The Young Family Farm »

Okay–if you need to laugh…then this is the post to read:)

Look carefully.

What does NOT belong in this picture?

Do you see something that does NOT belong in a bathroom?

‘Cause this is Rico Suave’s side of the master bath…and I think he has lost his hosting mind.

I went in last night to brush my teeth and about lost it. The man cracks me up. So–you know how when you make change in your life it can be the little things that either make you crazy or just 1 or 2 things that help you keep your old normal for a moment that keep you sane? Well–his thing is his tomatoes.

He had his cherry tomatoes…his standard globe tomaotes–and what I call his “sacred” heirloom tomatoes. You can eat all the cherry tomatoes and regular home grown tomatoes you want. But the “sacred” tomatoes…those require a daddy cutting ceremony for.

Our sweet T loooooves tomatoes. Last summer we were able to share lots of tomatoes with friends and family–but this year…T has it covered. Sweet girl eats at least 4-5 regular bad boys a day. And the cherry tomatoes I can’t pick them before they’ve all been eaten off the vine. Our sweet girl can EAT. Food has never been so plentiful–so I go to the grocery a lot more to restock and our grocery stash in our envelope system has for sure doubled. It’s truly amazing–and I had to smile watching sweet girl eat breakfast this morning (2 tomatoes + pasta + a triple ham sandwich + a cereal bar). And that’s just breakfast.

Sooo…I had to smile last night at my man–who has the kindest heart–who said yes to hosting a teenager while having 4 kids ages 7 and under…and all the man asks for…is to slice his heirlooms. The rain and thunderstorms hit his heirlooms hard–and he’s only had about 4 survive. (Almost 5–but the bugs got in #5…and he talked about it for days.) I don’t dare touch those heirlooms on my life–and I had to snicker when I saw one sliced one morning. While I say it’s just a heirloom–you men who are in touch with your tomato plants know the beauty of a pumpkin size organic heirloom.

I tried not to crack a smile as I walked in the bedroom last night holding one of the palm size tomatoes and asked, “What are THESE doing in our bathroom???”

Our life is crazy Ang. What if they were cut before they ripened? That’s all I ask–is for my heirlooms to ripen… And then we both burst out in some much needed laughter. Love my man–his simplicity…and for his sneakiness in hiding his heirlooms. Gotta love ’em.

At the pool…

Okay. So let me tell you about a normal trip to our hood pool. Not sure this is laughable at all. It’s kinda sad.

I was swimming with my 5 little birds when another momma bird came in with her 2 little birds.

My kids were doing their thing–sailing the 7 seas in their inflatable pirate ship and 7 foot inflatable paddle boat. (Yes–we are that family that brings all the annoying inflatables to the pool that make your kids whine. Sorry about that. I need the inflatables to survive. And we really do share and welcome any friends to play on them;).

I looked redonkulous with my 2 and 3 year old jumping in and swimming to me (proud of my boys withOUT floaties–momma has been working hard!) But I look crazy because they both jump in and swim to me at the same time and then they jump on my back…which at that point I remember to look around to make sure the 6 and 7 year old are sharing–and that the 15 year old is aware of personal space. Eek…and this time she wasn’t…her float was touching this other mom in the back while she threw a ball to her 2 birds the ages of my big birds. SOOOO…I swam as fast as I could ACROSS the pool with my 2 and 3 year old on my back and pulled her away apologizing that we are from the Ukraine and we are still learning personal space. WHICH made for a scene because our T isn’t Miss Grace…she was startled when I called her name and started pulling her away which made her jump and fall off her float giving me and the other momma bird a good splash down. Princess T hopped out of the pool to run to the restroom and this conversation followed…

Where’d you say she was from?

Me: The Ukraine.

Oh. That’s so nice. So you have a little au pair from Ukraine to nanny for this summer??

{What I wanted to say: Did she look like an au pair when she was on her float running into you while I tended to the littles??}

Me: On no. She isn’t an au pair.

A foreign exchange student then?

