Author Archives: admin Just a quick family update–because I rarely have time to update as we are chasing 5 littles! This weekend Cousin Emily got married–and Loo-bear was the flower girl. P-man and Frankie baby participated in the fun! AND Zeke and Isaac went off for the FIRST time together to Nana and Papa’s…Zeke’s FIRST weekend away since […] The church. The people. Community. Missions. Orphan Care. The poor. The world. All of these–require a key thing to do things right. It’s what Jesus came for. It’s what He died for. And it’s a single word. Relationship. It seems like every time I open my computer, Facebook or whatever–there’s another article being circulated how […] Andrea, thanks for writing this! Very encouraging and refreshing to see positive talk about the church. I find it to be true that all too often there’s too much talk and not enough action. It’s amazing that God’s work prevails despite anyone’s lack of involvement or disagreement – which is a testament in itself to God’s goodness! Praise God! Yes, yes, and YES!!! Thank you so much for sharing this. I am so weary of the judgment and negativity and finger pointing. This is so timely. I’m crying over the fact that someone took time to write this! Truth! What a breath of fresh air! Great job!!! Way to be bold. This is truth. We have been focusing too much on people’s issues and mistakes and when we do that, it takes our eyes off of Jesus. We are called to share his love, not point out everyone’s mistakes and try and fix them. This does nothing but cause hurt and like you said, fear. We are all human, and we will all fail from time to time. I believe it breaks Gods heart more than anything to see the church divided and see Christians focused on other Christians mistakes and trash. We all have some sort of trash that Jesus already paid the price for! . We need to get back to sharing His love and fixing our eyes on Him and not nitpicking others mistakes so much! This has been on my heart a lot lately as well. Great job! “I want to pick a fight because I want someone else’s suffering to matter more to me. I want to slug it out where I can make a meaningful difference. God says He wants us to battle injustice, anyone who gets distracted with the minutiae of this point or that opinion is tagging out of the real skirmish. God wants us to get some skin in the game and to help make a tangible difference.” – Bob Goff #lovedoes Amen. Thank you Andrea!! LOVE YOU!!! This means so much to me! I have been so discouraged lately with all the negativity towards the church and adoption. And, a small part of me wondered if I was doing the wrong thing (the enemy). This spoke so much truth and gave me so much encouragement that “yes”, God is for adoption! You are NOT crazy, you are RIGHT, sister! The enemy’s most successful tactic is to destroy the church from within! Way to preach TRUTH! Thank you for being a voice for so many! I have heard enough negative, unproductive, self righteous, attention seeking, chatter. So sad to see the enemy using believers to stifle the good works of their brothers and sisters are doing! Andrea, you have spoken so well of the Bride. We must never forget that the Church (even the ones we disagree with!) is who Jesus died for–the ones he is coming back for. I so appreciate how you are honoring His Bride, for I believe it is never in Jesus’ heart to dishonor the ones he loves, as is so common. Well done friend! YEAH! Standing and cheering… and some tears of celebration. Thank you, thank you. Thanks so much, Andrea, for this. When I read all the negativity that’s circulating, I wish people could come and see what God is doing where I work in Uganda. And everywhere the stories are repeated. He is the Redeemer, and He is at work redeeming His lost world, calling people from every nation to Himself, and using His imperfect church to do it. So exactly what I needed to hear! This is so encouraging to me! I wrote you an email about how I was fearful about adopting for the wrong reasons. Really, it was just the enemy putting people in my path to discourage me. I needed this today! <3 You nailed it with this post,Andrea. God is doing such good work through the Holy Spirit with you and your family. Saying ,Yes, My Lord…is action packed. One day years ago 20 or so , we got a call from David Hicks. He was watching 2 girls struggling using a pay phone . He pulled over to help them . They had suitcases with them . They were from Antigiua. They were legally here but clueless of how to cope with life in America. That one intersection was more cars than they had seen in their lifetime. Dave call me and and shared that these girls had no place to stay . He was going to his church to ask for anyone to give them a home to stay in until they got there feet on the ground. He wanted to know if we could put the girls in our home until the church responded. I VERY reluctantly said yes. I truly wished I had not picked up the phone (no caller ID’s ) Dave said , you and Doc have a big home and it sure would be a blessing …Mary and Dave had refugees staying in their home. I told Doc that night and assured him it was temporary.It ended up years and years that they lived with us . We sent both of them to nursing school ,they both got married. They also had other church friends of theirs move in . AT one time we had 5 Antiguan’s . They all had jobs . They lived with us for almost 10 years and one never left so she is going on 19 years. No rent is charged, they are family. You , Andrea , are such a cool person. You do it ,girl .  One year ago–on September 30, 2012…I sat down in the very chair I’m sitting in. It was late. And I was praying for children across the world. As I was scrolling down praying, I saw a picture of my son for the very first time. Full of pink. Full of preciousness. And my heart–oh I […] Love this story and the beautiful one God is continuing to write for your family. Sweet dreams mama!  I will never forget the first time it happened. We sat at the dinner table–and I could tell something was really off. It was a face of shame–not regret…not remorse…not repentance. Just shame. He was four. Oh to be able to go back to that sweet little season! (Thankful I still have 3 more still […] I can see how this would “work” with some children, in some situations, but it certainly must never be embarrassing for them. How sad that your son had to have this happen to him. I read your blog from afar often, but this is the first one that has prompted me to comment. Yes, yes, yes! I work with older children, high schoolers, and college students and the same is true as we grow! Of course there need to be consequences for actions, but our goal should never be simply behavior modification. I’m always looking to see what is the actual issue of the heart and how we can address that instead of the behavior. Thank you SO much for writing this. I have a first grader, who has this exact system in his class. I will never ask him again what color his was on that day. I can’t thank you enough. He was on yellow for the first time this week and was so ashamed. Now I know what to say to him if this ever happens again, and what to ask him after school each day. I love your blog! We just started the adoption process for a love in China. Can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for us. