OK–it’s only 12:30pm…our big Wednesday only half over. So is my cup half full or half empty? (I’ll go ahead and apologize for the long post…it’s been one of those days!)
Today was my day to get my adoption physical. We have a precious MD who had volunteered to give Rich and I our physicals to cut down on costs—only I had to do a few seperate things at my doctor b/c I’m the lady of the house and our particular home study physicals require a few extra things that I didn’t quite want the MD at our church doing. So…I ventured out this a.m. for a 9:30 appointment–and Richard had agreed to help with Miss L and Baby F as they are both home with me on Wednesdays. The “plan” was to meet me at the doctor so I could painstakingly get through the portion of the physical that the MD at our church wouldn’t be doing. So…I have heard over and over that adoption isn’t for the faint of heart—I’m hanging in there…but today (the first part of it) has definitely felt like a test of whether or not we can add to our family. Have I passed??? Hmmm…I’ll let you faithful blog readers be the judge of that. So…for your entertainment—here’s a peak of our morning:
6:30 – Hubby is off to work for a big conference call at 7am. Ahhh…my helper is gone…
7:30 – Wake up call for P, L and F…today is P’s late start morning b/c of chapel. Shower. Get dressed. Everyone dressed and pressed. Out the door by 8:15.
8:25 – Oh no! Today is P’s share day at PreK. “Oh P—we have to cut out 3 things you like to eat!” Grab Southern Living. “P, don’t you love cookies like this? Oh…oh P—what about fries like these??? You love those…RIGHT?! No? Are you SURE? Ok, ok—P…what about this? You want a picture of cheezits? There isn’t one in this Southern Living Issue. You have to have cheezits?”
8:27 – Run to recycle bin–pull out empty box of cheezits…cut out picture of cheezits. Ok…we have 3 foods for Parker to share. Cookies. Fries (you DO like them P!) and Cheezits.
8:30 – Everyone buckled in van.
8:35 – Everyone waiting in van—mommy can’t find her wallet from yesterday’s craziness (had 3 sessions yesterday…just 3 b/c my 4th agreed to move to Thursday…had to take Rich’s truck to 7:30 one and babysitters to 11am one and my van to 3:30 one…WHERE DID I LEAVE MY WALLET?
8:40 – Still can’t find my wallet! Call Richard. “Did I leave my wallet in your truck? No? On no. Someone must have stole my wallet out of your truck. I know I left it in your truck. You are a last minute meeting at 9:30 – Phone cuts off. Didn’t charge iphone. Looks like I’m taking L and F to my doc appointment now.
8:45 – Gotta go so P isn’t late for 9am chapel. Van may have left tire marks on corner as I whipped out of neighborhood. “Is everyone buckled up?!”
8:59 – “Hurry Parker—just jump out here…yes 6 cars back…hurry before carpool is over”
9:10 – Looking for AT&T store so I can buy a iPhone car charger so I can call Rich back. Great. No wallet. No cell phone. Realizing I don’t have a $$$ to pay for my doctor appointment…no driver’s liceanse…no insurance card and no $ to get me out of the parking deck…2 kids going to the OB with me now that Rich can’t meet me…nice. No AT&T store. Wait…why am I looking for an AT&T store if I don’t have a wallet!
9:15 – Sitting in traffic on Hwy 400.
9:30 – Get to doc office. Open up back of van…NO STROLLER in back of van! Where is my stroller? Run in doc office with 3 year old holding my back pocket…11 month old on hip…and car seat in hand! Car seat? No stroller and need a place to put baby during my physical. EEK!
9:40 – 10 minutes late for appointment. Get on elevator. L:”Mommy can I push the number?” Me: Yes L, push 4. Too late. We’re 10 minutes late and we have to stop at the 1st, 2nd and 3rd floors first. Obviously we need to work on numbers.
9:45 – Ask to use checkin phone to call Rich…I need him to fax my insurance card, driver’s liceanse, and yes–I’m here for an adoption physical…thought I’d add more to my plate:)
10:00 – I get called back…with L, F and carseat.
10:15 – F in carseat…train L to feed F in dressing room so they both aren’t scarred for life from mommy’s physical. F screaming…applesauce all over the place…L loving playing mommy. Doc says “this is for an adoption physical….me: “yes…can’t you clearly see I need more children?” doc doesn’t know if I’m serious but laughs anyway.
10:25 – Miracle. Nurse pops in…hands me an American Express card and $20…”someone brought this by for you”. Was it Jesus or Richard? God bless my husband’s heart! My day offers hope. Frank still in carseat screaming…Laney is tired of playing mommy…doctor: “my husband’s partner just adopted from Ethiopia…but they had older children” Well, can’t you see I’m crazy…we thrive on crazy. We are crazy. Today isn’t normal. Don’t have my wallet. Don’t have my hubby sitter for 30 minutes as planned. Don’t have a stroller. But…I’m still smiling—so, yes, I must be the type that is crazy enough to have 3 under 5 and says “We should adopt!”
