We live in such a fast culture…waiting patiently for anything doesn’t seem to come natural. Through a crazy connection, I learned that the sweet one we are praying for isn’t available for adoption. Regardless of being a double orphan (both birthparents no longer living)–different countries have different rules…and the family member who relinquishes a child at an orphanage has the say in adoption status–even if it means growing up in an orphanage instead. Oh my heart.
Still, I don’t feel like we can just walk away–and He has laid this on our hearts for some purpose. His Word says that His ways are higher than our ways. I am to lay my heart before the Lord…be still in His presence…and wait patiently for Him to act.
How long Lord? (How many of you are in a place of waiting and want to ask this too?!) How long do we wait patiently before moving forward on the path we were pretty certain you had laid out for us? We don’t do very good waiting and being still in the grey do we? Alright, maybe I shouldn’t speak for you–but I sure don’t. BUT HE KNOWS ALREADY…and He longs for us to trust Him.
EVEN JOY—We even are to have JOY and worship…even in the grey…in the unknown. And really–I think He would want us instead of seeing this as confusing…to see it as exciting. (If it doesn’t FEEL exciting…it is okay…but it is a redflag that maybe our perspective is off.)
In the waiting…He wants us to just fall more in love with Him…through our trust in Him…and being patient on His best–on His will.
You know how when you are deeply in love with someone…you just can’t WAIT to see their next move. What they will do next. Isn’t this how the Lord wants us to look at Him???
Really–the grey should be exciting.
Even when you are so uncertain–you trust…
…and you know even if it’s not the exact what you’d have it all play out–deep down you really know because you love Him and He loves you right back…that what He will do…will ultimately bring YOU pleasure because it’s in His will.
His good, pleasing, perfect will.
In fact…He says in Isaiah you will be amazed. That you won’t even BELIEVE what He’s about to do–even if you were told.
As I sat here thinking about the twists and turns and tugs on my heart–I feel like a public service announcement, “We interupt this program for a period of waiting. This is only a test. Do not be alarmed. Carry on with joy, day to day life, looking to your Provider. Do not act without hearing from your service Provider first. Again–this is only a test. BEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP.”
Now, that’s usually when I change channels or turn the tv off. But…right now…I’m just supposed to wait.
So, we put ourselves out there creatively through things the Lord puts on our hearts…day by day…week by week…maybe even months…and we wait. (Something us adoption mommas learn to eventually do pretty well!)
And until then–life goes on in our waiting.
And our joy becomes worship to Him as He sees us trust Him.
And this family…we have so much wonderful to find joy in…even in this weekend. Thank you Lord for overflowing sweetness ahead. Family in town for a little reunion Friday night at our house. Saturday we’re going to the waterpark nearby (THANK YOU APRIL G at Legancy Lodge for sending our family tickets as a special treat for connecting after Africa!!! Mommy wouldn’t be splurging after the trip–but this is such a sweet gift and treat…THANK YOU! Pictures I’m sure to come!). Saturday night we are getting together with some of our dearest adoption family friends–the Johnson family. And then a dessert with our Zambia team to let everyone meet spouses and share pictures.
And Sunday…
GUESS WHAT SUNDAY IS???
A sweet little boy TURNS TWO!!! I can’t believe I will now have TWO 2 year olds running around my house!!! Sounds like T-R-O-U-B-L-E with a capital T!!! Happy birthday on Sunday to my precious little man…
a few things you must know…his most recent milestones…
Age 2 – Isaac does this…
…takes off his shirt 24-7
…says “chicken fingers” A LOT
…gets the most laughter when he combines those…nothing like seeing a little brown round belly when he takes off that shirt and then shouts “chicken fingers” (TOO FUNNY!)
…can name EVERY mode of transportation in his favorite truck book
…but his most favorite book of all is his “LIBA book!” Olivia forms a Band He even begs to sleep with it at night:)
…phrase he says the most “I DID IT!” and then claps for himself
…gives great big HUGS and sweet kisses! We are so thankful for our 4th child…our sweet son Isaac Temesgen!!!
Now…with a reminder of that belly…can you see why we think it’s so funny when he rips his little shirt off and goes a running around where ever we are?! Hope y’all have a great weekend ahead!!!
XOXO!
