Richard and I are slowly but surely getting things checked off our home study–we’re getting there…and this time–it has taken longer…because this time…we know what the cost really looks like.
This time–I’m surrendering more to Him…my fears…the unknowns…the hard stuff–because I know what it looks like on a much different level.
There is a cost. And the costs, for us, are really much too long to list here.
We had to learn how to parent differently. (Trust me–it has to be different for healing to happen.) We had to figure out how to continue in the same parenting strategies with our older kids while appearing to at first be very lenient for months on end with a new one who came home very scared and unsure of the new smells, people, environment. There was a cost in putting my other children to bed at night and giving that sacred, sweet time to my husband. There was a cost in the opinions of the outside world…others who knew nothing about international adoption…hurtful things being said by even people we loved. There were so many costs…many of which we had no idea that we would be making.
Our first adoption journey was so miraculous as we raced through every step and my heart KNEW I had a son that needed to come home…who needed his momma to rock him…and I couldn’t WAIT to get him home. This second journey is amazing because I know the cost on a different level. And just as my son was worth and is worth the cost…so is she.
How wise it is for us to do like Dr. Purvis’s challenges us to do when considering growing our family through adoption. Sure there are costs any time you grow your family, but I must be honest and say the costs are quite different in bringing home a 1 year old, 3 year old or even 13 year old from an institutionalized setting verses a wee, tiny one.
I will tell you–as you prepare…as you read…as you dive into books like some of my favorites on helping littles heal like “The Connected Child” or “Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child”–you will bit by bit be more prepared for the costs ahead. Each and every one…which I must tell you–IS SO WORTH IT!!!
Y’all don’t forget the Created for Care retreat sign up is THIS Thursday, September 1st beginning at 12:01am EST. The registration fee is $165 (must be paid at the time of registration through Paypal) and covers all of your food for the weekend, retreat materials and your t-shirt. For families that are unsure if they will be traveling that weekend–we will be able to give refunds until December 27th–1 month before the retreat. After that time, you can simply sell your spot to a friend or someone on the retreat wait list. More details to come. Visit www.createdforcare.org for more:)