The Young Family Farm »

Okay–I really do have to play-by-play this one with the clock again because…it was FULL…and it’ll make you laugh–cause it really is making me smile sitting here realizing it ALL happened today. Wow.

7:30 a.m. – “Mom, can I wake Isaac up? Can I make some pancakes?” That’s what I woke up too–and with Rico Suave across the country–I just had to smile. NO and NO. Up and at ’em!

8:00 a.m. – Packing lunches for P and L’s camp. Threw clothes on babies. Fed all 4 littles and Momma…Coffeed up.

8:45 a.m. – Held my breath…time to wake up T–and it’s never fun waking a teenager at 8:45am. BUT with Rico Suave out of town and 2 that need to be at camp by 9am–rise and shine sweet love. “NO! NO!” she told me:) Oh yes, yes–Parker and Laney have camp. Where are you translator app??? Translate this in Russian, “Hurry! Hurry! We are going to the bakery to get you a treat!” Ahhhh…that worked:)

9:00 a.m. – Drop Parker off at soccer camp. “Mom. I forgot my ball.” Drive home. Get ball. Return to soccer camp. Deliver ball.

9:25 a.m. – Drop Laney off at Celebrate Summer camp at church.

Drive to French bakery. Pass an old African American man standing on the side of the street in his boxers, holding a briefcase looking lost. Prayed for him. Felt like I should help him. But how to you translate THAT? Lord, if you want us to help him–I pray you would keep Him safe and that he would still be there on our way home from the bakery. Arrive at French bakery. Just because it’s European doesn’t mean she like. Meat lover not sweet lover. Pull out of French bakery empty handed. Drive back down highway–old man in his boxers still there. Translate over iPhone app that her meat filled baguette will have to wait–we need to care for this man. U-turn action. Pulled up and had a great conversation with 90 year old African American man in his boxers. Help came for him–we touched a heart. He thanked us for caring. I typed in iPhone app what just happened. No facial expression change–but just reminded myself we are to live and trust the Lord to do the rest in this precious heart. Now…off to Starbucks for some meat filled breakfast action to make her feel loved…

10:00 a.m. – Ordered a Berry Hibiscus drink for the princess and a meat filled English muffin. Score. She is happy:).

10:30 a.m. – Back home…just babes and T. Encouraged her to read. Quiet is good for what I knew was going to be an action filled day ahead. And all momma’s chores have been called aside since our T arrived–so I swept, started laundry, cleaned as fast as I could while the babes played and T listened to her MP3 music…singing for the neighbors to hear…JOY…happy that she is happy…but JOY is more than happy…JOY is peace even when things are hard. The JOY of the Lord is my strength.

11:00 a.m. – T comes in and wants to know when she’s going swimming. I try to type it in on my iPhone app–and hand it to her…drop iPhone as I’m passing it to princess. It falls on brick kitchen floor and SHATTERS in a million pieces. Our means of communicating while we are on the go…is now GONE. Gone. Gone. Gone. Oh glory. Rich is out of town…now what?

11:30 a.m. – Load up kids to go pick up P from soccer camp.

12:00 p.m. – Run into my friend Addie at soccer camp. She meets T. Yay! Love when others get to meet my sweet girl. Now…off to meet another New Horizons mom—pecking on broken cell phone that barely works and is cutting my finger while I try to find Becky’s number to tell her we are on our way. Thankful T has a play date at the city pool this afternoon with Russian speaking friends / another hosting family.

12:45 p.m. – Drop T off with other hosting family at pool. While I had HOPED to have just some time with my littles and to rest, rest, rest…I need to get my iPhone fixed before T returns at 4pm so we can communicate–so I need this sucker fixed…and fast…like by 4pm. What. Are. The. Chances?!

1:20 p.m. – Kids are starving but we gotta get a reservation at Apple store. Race through Northpoint Mall. Realize I really need a stroller. Find paid double stroller thing–see it’s $5 to RENT a double stroller. I need smooth today–so I put a $10 bill in. It gives me $1 in quarters back. FOR REAL??? I just paid $9 to RENT a stroller??? Oh well. I’m desperate. Race to Apple store.

“Ma’am–if you need a reservation you need to go see Bill in the blue shirt.”