{What I wanted to say: This conversation could go many ways–I think I hear thunder. We always leave the pool when it thunders.}

Me: No. She isn’t an exchange student. The orphanages in the Ukraine close for the summer. There is an incredible ministry called New Horizons that helps find families for these kids to live in so they are off the streets, get to stay in a safe place and get to experience the love of a family.

Ohhhhh. That’s nice. I don’t even know what to say.

{What I wanted to say: I think I hear thunder. We always leave the pool when it thunders…}

And is this your little boy? Is he adopted?

{What I wanted to say: Which one?}

Me: Yes, he is my son. Isaac can you tell this sweet mom where you were born?

Isaac: I was born in Ah-ri-ca!

Me: Yep. This sweet boy was born in Africa, and we couldn’t be more thankful for how God has grown our family.

Her son chimes in now…

Son #1: Can I touch the black boy?

{What I wanted to say: Can you what? Now–he doesn’t bite–but his momma does…what country do you live in? And I thought us homeschooling folk were supposed to be the weird ones?}

Me: Well, you should ask him.

Son #1: Black boy, can I touch you.

{What I wanted to say: You don’t really want to read what I wanted to say.}

Me: Well, my son has a name. Can you tell this little ig-nant white boy your name. (Hahahah! I totally DID Not say that…rewind!)

Me: Well, my son has a name. Can you tell this little boy your name?

Isaac: My name is Isaac. I don’t want you to touch me.

Me: Sorry–he doesn’t want you to touch him. But I hope you guys have fun throwing ball with your mom.

I just love what your family is doing. I think God just gives some people a heart to help others.

{What I wanted to say: I think God gives everyone a heart to help others…it just looks different for everyone…and some listen and some let the fogginess of the world keep them from hearing…}

Me: We aren’t doing anything really but living. I would love to have a play date some time…

and then…it really did thunder…so we went.

Oh the conversations this momma bird some times has.

At home…(before the pool conversation)

Today was a CHILL day for us. I had a sitter come to help with the littles so I could CLEAN. I knew she would willingly clean for me–but I knew our T needed to see me in a different way and another role a mom must play. So–I let the sitter take the littles to the pool and since T has to be with me 24-7–we stayed back while Isaac napped…and I promised to take her to the pool after I was done scrubbing.

I told her she could read or scrapbook, but she opted to watch me clean. It is a bit humbling to have a teen follow you from room to room standing there just watching you scrub and sweat. It took me an hour to scrub my bathroom. I haven’t been able to clean since the princess arrived–and much needed to be done. I told her she could read–but she insisted on just standing over me while I scrubbed. I confess I was tempted to hand her a scrub brush but I didn’t feel that was what I was supposed to do. I felt I should humble myself before her and scrub. So I did…really unsure why.

Then I felt after my bathroom–I should scrub hers. And I felt the Holy Spirit in their speaking to me…crazy I know. Wash my feet. And that is what it felt like…as I scrubbed her toilet while she just stood there and watched. I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed…and ever now and then I looked up to say, “You okay?” to show my care for her while I cleaned. And I really did feel like I was washing holy feet. I know that sounds crazy–but it was a moment. And she left the room and didn’t return.

I kept cleaning and she still didn’t return–so I went to find her. I found her in Laney’s room…CLEANING. She was going through drawers (in an orphanage you can’t explore–there’s nothing to explore)…I walked by now and then watching her carefully tend to her dolls and line them up on her bed…and of course I did what this momma always does…and wondered and wished…wondered what it was like for her…and wished it had been more. She lined up her shoes. She made her bed. And He did something today in my not getting frustrated that I was cleaning while being watched and that I resisted the temptation to ask “Wanna help?” or “Could you wash your own feet?” Something happened today–and she saw me in a new light and wanted to serve with me. And it was sweet. And even holy.

And that…that was our day.

