I have so much on my heart to share—and I’ll try my best to keep it focused on our Exodus reading. The Lord is showing me more and more of Himself…oh His sweet grace to reveal more of Himself to me! Daily I have a deeper, sweeter fear—a bigger, more passionate love—more awe than I had before…and today—is another day of standing in amazement and respect of our great God! Today I am humbled how the Lord cares about the details of our life. But before I tell you “my story” I want to jot down some key verses from today’s reading.
25:2 “…you are to receive the offering from me from each man whose heart prompts him to give.”
Our hearts are PROMPTED to give! Praise Him, praise Him when your heart is prompted to give! It is the Lord who guides. It is the Lord who even hardens. Do you have a heart to give? Praise the Lord! Do you get frustrated when you see a need but others don’t give? Remember–the Israelites when they were hungry and what Moses said. It was not Moses they were frustrated at…but the Lord. The Lord will provide when He chooses and THROUGH He chooses. Wait on Him and remember that He is the one providing through His people. Pray and trust in Him to provide! He will lay on hearts that which He wills to use to fill His purposes. If He choses YOU to be apart of something by giving…PRAISE HIM!
26:33 “…the curtain will seperate the Holy Place from the Most Holy Place.”
The tabernacle was to be built with great detail by God’s instructions…all the way down to the Holy Place and the Most Holy Place…where sins would be forgiven and the high priest would enter. When Jesus died on the cross the tent would be torn…and the High Priest would become our Savior…making it no longer necessary for someone to pray on our behalf for our sin…we are invited through Christ to the MOST HOLY PLACE! Do I realize what a PRIVILEGE this is!!! Oh Lord, I feel so unworthy! What can wash away my sin–nothing but the blood of Jesus! What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus!
What I love most about these chapters–is that God provides a plan for all of His works. And the earthly tabernacle in these chapters mirror His heavenly one. Revelations mentions the brazen alter, the alter of incense, a throne, elders/priest, lamps, etc all in His tablernacle. This speaks to my soul as we are to pattern our lives for the BIG PICTURE–HEAVEN…and not for this world. WHICH brings me to just a slice of my time at the Kelly’s home in Tennessee. The Kelly’s have 11 children and 1 who is in heaven. With them, 4 are biological and 7 adopted. They are patterning their life after heaven—the calling of the LORD on their lives and so NOT of this world. Our time together was SO SWEET as we shared our hearts. Our lives when we live them SOLD OUT to the LORD will look COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than the world. They just will. Am I okay with that? I actually am getting there. I really am. And that makes me want to dance! (in comes mental picture of Andrea dancing in field with flowy skirt on with hands spread out and twirling in circles…is it just me or does anyone else imagine themselves doing that;)?!
Lately, the Lord has been stripping my life of things that I may cling to. He has been showing me though, in the process, that it is part of HIS plan. And this story may be so silly to you—but it means a lot to me…as the Lord has shown me today in THIS reading how He cares about the details. Before I had a chance to read, I checked my email and got this from a local friend:
Hope y’all enjoyed your trip and are unpacked! I just looked at your blog and saw that y’all were back(admittedly, I was trying to see what you had to say about our reading today…I’m trying to take it all in. SO many details!! But that’s what I decided is to be PRAISED!…That our God has such a vivid imagination and cares about the tiniest DETAILS! I love thinking about how much He knows and how many things he cares about! I love knowing that he cares SO MUCH about the details of our lives and knows His plans for them as well as He knows the plans for the ark/tabernacle/courtyard etc. INCREDIBLE!).
