Did I grab your attention with that title? I thought I might. Okay, you usually get funny Frank stories, crafts, Isaac updates and our daily craziness–but today I was reminded of something…and then refreshed with something else–so I just had to share.
No matter how old you are, every now and again you find yourself reminded that people are people…girls are girls…and truly it’s impossible to love others and put others first completely without the power of the Holy Spirit. And while the Holy Spirit is always stronger–some times we just don’t listen…as it can be easier and faster to just listen to the flesh. Some times I get a bit lost in my mommy/home world–changing diapers, wiping noses, singing songs, carpooling to preschool…and of course (you know me) scurrying through aisle with crazy kids at Hobby Lobby (you all know that’s my second home). In between those moments, I have the privilege and joy of interacting with some of the dearest mommies and friends who the Lord has amazingly brought into my life to encourage, love and do life with. While it’d be safe to stay in my own world, I also love meeting new friends and some times the Lord seems to drop down a gem…a kindred spirit that you feel you’ve known forever and He seems to always provide these at perfect seasons…doesn’t He?!
I’m going to be vulnerable for a moment because I think there are probably other moms out there that feel the same way I do at times–so I want to encourage you with the same encouragement I have received today. I know no other way to say it except to just be vulnerable and say it. A few years ago, I found myself all of the sudden because of my oldest ones ages mingling with a group of moms here and there…and at first it seemed we had everything in common. They were believers…our parenting seemed similar…and when we did run into them–our kids played sweetly together. Something strange though seemed to happen in my heart every time I was around them–I always left feeling bad…or even what I might say sad. Honestly, I just didn’t feel like I “fit”. And really–I didn’t. Ever feel that way?
I thought maybe I was hormonal at first. I mean, I was pregnant half the time OR nursing OR maybe I was just insecure because I’m sure I can be that too as we all can in some area of our lives. I kept it to myself at first writing it off as hormones, but then just started voicing my heart to my hubby to have another to bounce my heart’s feelings off of. If you know me–I’m anything BUT “girly”. I mean—I love ballets and such…not that kind of girly because I’m definitely that…but girly as in “you are my BEST friend” girly or “do you want to be in our club” girly. I love all of the friends the Lord has brought my way–no matter if for a life time or a season. I am also a pretty vulnerable person (if you can’t tell!) so I share my heart often openly with dear friends and there was no exception to this new fun group of moms. I couldn’t put my finger on it–but something was off…and while I have lots of different groups of friends, I always felt something different or interesting or odd or even lonely inside me when I was around this group. As time past and I opened up more, things would even be said to just remind me that I wasn’t in the “club”. Some of you just might know a group like this OR maybe you feel on the outside when around a certain group OR maybe you are on the inside and don’t even know it. My mind really red-flagged one day when one of the moms asked me how I got to be friends with someone in the group, and finished the conversation reminding me of how special their group was. Was it the mob? Was there something I didn’t know? Really…it was just a clique or as Wikipedia would say: an exclusive group of people that share the same interests…and regardless if you have the same interests—um…I don’t think just just anyone is invited.
People will always be tempted to find their identity in other things than the Lord…like their social lives, their friendships, their clubs or cliques, their stuff…even believers who are trying to trust God to be enough for them…
As believers it will be confusing and especially hard when other sisters and brothers in Christ seem to make you feel this way…you know–when you leave feeling worse and can’t put your finger on it…when you’ve been around gossip or cattiness or feel like you need to keep up but just can’t…
While you will want to run from crowds like these–and even not like them (I remember a pastor once saying “We are called to love everyone but we don’t have to like everyone”…I always want to embrace that one–but that isn’t scripture I’m afraid. Running isn’t what we are called to do as believers (although that is my first choice and something that I instintively and must confess some times do…as in the moment I want to say like Jenny in Forest Gump, “Dear God, make me a bird…so I can fly far…far, far away from here…” BUT that only works for awhile…
YES we are called to encourage one another…to edify one another…to build one another up…to love one another…
BUT when that doesn’t happen…do you avoid? Do you continue to love no matter what? You’ll have these experiences in your kids schools, even at church…and even in your own family. This Christmas will be FILLED with joy, laughter, fun, singing, anticipation…but there also be moments where things are hard for you. Maybe someone in your family doesn’t understand you…or says hurtful things. Maybe a friend doesn’t include you in something…or you pass a mom at the store that seems to be kind but every so cleverly says something that feels more like a poke or cut and leaves you standing there scratching your head wondering what that was supposed to mean…or maybe it’s something so small that is said but something about it–because it happens so often makes you feel lonely or like you just don’t fit. Instead of going cross-eyed (please don’t let anyone see that one)…turn to wisdom when your flesh wants to run…and let your heart be filled…let these penetrate your heart and remind you of how to RESPOND…And if you aren’t sure if maybe you could unknowingly be on the other end–reflect on who is regularly in your home…at your parties…in your outreach groups…how welcoming you are of others coming into your “group” if you have one…do you regularly see new faces coming in and staying around…do you have to get clearance from the others in your group before including others randomly…or at least feel like you need to run it by others…or if you actually have a “name” for your group…
Read these verses of wisdom and truth and let these penetrate your heart as well…and remember above all else to love others…life is just too short and too sweet not to.
Remember that HE is enough. He calls us to love no matter what. And while it may be wise to guard your heart and your family and not join the exclusive groups…never give up being kind and loving them…
Much love to you ALL…and I have a really fun announcement to make…a last minute Christmas happy that you need to know about:)
XOXO!
Andrea
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