Tomorrow is going to be another good one. I just know it:)

Blessings to you this day!

andrea

We had ANOTHER great day! I think I’m on to something;). Our T really thrives most when she has us one-on-one. When my babies slept through the night for the first times when they were little, I always tried to “recreate” whatever helped them sleep well…fuller bellies, shorter late afternoon naps…AND after seeing how well T has done when she has momma bird all to herself–and how GOOD it was for her and our connecting–we decided to spend today at the Georgia Aquarium (the largest aquarium in the world!)

It took an act of congress to pull it off. I have had a babysitter come much of this week from 9am-4pm to help with my kids so I can focus on T. When I catch my heart missing my babies–I just have to give that sacrifice to the Lord ask Him to be enough for them and for me right now. There is more stress in our home when T doesn’t get what she needs–so we are taking a few days each week to switch things up to love a little more. And today was another one of those. And it required Congress. (Thank you Addie for picking Parker up from camp and bringing him home. Thank you Kelly for bringing your kids to my house and sacrificing your entire day to help with my children. It takes a village—especially where things are broken—so thank you for loving our family and T. Very thankful knowing my littles are loved and well cared for…such a beautiful picture of the body of Christ.)

So…after this act of Congress was in place–T and I headed down the aquarium. We were on the road for about 30 minutes when T asked to call her friend. I explained (over old faithful “Say Hi” iPhone app that I didn’t have her number–I could tell she wasn’t buying it. She has several friends numbers who also traveled here to be hosted and she has their numbers written down at home. I then tried to explain as I held my iPhone in one hand and navigated ATL traffic in the other that momma bird doesn’t have all the numbers memorized in my brain–I was sorry, but we would have to get it at home later.

One thing these kids CAN NOT do–is think long term. They are survivors and they only think hour by hour–some times minute by minute. They fight for what they want right then–because that is how they work. And dog-gone-it she needed that number RIGHT then. She translated that we needed to TURN AROUND and GO HOME and get the number. (Deep breath from momma bird.)

Really?? You mean–no aquarium? You want to go home and get the number and just call your friend?

YES.

Another deep breath.

But what about Congress? What about everything momma bird set up? What about my friend Kelly who gave up her day…and carpool delegation??? Really?

YES.

I thought I might cry…and I hoped maybe she didn’t understand. Understand how hard I had worked to pull this off…how my 4 little birds NEVER get these kind of days from momma bird–but I’m really, really, really trying. I asked if we could call the translator and she said NO. (The translator is over us and she knows it I think;). I explained that IF we go home to get the number we will NOT return to the aquarium. Not because I don’t love her–but because we would no longer have time.

She said okay.

Then momma bird explained that we would probably not get to go the aquarium AT ALL while she is here if we didn’t take advantage of every thing in place right now and go. Her friend might not even answer the phone. Okay??? (Held my breath…)

Okay.

I took another breath…because I needed one. I needed to give my frustration to the Lord and not compare how my little children who have been cared for and raised in my nest would have died for a day like today. Oh Lord–please let this be a good one…I am so tired…I feel like I need to take care of me…please bring Your peace today…

And He did.

You see–in large, LOUD crowds–“Say Hi” translator does NOT work. SO–we spent almost 4 hours at the Aquarium and didn’t say one word. She talked to me in Russian–but I just smiled and rubbed her back and said, “Yes, yes–you like it!” over and over again:)

Happy girl…

Because she can’t read or understand English–she really didn’t have any interest in stopping to really read or see anything (my crew asks me to read almost every one when we go–and I crazily LOVE the discovery and knowledge of every creature). After she saw the beluga whale she blew off the little guys…she was absolutely in awe of the belugas!