I had JUST had something pretty amazing happen—so GOD—so I just sat there laughing and shaking my head. OF COURSE God would have this happen on today’s beautiful reading. Today’s reading was saturated with DETAILS on how He wanted the tablernacle built. And today—my tabernacle is my heart…
For those of you who know me well–you know I don’t wear jewelry (besides my wedding band OR maybe the occasional earrings that my fashionable big sister gives me for Christmas or my birthday) and most of what I have is costume jewelry. Richard knows I don’t do jewelry and I don’t do flowers (I’m allergic) so his options for being romantic limit him to some seroius creativity. HOWEVER…Richard gave me a beautiful diamond necklace after I had a baby Frank which makes me nervous because I’m so forgetful…and I chose not to wear it because I’m afraid I’ll lose it. Well…there’s a special story behind that silly old necklace. And it has a bit of my flesh with it. I wanted it. I thought for my “last pregnancy” it would be special to have something that made me think of ALL THREE of my children. And I thought it would be neat if he bought a 3 circle diamond necklace. I felt worldly and selfish for wanting something like that—so I NEVER told him. Of course the Lord knew my thoughts and my heart…and you can imagine my surprise in the delivery room when Richard told me how much he loved me and said this was what he wanted to give me…
Each circle represented one of our children–and the children even loved it as they would tell me which circle was them. Okay, I know I may have lost some of you thinking “oh great—she’s trying to say the Lord wanted her to have that necklace”…hear me out. I’m totally not saying that. And honestly, I could care less if it were diamonds or cubic zirconia…but it was the thought and the sentiment that I really treasured. When I *did* wear it, I remembered my husband getting back on his knees in the delivery room…how my heart felt…how our love could have sent me over the edge right there (but I had an epidural keeping me calm) and how the Lord had blessed us. And of course it made me nervous too…because I’m just not a diamond girl. (Or so I thought.)
Recently, we traveled and I took that precious necklace with us. And I came back—without it. I wrestled with the feelings of losing something of “worldly value” and had to pray through my heart my feelings…truly to me it was like losing an engagement ring…so much sweetness behind it. The YUCK behind it though was the day I realized it didn’t come home with me and I couldn’t remember what in the WORLD happened to it. It was one of those days…6pm and the kids are all fussing…I was cooking and racking my brain WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE WITH IT? Then my sweet husband walks in the door and what is my welcome??? “Honey, please don’t EVER buy me anything expensive again! I can’t find that necklace and I wish it had just been cubic zirconia.” (Ahhh…good to see you too dear;) THIS WAS A HEART ISSUE. Was I upset over the sentiment or the cost?
I spent some time in prayer—and the Lord helped me through it until it was JUST about the sentiment. Really. There were feelings behind that silly old necklace—and I just had to let those go. Then I thought about the birth mother of our child. And immediately—I was humbled. HUMBLED. Here I am, lost a silly necklace, and I’m upset. This lady who is giving me her heart and soul…will forever lose more than sentiment. And there are MILLIONS out there in the same position. I felt the Lord lay something on my heart about that old necklace…and I told Him that I agreed that if I had the chance to meet her one day—I would tell her that we were going to raise our children TOGETHER. I needed her to pray for our children while I raised our children…yes, ours—mine would be hers and hers would be mine. I want her to know and understand that the Lord is leading both of us to do this TOGETHER…she will always be my child’s birth mother–and she will always be a big part of our lives. I want to assure her that Lord cares about the details of her child’s life as well as her life…and He will be BOTH OF OUR great provider in THIS LIFE!
I have thought here and there about that old necklace. But because I rested in the loss of sentiment…I got online and bought this one (the closest thing I could find) and YES…this one is cubic zirconia…to be my new reminder of what really matters…
It was only $30 and I now wear it more often and smile when I look at it…
AND THEN…I got that email in my inbox “God cares about the details”—JUST AS I UNPACKED…I felt the need to reach in a random pocket that I never use…and found the one I had lost. I laughed as I held that in my hand and read that email. Yes, I must agree—He cares about the smallest of details. And He wanted to make sure His tablernacle (my heart) was being built correctly. He wanted to teach me a few things…to feel just a SMALL, TEENY WEENY ITSY BITSY loss…and to slap me hard with wonder what a BIG ONE might actually feel like…I have no idea—and I am humbled. He wanted to test my heart—and then to show me how He cares even about the sentiment…and to have me confess my sin and then just honestly before Him tell Him what REALLY matters. And He wants to provide. Even in the details.
And just for the record—I think the cubic zirconia one is prettier. And I’ll smile when I wear it…thinking of His concern the tabernacle…our hearts.