Andrea
by admin
this is SOOOO timely for me. Waiting on the Lord and not rushing through where he has me now… so SO what I need to be reminded of. THANK YOU!!
so sorry for the news you received. we just painted our girls room grey and as i was staring at it i was thinking how beautiful it is. not because of the starkness that white and black have, but because of the blending. so much blending happens in our lives during the grey. thanks for another poignant post.
enjoy your fun weekend with so many dear ones.
What a beautiful post, Andrea! I know this feeling of waiting on God so well…and when I can remember to be still before Him and leave the details up to Him, amazing things always happen. He is so good…always!
Today’s Jesus calling by Sarah young was this same verse…thanks for sharing it helped me to read this…
We’ve been in a holding pattern now for over 18 months…thank so much for the encouragement today! I know how disappointed you were hearing the news. So proud of your choice to find the joy in the situation and continue to listen for God’s leading!! We are praying alongside you continually for guidance. Sometimes waiting is easier too if you know you have a friend living through it with you!
Oh Andrea I am so sorry. I know how crushing it is to hear “not adoptable” yet orphaned. I just received the same news in the beginning of May and my heart still aches, still waits, still longs to hold these little girls that God showed me their face 11 years ago in a different country in the most remote part of a nomadic tribe. Yet the twins my heart tugs for look JUST like my little girl whom my heart was drawn to years ago. Hard part is, my husband despite us just moving, having a newborn on the way (which he is 3 weeks old now) and lots of other changes in our lives, was ready to move forward with the girls… in which he at other times had told me that he did not feel like it was our time to adopt. I know HE has not put this tug on either of our hearts for nothing. He is not cruel to allow us to fall in love just to rip them out of our arms. Although, some days I will admit it feels just like my miscarriages… as soon as i fell in love they got snatched from me. But when I really pull close to God I know that He has used, even the heartache in my life for His glory. I am praying for you today and when my heart aches for the girls He put on my heart, I will be praying for you and the one your heart is drawn to.
Love your JOY Andrea! I can’t wait to see what and how and WHO brings out of the grey. My heart broke when the Lord pulled us from Africa and showed us that a domestic infant adoption was where He would have us. It made NO sense. My heart screamed no! But 7 months ago today He placed 2 babies in our arms….and made all of “the rough places smooth.” Their story is one that I would have never imagined with a domestic adoption, and has opened us up to a future and is leading us down paths we never dreamed. We had to be out of the grey to praise Him for it…but now we do!!!!
Thanks for this precious reminder. We’re not in the grey right now, in fact, God’s call is so crystal clear right now. We know we are on the path He has called us on, but the wait is oh-so-hard! But their is joy and beauty in it too!
Andrea, I am so sorry for the news you got. So hard. There are so many thoughts and feelings…
And I also think you wrote this post for me, friend! I hope you have a wonderful weekend of celebrating God’s goodness with family and friends…Happy Birthday, Isaac!
I also get to the point where the heartache gets so intense that I want to rush in with both feet & run in the direction I think he is calling. However, this is when it is the most dangerous to run because we might run the wrong way, even if the cause is just. We NEED the wait, he loves the tears, he loves the heartfelt prayers, he loves that the pain of those in need breaks us down so low that we have no choice but to fall on our faces, pray, & beg for the answers. That SURRENDER is what pleases him. Then when we are all but broken down to nothing he begins to slowly reveal that the wait, the pain is what inspires us to BRING OTHERS ALONG WITH US. The pain we feel leaves us no choice but to CRY OUT to others to HELP SOMEONE, anyone…to be a VOICE for those who are too weak to cry out for help. Think of all of the people who cannot get Mumi’s story out of their hearts or their heads, so they had no choice either, they had to ACT…It’s all part of his plan…Praying for discernment & peace for you!
Girl, I hear you on the waiting! We have been there ever since my hubby’s eye diagnosis 2 1/2 yrs ago… knowing God is stripping us, calling us to do more for Him, watching others do amazing things, but it never being the time yet for us to act. I have been enjoying Alison’s blog posts on The Land Between book and if you have a Kindle, it was free – not sure if it still is? Praying for you, and thankful I’m not alone in the wait.
Your blog is always such an encouragement to me! Thank you for your timely reminder to wait patiently for the Lord to act. It is so neat to think that God already know the specific child(ren) He has for us.