Okay–y’all don’t get mad at me for this next paragraph–but I was really crackin’ myself up today because the differences socially–this girl would push and shove to get up to the glass every time. People would give HER the stink eye like, “I don’t know what you think you’re doing”…THEN she would turn to find me and start trying to talk in CHARADES. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME the people who had just given her the stink eye would look at me and make a compassionate face…some times they would make more room for her quickly…and a few even came and told me, “I’m so sorry–I didn’t realize…” What? What didn’t you realize;). I just smiled and said it was okay. They thought something was definitely off with us–and then she’d SHOUT with joy and delight and then start in with the charades what she wanted to say…and almost every time she’d tap the window with her fists or wave at the fish…this was just the first time in her LIFE ever getting an experience like this–she was a KID AGAIN…and the people around us weren’t sure what to think. She flipped out in the 3D Finding Deepo movie! It was pretty cute!

THEN…off to the BIG tank…

…I look at this picture (above) and although this princess turns 16 in just 2 weeks (aging out)…I see so much hope. This face is the face of a girl who is going to change the world. I just know it. And I’m going to keep reminding her of that. I see lots of trips to the Ukraine in our future;)

Last but not least–was the dolphin show…it was truly AMAZING!

I was sitting there–watching this girl…watching her face full of awe…and I started praying. Praying for her future. Praying for her to know His love. Praying that she would be okay. Praying that the Lord would bind our friendship and hearts in such a strong, real way that we would forever walk with her and be a part of her life. And then…I looked at the dolphins and trainers…

…and they were dancing…

…Here. Here were these VERY two different creatures…that couldn’t speak the same language. YET–they were dancing.

Their lives truly looked completely different…unable to understand one another’s words—yet some how…they were connecting. And even dancing.

The dolphin would never survive on the land of the trainer–but instead…the trainer had to go into the world of the dolphin…meet that dolphin where he is used to living…where he can breath—so they might connect, learn one another, train together learning how to communicate…and eventually they would dance.

I looked over at my princess. I wished for sunglasses or that she wouldn’t see me discreetly wiping away a tear or three. I felt fear bottle up in my heart–I want her to be protected…I want them all to be–as the faces of children aging out now take on a new and real face for this momma. I want to be able to connect with her…to communicate…like the trainer and dolphin. And to even–dance…that our hearts would be in sync and she would have a vision and a purpose for her life that is only from her Creator. And that some how…we can help her dance…and dance with her for her vision and purpose. But like the trainer…our calling might look different. I know we were only called to bring her into our home and love her for 5 weeks through New Horizon’s hosting program–a program that provides loving, Christian homes for these kids during the summer and winter orphanage closures in their countries. This summer–she has been kept safe. This summer–she has been loved. But what next? Lord I trust you. Do something big. Even if it means taking us like the trainer to where this beautiful creation lives…where she breathes…and help us some how dance for your glory.

Just as I was praying, I tuned back into the “show” and on the big screen wind was portrayed…and a deep loud voice came over the hundreds watching…(there was a story line where a ship and dolphin were in great trouble…)…I kid you not.

“FEAR NOT. Arise great dolphin so I may blow my wind and move your sails!”

I sat there smiling. After just praying for her and thinking about our language barrier and how the trainer had to meet the dolphin in a different way for them to connect…I thought of her again. ARISE. Arise my princess. So that He might blow His winds and move your sails!

Praying big. Hoping big. May He finish what He has begun.

And then we drove home…with the passenger seat declined–my princess slept as I drove. She felt safe, secure and at peace. Yes, it was another good day.

Thank you sweet Kelly for helping make another day like today possible…

We’ve had a really good night together–and tomorrow we head South as she gets to go visit Papa and Nana for the weekend! They got approved for backup hosting with New Horizons and she ADORES them–so they are treating her to a fun weekend where she will get lots of love and attention while momma bird rests up. This SUNDAY is the half-way mark of the 5 week hosting program. We have covered so much ground in her time with us–and can’t imagine what the rest of the summer together holds!

Please keep praying for miracles for sweet T! And if you would like more information on hosting–please visit New Horizons for Children and tell them I sent ya!