10:45 – Check out…Laney pushes the right buttons in the elevator this time to get to parking deck. Things are on the up and up…that 2 for 2 now.
11:00 – I have money to get out of parker deck! $15 back. Sweet. Dispite penny pinching to save, save, save…I think we need to treat ourselves to a little happy or two.
11:15 – STARBUCKS. BANANA WALNUT BREAD. I needed a pick-me-up. F is sleeping! Poor baby. L says she needs a pick-me-up too. Of course you do dear.
11:25 – Krispy Creme…donut with chocolate on top. Krispy Creme always makes things better.
11:40 – Spot AT&T store. Buy much needed car charger. Ahhhh…my phone back.
11:45 – We are actually early to carpool! Coffee, banana nut bread and donuts. AHHH! We survived! We’re 3 for 3 now. The sun is out. Fall is here. L is playing matching game on iPhone, Frank is in my lap clapping while I sing…ahhhhh….deep breathe.
12:00 – P hops in. Donut waiting in his seat. “WOW mommy! What’s this for?!” Don’t ask P! Oh if he only knew how crazy our morning had been since we dropped him off! “Eat and enjoy sweet boy…and sure…before lunch…today is a special day!”
Yes, this is a day in the life—maybe not typical…but just one of those days that we all have where we can feel defeated before it is half way over. There are so many things to do for our adoption and adding the overwhelming checklist on top of our already crazy schedules often feels daunting. I am reminded though that my life is not my own!!!
Galations 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live in faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” This life we live is NOT ours…when I became a believer I surrendered MY WILL to live MY LIFE the way I WANTED. Last night after I put baby F down I sat outside and for the first time in YEARS and read a few pages of my Southern Living magazine outside enjoying the Fall weather along with the sound of my almost 4 year old and 5 year old playing INDEPENDENTLY. “WOW,” I thought. “We could have stopped there…with 2 kids just a year apart…and this would have been what life would have been like.” Nice. I started dreaming and had to shake my head out of this fantasy of such a relaxed life…and remember…
My life IS NOT my own.
If I truly believe in eternity and in the living God, then I also believe I will have eternity to rest, dance and sing praise to my Creator. This life is short. Too short to not live “in faith in the Son of God”. There are 147,000,000 orphans. Too many for me to sit around reading my Southern Living and enjoying the sound of 2 children playing in the background. How can I stand before my Creator one day and answer for the 147,000,000 orphans in the world while I sat back and watched…or worse ignored it. What does it mean to be crucified with Christ? What does it mean to crucify your own will? What does it mean to live a life for Him, through Him, living as He would live?
And the even more miraculous part is…I DO NOT want to sit and read my Southern Living magazine. As tempting as that may sound…it would be short lived. What if instead I get to one day sit on my porch and watch children run around laughing that otherwise wouldn’t have a home or family to love them. And even more—what will it be like to have my adopted children in my home and to realize there were 146,999,999 left behind that will never play soccer, build a fort or even have a daily meal? My life is not my own…
Help me Lord to live as you would. To not get caught up in the things of this world or my own flesh. Help me not to choose the easy path…but the road less traveled. To trust you in the big things…like coming up with the cost of our adoption…all the way to the little things…like losing my wallet and how in the heck I’m gonna get out of the parking deck. And to laugh when I later find my wallet in Laney’s school bag. Yes Rich…I found it. In Laney’s school bag…*I* put it there when I picked her up in my babysitters car after my 2nd session…working extra to help pay for our adoption…and therefore much busier than ever. My life is not my own. He will carry us through…WHEN we are doing HIS will.
Mamma said there’d be days like this…and yes…even among crazy days and possibly an already crazy life…we are adopting. There will be crazy days no matter how many kids we have…and we aren’t gonna let crazy days or how crazy we may look be our meter for what we can handle or if we can open our home to grow…because it will not be by our strength, but through Him. We are gonna keep our main thing—the main thing—keep our eyes focused on Jesus the perfector of our faith…and continue to run this race with perserverance. We are going to adopt a PRECIOUS child…who I am literally dying to get matched with…fly across the world for…and welcome into our hearts and home FOREVER…and we are going to continue to hold our hands out remembering that our lives our not our own and saying “My life is not my own…what can I do for your glory…use our family for your glory.”
1:30pm. All 3 children are napping. I have my wallet. I have my stroller back in my van ready for our next outing. And we’re setting off for a dermatologist appointment for Laney for a checkup. Just a check up. Life is good—and my cup is officially half full:)