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Not always easy. And tonight is one of those—not easy…tired of waiting…this was fun but I’m ready for my baby now moments;). Slowly we have been creaping up on on our agency’s waitlist. We are unofficially #12 on the boys list…getting much closer to single digits—and I’m just getting anxious and ready. Bare with me friends while I just put myself back in the right place…with scripture.

Philippians 4:6…Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Psalms 139:23-24… Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way of everlasting. 

“I am waiting for the Lord, my soul is waiting for Him, and my hope is in His Word.” Psalms 130:5

“Jehovah is pleased with those fearing Him, with those waiting for His kindness.” Psalms 147:11

“When I was waiting quietly for the Lord, His heart was turned to me, and He gave ear to my cry.” Psalms 40:1

“Now may the God who gives comfort and strength in waiting make you of the same mind with one another in harmony with Christ Jesus…” Romans 15:5

“Love is never tired of waiting.”1 Corinthians 13:4

“So that you may not be slow in heart, but may take as your example those to whom God has given their heritage, because of their faith and their long waiting.” Hebrews 6:12

Dearest Babe,

Momma’s heart is longing tonight. And just like I couldn’t sleep often when I was pregnant with your siblings…tonight is one of those nights as I wait on you. It’s a miracle I guess that the Lord does in a momma’s heart! One night–I’ll be sitting on this same yellow couch…in the same still, quiet only YOU will be upstairs sleeping with the rest. I will be able to walk in your room too…pat you on the back as you sleep…and some times even rock you in the middle of the night. Your daddy and I dreamed tonight what you would look like…he wondered if you’d have curly hair and I laughed saying I bet you would. Then I imagine you running through our home…joining the chaos of our crazy little crew…and how my heart never knew it was missing anything until the Lord put that same mommy longing in my heart as he did for each of your siblings. YET…I must tell you–I have longed for you like no other. A momma shouldn’t confess things like that. But I must tell you—that is just how special you are!!! Again, another miracle in this momma’s heart. I was always patient in my 9 months of waiting because I knew it was best for them to stay the full term and when God had ’em ready–they’d come. I’m having a much harder time believing the same for you—as you’ve probably already been born. So, now this momma wants you home. I remember when I had to leave your brother at the hospital after he was born because he had respiratory problems. He had to stay in the NICU and although his stay was a short 5 days—they were the longest 5 days of my life. I felt like my heart was across town in the NICU…and really—it was just horrible. So, that’s the best description I’ve got for how I feel now. Only it’s been much longer than 5 days—and you are across the world. AND MY HEART ACHES. It’s around the world–and there’s absolutely nothing this momma can do to get you any faster…believe I did all the fancy feet work I could in record time;). BUT I have to remember. The Lord knew when the best time was for your siblings to come into our world—and He also knows the best time for YOU. My heart is being stretched—but I have to believe that it’s not the right time…YET. Your daddy assured me tonight not to fret because in a few months you would be in my arms–and I told him not to say such things because my heart can’t take it. Yep–you are one loved little bird alright. And I’m longing for the day I fly across the world and bring you home once and for all.

“Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young–a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.” Psalm 84:3


Kelley Brown - March 23, 2010 - 1:04 am

Oh Andrea, I totally understand the longing and aching heart right now. Sometimes I feel like it will consume me. I know we’ll be holding our children soon enough, but the wait is so hard. Praying that you hit single digits quickly. I can’t believe Ethiopia just added the 2nd trip!
Praying things will move quickly….

Megan - March 23, 2010 - 1:45 am

TEARS!!! But then again you have a habit of doing that to me.

Amy @ Filled With Praise - March 23, 2010 - 8:19 am

I think we are sharing the same heart right now because this is exactly how I feel. I have tried to explain it to others that are not in the process and they look at me like I am silly. However, the only way I can explain it is for them to think of one of their children being in another place on the other side of the world. They would stop at nothing to get to them because they long for them and want that child in their arms. That is how I feel. I know God has placed Elijah in our hearts and I want him in our home. I know you know exactly what I am talking about. Thank you for the verses. I have been focusing on those.

JonesEthiopia - March 23, 2010 - 8:24 am

Your words are definitely how I felt as I waited, too.

Renea - March 23, 2010 - 10:09 am

Still waiting with you! Much love girlfriend! sending virtual hugs ♥ Looking forward to seeing that little face!

Tiffini - March 23, 2010 - 10:38 am

I so understand the ache of waiting. It is harder for me than ever before. During our wait for referral, we didn’t know if it was boys, girls, or ages, so it wasn’t as hard. But, now that I know them, I can hardly stand this waiting. God is using it to refine me and realize that truly “Whom have I in heaven, but you, and besides You, I desire nothing on earth.” Ps. 73 I’m so thankful for His strength during the wait. Praying to hear of a court date today!

I’m praying for you in this wait. God will not be late in keeping His promise!

Katie Dunlap - March 23, 2010 - 10:41 am

Andrea, that was beautifully written. You are not alone in your longing. I’m praying for your family, including your sweet one in Ethiopia today.

Georgia - March 23, 2010 - 2:01 pm

Trying to dry my tears before my break is over at school and the kids come piling in. Andrea, would love for you to add me to your family blog. I read everyday and have missed seeing those beautiful children of yours. Saying a prayer for you & your family in the wait.

Melanie Strobel - March 23, 2010 - 10:21 pm

Andrea, your writing is exquisite and I feel the exact same way each night when I try and close my eyes. I think of HER constantly, believing that she is already born and waiting with an eager heart to know her, hold her and love her. I would love to continue to follow your family blog. I love hearing all about your sweet family. We are richly blessed and getting so close in this adoption journey. Peace to you. 🙂

[…] caring for me. And I couldn’t help but smile when I saw the verse laid on my heart written in a post before I ever knew my son’s name. I LOVE this verse for SO many reasons…and it truly applies to our weekend in more ways than […]