Andrea

One thing I have learned about our princess–is she needs 100% of this momma to really feel loved. Soooo…momma bird had a babysitter today from 9am to 4pm so I could totally focus on giving quality time to our biggest love. I waited for her to wake up–but at 10am…not rising yet…so I did what I always do with my little birds who need to rise–politely make a little noise close by their rooms and some times a little rise and shine birdy knock:)

She came down not feeling so well:(. I felt her head–and it was hot. I grabbed her and gave her the biggest bear hug–and her head fell into my shoulders. Bless her…she felt sick–and sick for this girl I guess means NEEDING me…she’s been tough as nails–but this fever thing…was a blessing today. I told her over google translate that she was hot, I’d take her temp and then momma bird would care for baby bird” (She has to think I’m crazy–but she DOES laugh when I refer to myself as momma bird and give out a little tweet. Okay–I shouldn’t have told y’all that because now y’all think I’m nuts;). Hey–when you have so many little birds to love you have to have a sense of humor and entertain YOURSELF or you might fly like a bird…far, far, away;). (Like my Forest Gump line thrown in there;)

SO–she had a temp of 99. REALLY not much of a fever…but I wasn’t going to tell HER that because it was an opportunity! I escorted her BACK up the stairs, got her some Pedialyte, Children’s tylenol (had to up the dosage for an almost 16 year old;) and crackers…I tucked her under the covers, put a rag on her head and did what momma birds do in times like these…I sang a song over her quietly…and once again…I think she loved it! Oh my heart…

She dozed off back to sleep–and momma bird waited. And waited. And waited. I had a sitter here after all–and hoped that she’d feel better by lunch. She came down the stairs in time for lunch–so I fixed her lunch and then did a momma bird scurry around the kitchen feeling her forehead and taking her temp again. I think the cold rag really got it down because it was under 98.6. While I was tempted to fib for the sake of bonding–we should always be truthful…so I confessed–she was feverless.

Time to hit google translate and the “Say Hi” translate app!

Wanna go some where?? Just me and you??

YES!

And off we went. I had some ideas–and I’ve learned that choices are VERY overwhelming to a child who has never had choices. SO–you simply make their choice for them. I’ve also learned that you TELL them–you don’t ask…but I really stink at that second part. I pull up to a pottery painting place…she’s very artsy so I thought she would be stoked!

“We are going to paint pottery together! Do you want to? (Note: I shouldn’t have ASKED.)

NO!

Aw man. Okay. Another idea. I knew her tummy was still not feeling well–so we couldn’t do anything very active. WHAT else could we do that involved…SITTING. No painting. No pottery. What girl would turn down…a pedicure? Pull up to nail place.

“We are going to get our TOES painted! Yay!!! Do you want to?

NO!

Oh…okay. Ummm…clearly out of ideas. I put my hand across the car on the back of the passenger seat and thought maybe if she wasn’t feeling well…then maybe she is sore. I rubbed her shoulders and said, “Massage??? You want someone to rub your feet and shoulders?”

YES! YES! YES! ME?? OH! YES!

Okay–the stinker has an opinion. I know…I know…I know…some of your regular host moms are saying, “That is NOT how it goes. You tell her, you take her, you teach her.” You must know my little/big bird. She really is precious. She is just really tender. Truuuuuuuuust me. So off we went–to Heavenly Foot Massage (my absolutely favorite secret in my town where you get a 1 hour foot, arm and shoulder massage for just $30!) The funnest part though was walking in to the tree hugger music–and we sat down the couch. ANY time you are SUPPOSED to be quiet–I maturely get the giggles. She was telling me to SHHHHHH! and I was rolling laughing on the couch. THEN her trying NOT to laugh at me made her start laughing. We have NO idea how to communicate by words–but here we were rolling on the couch, slapping the arm rests and wiping away tears because we were laughing so hard together.

Here we are waiting…just before I started cutting up…

Please take note of my tired eyes–not much sleep happening over here…teenagers will do that to you even more than your babies did!