“Hi Bill. I’m Andrea. And I’m desperate. I need this iPhone repaired and fixed and back in my hand BEFORE 2:30 p.m. because I have to pick up my daughter from camp at 3pm and my host child from Ukraine will be home at 4pm…is it possible?????”

“Lemme look ma’am. Let’s seeeeeee. It looks like the first opening we have is for 3pm. Will that work for you?”

“Okay. Here’s the deal. You see these two little guys? They are missing there naps. And I really need to be OUT of here by 2:30pm–no later. I know that’s pushing it and it might be impossible–but I’m going to stand right here–x marks the spot–and they might get fussy–but with my husband out of town and my desperate need to have Russian translated on my phone–I can’t leave until it’s done. So I’m going to go ahead and apologize in advance for their fussiness and tears–and any scene these boys might cause. But yes–go ahead and put us down. BUT if there is a random cancellation please let me know–Okay?”

“Oh ma’am. Look’a here! What a coincidence! It looks as if we have an opening at 2:30pm!”

(Still…standing in the Apple store for 1 hour–not my idea of fun.)

“How much will this cost by the way???”

“$100 to repair the glass or $150 for a new phone.”

YIKES.

In comes random man who was laughing and listening to me chatter away…

“Ma’am–I overheard you talking–and I have an electronic business in Duluth about 30 minutes away. I’ll be leaving here shortly and it’ll take me about 20 minutes to get there. If you want to come there in about 30 minutes you can drop off your phone and it will take 30 minutes to repair–and it will only be $40.”

Hmmmmm…sounds shady.

But I’m desperate. Weigh the timing. Weigh the cost. Weigh the commute.

“Sooooo…you are telling me that it’ll take me 20 minutes to get there–you’re leaving in 10–and it’ll just take your people 30 minutes to fix? And for $40??”

“Yes ma’am.”

Still sounds shady.

“Alright. But clearly you can see I’m desperate, crazy or both–and I don’t have 30 minutes to spare. Gimme the directions–and I’m going to jot them down on the receipt. Instead of my standing around waiting for you to fix my phone–I’m going to totally trust you–give it to you now–take my kids up stairs for lunch, to ride the carousel and then to pick out a treat at the Lego store…because we all need pick-me-ups at our house this week…THEN I’ll drive to Duluth–get my phone…and pray for a miracle that my daughter won’t be stranded waiting for me at 3pm. How does that sound?”

“You are going to just give me your phone ma’am?”

“I’m desperate here–and yes…for some reason I’m crazy enough to trust you. But to be honest–I have nothing confidential on that bad boy unless you want to see my latest Facebook status…you won’t get much else off that one.”

Man leave laughing and shaking his head. Hope he’s honest–because my life is too crazy for crooks.

1:45 p.m. – Lego store. Tell the boys if they can each find ONE thing that is under $7 then it’s theirs. They are so happy. Lego Duplo race care for Isaac. Ninjago for Parker and white warrior man for Frank. Golden. I came THIS close to buying a Lego Chewbacca keychain just because he makes me laugh for some reason–I decided it was a splurge and resisted;)

2:00 p.m. – Sbarro pizza + ranch dip + chocolate milk. They loved it. I told them they would–and they did. The boys needed this date afternoon with momma. Thankful. And then–the carousel. Frank got the horse. Parker got a tiger. And ITY got a frog that he panicked on once the carousel began. Love my baby boy…every inch of ’em.

2:20 p.m. – Oh stink. It’s later than I hoped. Need to pick up Loo at 3pm. Need to be at home by 4pm for T. Need to be at dear friends birthday for her son at 5pm. I needed to get phone now to translate–but my sweet girl?? And I had NO PHONE…some random man in Duluth had it. WHAT DO I DO?? I prayed–Lord…I need to be able to communicate so I’m going to trust you to provide a friend to pick up Laney. Here we go…please provide. I trust you!

2:45 p.m. – Can’t find the electronic store. Was I just scammed? No-I really don’t think so. Trying to drive while looking at scribbling directions on receipt. Drive further…and further…and further…SCORE! I see it! Yay! Walk in store–my phone is in pieces. Now my Loo’s camp is 30 minutes away–only my phone is in pieces and I surely don’t have the ones I need memorized. REST. TRUST. WAIT. 15 minutes later–at 3pm my phone is together again. Oh my…heart is hoping…

3:00 p.m. – Quickly calling all my friends whose kids were in same camp. Laura answered! AND she’s still there! And she can get her!! SWEET! I’ll be there in 30 minutes and told her I’d pick her up at her house–then I’d be home by 4pm…just in time for T…and my phone is FIXED so we can translate!!!! Yay!

