOWed as you “get it”.
There have been SO many things that I have finally “gotten” since this journey began, and this week–today in fact–I was WOWed by another. In Romans 12, Paul is teaching on HOW to love. It must be sincere. It must run from evil. CLING to what is good. It should be DEVOTED. Unyielding. Unfailing. Supportive…encourageing. Honoring one another MORE THAN ourselves. (Man, I fail at this kind of love every day!) Not lacking in zeal…full of spiritual fevor…and full of serving the Lord. Being joyful in hope. Patient in hardship. And faithful to pray. Sharing with God’s people in need…and blessing and not curseing.
How I have seen love on this journey to Isaac! I have seen devotion from my brothers and sisters in Christ in love, support, encouragement and prayer. I have heard the cheering of the body of Christ. On hard days, I have felt the prayers. Oh that I could give this kind of love to you dear friends! Oh that we could be encouragers, prayer warriors and givers in times of need. The sweetest part of Isaac’s nursery to me is that my precious friends surprised me with gift certificates so I could also prepare my home for Isaac as we were quite surprised to get his referral when we did—and it was a miracle to have the payments we needed at the last minute. Our friends have loved on us and exemplied the love of Christ—and I have not only begun to “get the gospel” in new ways—but also seen it.
And today. Today…I got the gospel in a WOW way from my 4 year old. I have shared the ache in my heart with some—and in return I have gotten truth. “Wait on the Lord.” “Trust in His timing.” And indeed, these are truths. But there is a time for everything. My heart ACHES for Isaac. And I have been hard on myself feeling lack of trust and waiting on God. When I have heard scripture recited on waiting and trusting in my time of confessing my heart, it has made me feel worse…and I’ve cried in frustration that this part of the wait is just…HARD. And then today—I got it. I got the gospel in a new way!
We were all sitting at the kids table eating lunch and Laney looked up at the fireplace and said, “Mommy, what’s that picture over there” (It was a new picture of Isaac.) She ran over, looked at it and huffed, “AWWWWWW….Mommy, I just can’t take it! I want him home! When is he EVER going to get here??? It’s taking tooooo LONG!”
And instead of anxiety feeling my heart, instead of tears, instead of frustration—there was PEACE.
Someone. Else. Gets. It.
Someone. Else. Is. Identifying. With. Me.
Someone. Else. Understands.
And she may be 4. BUT…she is living the gospel in my life today.
She is Romans 12:15 “rejoicing with those that rejoice and mourning with those who mourn.”
Truly, I value and appreciates the truths of the gospel. But to look at a friend who just lost her mother and say, “You know she’s in a better place” just isn’t the same. To say to a friend whose husband just lost his job, “You know the Lord always provides to those who trust Him” just doesn’t make her feel better. And to say to a mommy who is ACHING and LONGING to get her son home “wait on the Lord”…it just doesn’t take the pit out of my stomach that won’t be gone until I hold him in my arms. Today Laney taught me an amazing truth because I am SOOOOO guilty of trying to say “the right thing” and “point people to truth”. Because, indeed, there is a time for everything—but some times we need to just rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn…to let them know they are not alone…and that we are all in this together.
Had we not experienced this ACHE—this part of the gospel I would have never “got”. So, whilie this aching is abolutely horrible—it is another thing that will be worth it. I share this with you only to offer insight on how to love on someone who may be going through a mountain or valley. Of course there is a time to point to truth—especially when someone is tangled in sin. But–there is also a sweet and special time to rejoice and mourn together—and now that I have experienced it from this end from Laney, other moms who are adopting or who have adopted and even from those who have not but some how get the longing—I would hate for anyone to miss the opportunity to really ask the Lord to help you “go there” with someone in their experience. Because as you mourn with them, indeed–it will make the rejoicing even sweeter. If you don’t know what to say—words to give them to bring them hope—you might be right where the gospel needs you to be…not offering motivation or insight—but instead of joining them where they are. I hope I can (2 Corinthians 1:4) comfort those with the same comfort as I have received from Laney and my friends who have ACHED with me. What a JOY it will be to REJOICE with them in a few weeks when I step off that airplane with him in my arms. Oh what a day that will be! And such a beautiful picture of one day when Christ finally brings us home!
Thank you Lou-bear for understanding…for aching with me…and showing me the gospel today. I love you—and I’m with you darlin’…I can’t wait to have him home!
P.S. Angie Walter—I just want to say you and Sandi Holman are my new bestfriends. Thank you for sacrificially loving on my son while you were there to get your own this past week and weekend. You have blessed rejoiced with me—and you have cried with me. Angie, you have truly ACHED with me…and you have ministered to my heart in a way I will never be able to describe. And in this—I only hope that I return the blessing when I go across the world to get Isaac. Thank you for shining the gospel on me in this way.