I was cleaning the basement today. A for REAL clean. Dumping all the cubbies upside down–sitting there with two garbage bags–trash and give away…and tossing the very few keep things back in each cubby. And smiling here and there knowing that tomorrow it will all be messy again.
And then it happened.
All over again.
Longing for more. For the next thing. Not even knowing what the next thing is.
Or is it just me?
And then my mind drifted back as my heart started singing a song.
She sat beside me with her guitar in hand strumming and singing. We were a world away–and she was the only friend who spoke English–the only other American girl. And we best learn to be friends. And even sing together. We had taken a year off to do mission work across the world in East Asia, and while it seemed exciting–after months past I began to long for the familiar. I hadn’t seen my parents, family or friends for months…and with a year ahead before seeing them again–I felt so alone.
“Sing with me,” she said.
Months in a tight space–doing missions together–our personalities being night and day. I did NOT want to sing. I did not want to sing with her. Could this be real? What had happened to my heart? Not wanting to sound rude or pouty or unkind. I sang. I felt awkward–unauthentic…and I really didn’t know the words. I remember kneeling over, closing my eyes and singing quietly–and wondering if the words would really be true for me that year.
Weeks passed and then months…and as they passed–that same song would be played. Over and over and over again. The words of that hymn were soon written on my heart. And this friend–was now one of my best friends as we learned to seek and be satisfied in Him alone…across the world…where there was little material possession or activities or tv programs in our language…or really anything in our language for that matter.
She would stop playing the guitar half way through the song now and our voices harmonized. It was beautiful, authentic and worshipful. We were being satisfied by our Creator, our Sustainer…our Great Provider.
I ran upstairs to see if I could find the song…to see if I could find someone who sounded like the version we had snuck in country, one where missionaries were not allowed, to listen on our cd player. And it took me back. (turn off music at bottom right before playing)
As I listened–I was reminded that our feelings–just like history–repeat itself. As long as we are in this world, we will be tempted to look, wonder or desire the “next thing”…something more…something better. But if the longing isn’t Jesus–the longing will always be there.
There will be days we struggle. Can we really be still? Can we stay right where we are–and allow Him to satisfy us right where He has us?? I know that He wants to.
I am so thankful that He has sought me and found me and brought me to Himself. He wants to satisfy ALL our longings. The question is–can I be still and allow Him to fill all my longings?
May you be reminded of Him when feelings of longing come into your heart…may you feel His presence as you slow down and wait upon Him to fill them and meet you where you are…and may you be filled with His glory and JOY as you walk forward being filled with His Spirit.
Blessings to you this weekend…
andrea
by admin
Needed to hear this. Thanks for sharing!
Beautiful! May we be satisfied by HIM ALONE!!
beautiful and exactly what I needed to read today! Thank you friend!
Thanks for speaking truth to my heart. I’m always longing for the next things…and so often Jesus isn’t on that list. Praying for a real change of heart.
The last few years of my husband’s life before he got so ill, he would say, “I just know that God has something more for me, but I don’t know what it is.” Little did he know that that “next thing” was heaven.
I needed this Andrea…i’m longing to adopt again but God is working in us to help us become good stewards of our money and pay off our medical debt and loan. we are taking the dave ramsey financial peace course and learning so much. I want to adopt and so does jim so badly, from uganda right now but I realize unless God shows us a different way and gives us the go ahead and peace about doing it right now, I realize He may be wanting us to pay off our debt first which we hope to have done by the end of 2012. Anyways, i dont know the future or when exactly He will have us adopt but my heart is aching so badly for NOW! So thanks for this reminder to just rest in Him and have him guide us and to be filled with Him and His joy right where we are!