3:30 p.m. – Pick Laney up–talk to my mom on the phone…therapy for this mom’s heart. Love her.

4:00 p.m. – Host mom who has T calls to let me know they are in my driveway. RUSH home–T is happy…I got a hug!

4:30 p.m. – Shower. Get ready. And go…

5:00 pm. – Head to Target to get 2 year old present…because momma doesn’t have time to think ahead. Get to Target…it starts POURING. DOWN. RAIN. In normal conditions I could leave my 15 year old in the car with my 3 littles and run in for a gift. Under these conditions–it’s not possible. Pull OUT of Target–and drive to my friends house. Drop off littles. Me and T return to Target. Buy really cool Thomas the Train track and train set. Excited because Isaac told me what baby William needed and I found it:)

5:30 p.m. – Arrive at Denton’s for our weekly “Dinner at the Dentons”. Princess T is done–shuts down. They got to meet her for the first time…but she goes to their couch and doesn’t want to talk to anyone…oh no. Princess starts fussing at me in Russian. Call Ukrainian translator–she tells me to just have dinner with our friends and to let T stay in other room and cool off. Oh my heart. I don’t like this. I long for her to laugh and want to just be with us…sad she is so sad. Her weight is heavy…makes me sad.

6:00 p.m. – Dinner and birthday songs…fun for all (except sweet T…too much for our princess).

7:00 p.m. – Home again…home again…jiggity jig. Princess T was tired and went straight to bed. Isaac went down just after. And Loo bear and I finished a Veggie Tales that Rebecca let her borrow while playing at Mrs.Laura’s.

Another FULL day…and all were in bed by 8pm…even princess T. Flying solo for a couple of days…and feeling it tonight. Off to crash myself after a crazy day. Just talked to Richard and told him I felt like I was living in a crazy movie. Every day is so wild…and this momma is just thankful she has a translator back. Told Princess T I really want her to learn English and practice it–but she told me NO…so I’m thankful we have a way to communicate again.

And THIS–this is actually a good day–some what of a normal day. And the JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH!

…to believe what happens in a day. This one I have to document for my own memory. Because it was absolutely crazy. A roller coaster of crazy, sweet, awful and wonderful–all wrapped up in one. My Created for Care retreat planning momma friends got to see some of our crazy tonight. At some moments they were literally jaw-dropped in disbelief (it really is like nothing you can imagine–you’d HAVE to be a fly on our wall) but after my littles went to bed they both understood how I could actually come up with good, sweet parts to write about and remember.

Before I go further–let me say this. 1, 3 and 5 year old orphans–oh my…they can be easy to love. I brought home a little guy from orphan to son who was just turning 1–he slapped me as I rocked him each night–but he was still so lovable. I saw his pain and could understand the trauma his little heart had endured. Patience and understanding wasn’t always easy–but truly…it didn’t come close to this. Because with this–you multiply 15 more years of hurt, trauma, loss…15 years of being told you are worthless…you have no one. And at some point–it becomes easier to LIVE INTO being rejected–to go ahead and as quickly as you can disappoint someone on purpose so you don’t have to fear rejection again…and again…and again. I’ll be honest–I thought I knew what I was getting into with hosting a 15 year old, but now I admit I’m clueless–and this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. Some may have easier experiences, but every child has different layers–and some allow themselves to be loved.

Our day started…okay. I signed my older two bugs up for camp this week AND I got a babysitter today to stay with the babes so I could focus on Princess T. She needs a lot of attention, so after we dropped the big kids off and my sitter whisked the babes away–I watched T ride her bike. She was still upset about yesterday when we had to set some new family rules (nothing big–you know…just practical things–like no more Spanish soap operas or staying up until 1am…both of those I can’t roll with). Rico Suave and I really are the most laid back couple in America–but not to our princess…we are a bit unreasonable;).

