38–going on 39.
Spring cleaning last year just after we moved, he took bins of baby clothes to the Salvation Army. While some consider this a stamp of moving on to the next beautiful phase of motherhood, I did not. Instead I just thought after 10 years of motherhood, if we grow again baby clothes fashions have changed–we can use the clearing out for now–but the desires of this mother’s heart…and even my husband’s father’s heart…are to enjoy the next phase while keeping our hands completely open for more.
There are visions and experiences the Lord has given me…that haunt me–in such a holy way.
Five years ago, a few days after I held my son in Ethiopia I visited one of the first government orphanages he was in. There are two children in Bethzatha that I know the Lord spoke to me as I met them. One had been there 4 years and another 3 years. They were both handicapped and just lay there—day in and day out–being turned to keep bed sores at bay. I walked in the room and tried to sing Jesus Loves Me to them–but my voice cracked and I broke down in tears. The staff worker in the room came over and told me not to be sad and I just asked her, “Do they know they are loved? Do they know how much He loves them?”
She reassured me that they do–but do they??? I couldn’t stop asking myself that then…and now.
When you don’t know something–it can’t wreck your heart. But when you see her. And you know she’s real. When you have been given a mother’s heart. It isn’t within me to say, “I’m done. We’re good.”
But there’s more.
Because I’ve been given this beautiful thing called a mother’s heart. I have a different calling–to love His children. The children who already sleep in my home are His. But there’s more…and every little child–needs a mother’s heart to love them.
Healing is in His hands–and so often our hands are to be His. Help me Lord Jesus to open my hands to whatever you have for our family. Help us to trust you–not looking to the left or to the right…but simply UP…trusting the plans you have written for us.
Today we are studying about homeschool and weather. How you can be still–and observe what’s happening around you to understand and know what might happen next…so we are prepared. From the clouds, to the sky to even a caterpillar’s markings–all of these can foretell seasons and weather…so we are prepared. But you have to be still to know…to really know.
In Matthew 16 Jesus begins the chapter talking about how they tell the weather by looking at the sky–but some times we miss the clearest guidance of all. I love how He ends this chapter…
“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done.”
Lord help us to simply follow you…at all costs. You are good. We know that. We can trust you. And if it be your will for us to die to some of the comforts of this world so others may know and experience your love in deeper ways–may thy will be done. Help us to be still–to look for you…as the meteorologist looks to the clouds and slows down to carefully predict what the weather is doing…may we also slow down and look to you…to see what you might be doing and how you might be leading. We trust you Lord for your hand in our lives. Let us not look to the left or right or worry how family or friends might judge us–but rather live completely for you alone.
I wait with anticipation to see how the desires of this mother’s heart will line up with the desires of His heart. Trusting He is transforming our desires to line up with His good, pleasing and perfect will!
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” – Jim Elliot