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have GOT it, girlfriend! I LOVE this post! Did you read my mind? I am jumping up and down…thank you! I feel so affirmed by this post – I am going to share it with some friends who need to hear this today! How wonderful you and and how great this blog is! LOVE! Have a great weekend! Wow. I too read your blog from afar and have never commented. My oldest child (now 16) spent the first 6-8 weeks of 1st grade “flipping his card” (similar to the stoplight). Each day I would ask — did you flip your card? Yes. Why? I don’t remember. Finally, I had a conference with the teacher. The minor infraction was not using the proper check-in system when he arrived at school (yes, she flipped his card over and over again even though he wasn’t changing behavior). Guess what? I simply reminded him every morning from then on to remember to check in. . . and he never flipped the card again. My daughter is a “rule-follower” and pleaser. When a teacher flips her card for a minor infraction, she carries it with her for weeks. To this day, she can tell you which teacher flipped her card and why. She lived in fear of ever flipping the card even though I told her I just didn’t care if she flipped her card because I knew she was doing her best to be kind and to follow instructions as best she could. I knew this system didn’t feel right, but now I know why. And, it’s a two way street. . . I needed to not be focused on the minor infraction but rather on my child’s heart. this is so well written! its so evident that this isn’t just how you parent but who you! its your heart! ever since i found your blog, years ago, i’ve always admired how you show your children love, how you teach them and how you’re silly with them too…children need that from their parents! you’re such an incredible woman of God and i want to thank you for all that you’ve taught me! Very timely and interesting post. I am in student teaching currently and see a lot of this stuff going on. I could go on and on and on about how harshly I see our sweet students treated. It truly breaks my heart. Not with all teacher, but certainly in the classroom I am in. But I also saw this in my daughter’s kindergarten class two years ago. She had a wonderful teacher and a wonderful experience BUT she is naturally a really good kid that wants to please and be obedient. So, I never had a problem with it! It is nice to see it from this perspective and I will definitely think twice before implementing this in my future classroom. Thanks! 🙂 Oh you touched on something that resonates strongly inside me as a mommy. My now 8 year old struggled with behavior in school starting in Kindergarten. if you knew her, you’d know that she was never purposefully misbehaving. We are know in the process of having her evaluated for possible disorders but I can tell you that she is a GOOD kid with a great heart. Repeated yellows did nothing but damage her self esteem and make me question myself as a parent. I became obsessed over what color she was instead of focusing on what good she did that day. Second grade didn’t have a color chart and I loved it. Third grade does again, however her teacher explained that a child rarely gets moved off of green that it’s there more as a motivator that a punative measure. I am so thankful for having read this post – it reinforced what my husband and I have been saying about our kindergartner. He has been working SO hard at school to stay on green – and then coming home and behaving like this child we have never met before. So many talks about looking at our hearts and seeing the root for the fruit of our lives and how the inside condition matters more than the outside performance. Thanks for sharing. Hi! I’ve read your blog for a long time and enjoy your writing so much. Thank you for sharing your family and your adoption stories with us. On this blog post I whole heartedly agree with your thoughts on parenting and I often appreciate your reminders to care for our children’s hearts first. However I do not think it is inappropriate that our schools have systems for behavioral consequences (at the elementary level and above, I’ve never heard of this in a preschool). If my first grader disrespects his teacher or breaks a rule, I like that there is a ‘wordly’ consequence. I do want to help walk through the repentance with him at a heart level. But I think it is important for children to learn that their actions have consequences- for as a grown up they will be accountable to following the laws of our country. I want my child to understand that while his reunion with the Lord is of most importance, he will still face fines or jail time for breaking the law. Mary! I’m in COMPLETE agreement with you sister!! This blog post is about PRESCHOOL…our sweet loves are TOO young to understand the consequences and just focus on the color. OF COURSE there needs to be other consequences for elementary, middle and high school kiddos–but this post is about preschool:). SPEAKING OF–JUST yesterday my Isaac was upset b/c he has stayed on GREEN all year! He said he doesn’t like not getting to move his name like the other children. He wants a turn on yellow and red TOO. My oldest son told him he could tell him some tricks to get on yellow or red;). Oh no! Not quite what they were going for I think. BUT it just shows you that it’s so much better to focus the heart than systems for preschoolers b/c their little brains will only focus on the systems. And obviously for some–they might be motivated in the wrong ways. I had to tell the teacher that Isaac is itching to get to move his to yellow or red–so could they consider moving it one day for a small reason even if it doesn’t merit it by their standards so he doesn’t try to get there on his own;) I am a preschool teacher and I could not agree more with you! In my classroom, we use red, yellow and green faces. Green-happy Red-sad etc. BUT my students use it each morning to evaluate how they are feeling. They are in control. At the top, it says “how are you feeling?” Breaks my heart that your little one was so upset. Thanks for sharing…as a teacher this was great to read. Today will probably always be documented as THAT day for our family. It was a do-over to say the least. And for that reason alone–this mom just has to document it;). Because if you only document the beautiful ones–well…it’s just not real–and this was one day I hope to look back on and laugh at. […] |
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by admin
Wow….I am impressed at your ability to control your emotions when your little guy said that about his little brother! I’d have been blubbering all over the place!! Haha!!
We are working on bringing a little girl, Haoren, home from China. We have just started the process but have picked her out. We’ve been accepted by our agency and are working on getting our preliminary paperwork to China for their ok to adopt this special needs little sweetheart. We have adopted before…a little boy from an interrupted adoption. We also have a BUNCH of big kids! By the way, thank you for the Chinese cheat sheet! It will come in handy!! Blessings, Beth