By 9am we had already put in our FIRST call for translation help to my dear friend Susan Hillis. Susan came to the rescue–and Princess T also told her to tell me she wanted me to buy her more Russian books. She has 3 that she hasn’t read yet–but she wants more. After we hung up, I headed to “google translate” to tell her I would buy her another book when she finished the Russian translation of “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe”. She said she like it “so-so”…SO I took some time to type in and explain to her how to make the book more exciting…by recognizing who each of the characters represented as she read. Aslan being Jesus, the children each representing different type of people here…that seemed to spark her eye a bit. Hoping…

I thought I’d take her on a fun trip to the store because she loves the store–but before going we hit “google translate” so there would be no surprises. She doesn’t do well at all with “no”. It can cause a day of pouting. So–I told her before we left she could choose 3 things at Trader Joes while we shopped. She chose apples, grapes and clementines. She got upset on the pasta aisle so I had to call the Russian translator to help us. Our problem there was…Trader Joes doesn’t carry Ramen noodles. (You know Ramen noodles are this health momma’s worst nightmare–but I want to keep calm and carry on–so bring them on.) I had to get the translator to explain to her when we were done at Trader Joe’s we could go to another store to get the ones she wanted. Her pouting and fit quickly changed to humming and singing. If she gets her way she hums and sings–if she doesn’t…there’s immediate pouting and stink eyes. And it’s amazing how fast it turns…like a roller coaster of emotion that I’ve never experienced. Truly a tender heart…that is the most fragile thing I’ve ever had the opportunity to influence. The real trick is when the children are around. They are confused by the pouts and the fits and the manipulation…and they don’t understand the hurt and pain behind it all. Everyone at our house now has new behaviors that we are having to address and work through…and as difficult as it is I know and believe that it will be…it just has to be…worth it.

We hoped in the car after Trader Joes and made a special trip just to Publix for the noodles. No thank yous–just humming…full of joy. I am learning to love without expectation of anything returned. To pour in to someone too hurt to care. To give and give and give some more where entitlement is. And I wish it was easy–but if you saw deep in my heart…you would see my constant struggle to want to parent the way I parent my others–but I can’t. Because they have a past of constant nurture–and if I put my foot down…her guard would stay up and our summer would be spent being ignored, getting huffed at and getting the stink eye.

The orphan can be hard to love. The 1, 3 and 5 year old orphan for some reason is easier to overlook their tantrums because they seem more age appropriate. But the 10, 15 or even 35 year old orphan…we unrealistically expect something more out of yet they come with many more layers of pain and heartache. For many they have an emotional age of when they last experienced security and love–yet when they act like a 3 year old and they are 30 we forget to look deeper and give them what they really need the most.

This is harder than I thought.

After Publix, we came home to unload the groceries and fix lunches. I’m gluten free, and I totally let it go last week that the stinker has found favor with all my special gluten-free breads and stuff (you KNOW the real stuff is better and gluten free is so expensive). I selfishly thought about hiding my gluten-free stuff and then I thought I should just get over it–but then I decided to call the translator and get her to explain that I had to eat gluten free…and oh my–that just got complicated. It’s the LITTLE things that are frustrating…and I know it seems silly but if you have special allergy or diet restrictions and you are caring for 5 kids–having to go to BACK to the special health store to get more of something every day that used to last 2 weeks can make you crazy. I had the great idea I’d explain to the Russian translator what gluten was–and I think it was confusing…and I am choosing my silly little battles. It’s real life over here people…I should have just hid the bread;). The real crazy thing is how crazy my life was BEFORE–and now I spent 30 minute of my day having someone translate about bread.

After THAT–I either broke out in hives from added stress or because I stuffed my face with regular crackers;)…so I had to explain on “google translate” that we needed to go to the allergist and get shots. THAT was interesting. I tried to explain I had Lyme disease all last year and my immune system got shot and I developed lots of different allergies. She jumped 2 feet away from me as she was reading over my shoulder:) HA! I think she thought I might be contagious. So we headed just the two of us for my shots and she stood there wide-eyed as the nurse gave me shots in both arms. I thought just maybe that would give her a little compassion toward me too. Or…maybe not;). Expect nothing–just love…and more love. We had to sit and wait 30 minutes for the nurse to check my arms before leaving–so I decided to make her day and call Papa (my dad). She adores him! She went from frown to smiles again—and after I was cleared we scooted to pick up the older two at their camps.

As SOON as we got home, she asked to go swimming. I said it’d have to wait–so back to pouting the story goes. I explained over my side kick “google translate” (we have to type EVERYTHING and then translate it) that we needed to first cook meals for two families that were coming up for dinner–they are thinking about selling their house and moving to Africa to serve the children there–and we would be going to a friend’s house for dinner. I shared how we can’t go to museums and the pool EVERY day–and that’s not really how we live. We must serve others FIRST–and then we come second. Not only was this impossible to understand–it was frustrating. It’s the book “When Helping Hurts”…and as much as I want to pour, pour, pour…I can’t teach my princess that we get whatever we want, whenever we want and that kids in America get Disney every day. It was such a neat moment because Frank, my 3 year old, was visibly in front of us doing his chore–and I pointed out how Frank must do chores to serve our family and that we all have to work together as different body parts to work well. But if you grow up in an orphanage–you have had to fight for every single thing you have ever gotten…and thinking of others is so out of your realm of thinking…so much so–it was frustrating. I still coaxed the princess to help me cook–and I taught her some rules of cooking (like when you stick your finger in the brownie batter and lick it–you must always wash your hands before cooking anymore;).

We had some sweet cooking bonding going on…until she looked at the clock and realized we might not get to swim today. I made a phone call–and then told her the friend’s house we were taking the meals to and eating with has a pool…so the humming starting and she ran up stairs and put on her swim suit…happy! Roller coaster ride from moment to moment. Rico Suave came home early, and we all loaded up–but I asked Rich to ride separately just in case a break down happened…thankful we did that. We lasted not quite an hour at their house–so while 3 other couples enjoyed food and fellowship–Princess T and I had to leave early. They were swimming in the pool and Frankie baby…being a 3 year old tends to splash when he swims. I was watching from above and she didn’t realize it and she was drilling him with a water gun so I leaned over and asked her to stop. I went back in to check on Isaac and asked Rich to watch them for a bit. When Rich got there Parker and Frank were getting drilled with a water gun in their eyes–something we don’t do–so Richard asked our princess to stop…and from there everything went south. We had to call the translator and there were lots and lots and lots of tears. Rico stayed with the kids and friends–momma was super bummed because they were friends who had driven all the way from Tuscaloosa to visit–but momma bird needed to take little bird T home and let her unwind. We called another translator friend to walk us through everything–and believe it or not afterwards we had a very powerful talk over “google translate”…

No matter how ridiculous the whole thing felt or seemed it was real to her–and my kids deserved to get water guns in their eyes. I had to really step back from just being a momma bird to them and also embrace being a momma bird to her…and not even say I saw everything…but step back and listen…and love. We talked about what it meant to be a child. And then what it meant to act like a child. We talked about what it meant to be a child of God. And what it meant to act like a child of God. Sure–maybe my littlest birds splashed but some times that happens in a pool…especially with little ones. Our hearts may want to do something back to them–and it might be fun to watch them scream–because reactions from little ones are some times unique–but is it LOVE? We talked about being a lady and about being a leader…and more about how much we absolutely adore and love this new little bird…that really isn’t so little. I told her she was here for a purpose. How much the Lord loved her. And how He had an amazing plan for her life. I made her look in my eyes and I told her she was loved over and over and over…until she said it back. (Something we do every day a million times a day). All the while—my dear friends watching…the first real flies on our wall…the drama of the translation over the phone about a 3 year old splashing…feet stomping and pouting…our pecking away as fast as fingers can go on google translate. And then…the I love you’s. Then to top it off–my sweet little Princess T walked in the kitchen and grabbed 3 Clementines…the very thing she picked out at the store that was to be ALL HERS…and she walked over and gave one to me and each of my friends.

She was loving.

She was serving.

She was putting others first.

And momma bird was proud.

And momma bird looked at her friends and said, “I told ya. By the end of every day I love her to pieces. Every single bit of this…it’s gonna all be worth it.”

A million words typed on google translate today. A total of 4 translators helping us out just today…some more than once (thank you Susan, Masha, Kristina, Tetiana!). 20 fits of pouting. Followed by make-ups with humming. And 3 clementines. Hardest thing momma bird has ever done–but totally believe in my heart it is forever going to be worth it.

ok. going to be short and sweet…with a little hosting fun slipped in…because momma had a FULL day.

here’s the run down.

8:30 a.m. Our day started. T is a night owl–so I was up much too late last night waiting for her to go to bed. Momma made a firm bed time rule after last night. To our beds by 10:30 and lights out at 11pm. This is new for me:) My littles crash around 8.

Got Laney and Isaac ready for their birthday parties (when you have 4 kids–you have birthday parties every Saturday). We waited until the last minute to wake princess T up. She likes sleeps in until about 10am. New to me too:) We woke her up at 10am and I literally escorted her from her bedroom to the car with juice and muffins waiting for her in the van. If you don’t rise early–you have to eat on the go:)

10:30 a.m. Drop off Laney at birthday party #1.

10:45 a.m. Swing by toy store to get present for birthday party #1 and #2 (life is TOO crazy right now to be prepared ahead of time.).

11:00 a.m. Run back to birthday party #1 drop off gift. Race to birthday party #2. Princess T is asking to swim–but we have to roll with it…arrive at birthday party #2 full of 2 and 3 year olds.

I thought it would be best for us to hang at #2 because #1 was a swim party and I knew it’d be too crazy to have princess T swimming with all the 5 year olds. I thought it’d be good to hang out together at the 3 year old party…but she got SO excited to see all the new things that she quickly took off her shoes with the other 3 year olds and dove in the jumpy. I didn’t want littles to get hurt so I coaxed her out and explained we’d go to a jumpy place this week. Yes–other parents were looking at me like I was crazy. These were friends from my littlest ones preschool so most at the party didn’t know we were hosting, and I could tell they were trying to figure us out. THEN the firetruck came which was really entertaining and fun for both Isaac and T. She really enjoyed it and was fascinated with it all! We had a minor incident with a sliding glass door–but other than that…smooth sailing and a lot of fun–and now we have Monkey Joes on our to-do list this week…her new favorite thing!

12:00 p.m. Left 3 year old party because it started getting overwhelming for our T–so we went back to party #1 to pick up Loo bear. Visited for a bit and then headed home to wait on Richard and Parker to get home (they had a father/son get away together…Parker needed some daddy time).

2pm Loaded everyone up and scooted over to Atlanta Athletic Club to swim with my sister’s family. We’ve been playing at our hood pool that has no lifeguard–so no big rules or whistle blowing. I totally forgot all the rules pools with diving boards have…no jumping in the diving board area, no hanging on the rope, no running…rules that you just grow up knowing. I tried my BEST to explain the rules with my handy translator–but to no avail–we got the whistle blown at us:) We had so much fun here that we decided to stay for awhile…we stayed until 5 o’clock! Every one was happy–so momma wasn’t going to leave. Uncle Harris taught Parker how to dive and Frankie baby was running and jumping off the diving board for the first time. So fun to watch my 3 year old fish!

5pm Scoot home to meet Richard. Oh–forgot to mention I had them all at the pool while Rico stayed home with napping Isaac. Momma is the nap queen–and my ITY needs his nap. Momma probably should have stayed back too–but I knew it’d be better for me to take princess T to the pool.

6pm Took the longest shower in history–and stayed up in my bedroom just sitting there–waiting to see how long I could sit there before anyone needed me. Rico Suave knew I needed some down time–very thankful for some much needed QT!!!

7pm I guess the QT was really what momma needed. I got out for the first time in awhile–I went to Aunt Nisia’s and just sat on her front porch! Parker man went with me and we just had some much needed R & R out of the house together.

9pm Got home–found T and Rico Suave playing cards in the living room. THANKFUL they were having some fun time and I heard lots of laughing. Such a good thing for me to get away for this! Inspired by my new VBFF Dara a new hosting momma who coached me through setting rules/boundaries for a 15 year old…and established new bedtime rules over google with T. Wasn’t sure how it was going to go–but it went GREAT. She said “okay!”. Yay. Had to talk about some other rules…no coming in bathrooms without knocking and other things we needed to cover. Success! (Now sticking to them will be the real challenge)

10:30pm YAY! Our new bed time in full effect. I got tested on this one…

10:40pm Okay–so the testing set me back 10 minutes…but I won at 10:40:)

and that…in a nutshell…was our day! now off to bed at a reasonable hour! VERY THANKFUL!