I was sitting beside her…watching her get her first royal treatment…part of me wanted to whisper, “Do you KNOW you are the daughter of a KING?? Really–you ARE a princess my T!” and part of me wanted the lady giving her royal treatment to know just who she was loving on…one of THE most precious children in the eyes of God…truly a precious jewel…a child that is going to change the world…she just doesn’t know it yet;)

After our hour of R and R together—we decided to plan her party a little bit. She LOVES anything to do with cooking–so we hit up my favorite bakery to let her pick out and order her 16th birthday cake for her party on the 30th. She keeps telling me who she wants to invite to her party–and it’s so much fun getting to plan her first birthday party with her…but for this mom it makes my heart ache too–knowing what turning 16 actually means for these kids. STILL…she is choosing JOY for this day–so I am too. It is NOT the end (where so many of these kids begin living on the streets as they can no longer live in the orphanage) but it just has to be her beginning. I tell her EVERY DAY that she is going to change the world–and I just know this is the beginning for her. We may not be called to adoption–maybe we are called to something just as big and even crazier than that with this sweet girl. I know know–but I know the Lord has a plan. And she is a STINKER–and I totally believe the book “Nice Girls Don’t Change the World” is totally legit. She has had to fight to make it this far…and we are going to join her fighting team for her future.
So by golly–let there be CAKE!

I wasn’t sure if she would really enjoy designing her own cake–especially all the talking that would be needed and communicating over my iPhone apps from English to Russian can be mind boggling. STILL–she LOVED it!

LOVED that this baker saw my pain…girlfriend looked through EVERY last album and said NO to every last picture…until she finally saw ONE she liked!

The baker was like, “You gotta be kidding me?! Are you telling me that THIS is how you two seriously communicate all day long??” Yes sir. Welcome to our world for just 20 minutes. You feel like your head is spinning and about to fall off? Oh I’m sorry. Maybe you need to eat a piece of your chocolate cake.

Now-I’m really glad I let HER pick out the cake because I would have NEVER in a million years chosen the cake she chose for her…

So–she decided on a 2 layer HEART cake. One layer vanilla. One layer chocolate. Pink icing. Basket weave around the side. TONS of flowers on top. “Happy 16th Birthday Tonya” (her new nickname) written on top. I asked her if she was SURE she wanted it to say Tonya–yes! yes! yes! Alright then. See what I mean–this girl has an opinion…it matters…and she is going to change the world:)

After that–we came home just in time to let my sitter go at 4pm. We had a great heart to heart over google translate–that included how much we love her–AND encouragement to just TRY to talk in English…to just practice a FEW things that would make her time here easier for her. She said NO–and did what she always does and went off on me in Russian. I politely typed that I still don’t speak Russian. She let me know that I should be the one learning it. I said we could both learn BUT to please see my heart and to please see I have 4 other children that are under age 7 and it is hard for me to care for all 5 children well AND pick up another language…could she just TRY to learn some. Because–after all…how will be Skype and talk on the phone about how we are going to change the world if she doesn’t? I got a pouty “OKAY”…so I’ll take what I can get. THEN we loaded up to visit a friend and her littles…

T read and relaxed on the swing while I got to pour into my other littles a bit…

Thanks Addie for letting us play with your boat AND your baby to bring smiles to all my little birds’ faces!

Princess T was in such an amazing mood…truly she needed and needs that longer one-on-one each day to fill her cup. We came home and she was OKAY coming home (she likes to go, go, go). We cooked TOGETHER. Laughed quite a bit. And I’ll confess I looked at the microwave clock here and there–because Rico Suave has been out of town and he would be home tonight! We finished dinner–and T helped me CLEAR the table AND LOAD the dishwasher. Not only was she feeling better but being a helper–and we were laughing at the littles doing and saying crazy things around us. She helped me change Isaac and brush his teeth and we put him to bed–TOGETHER…tenderly tucking in his covers and turning off his lights–together…sweet bonding with my T!

She asked for a bike ride…so out we went. She asked to call a friend or two–so we TRIED but no answer. All the while my other 3 were so sweet and patient and do what she requests to do with us…even if they aren’t up for it. (I have the coolest kids in America people.) And then Rico Suave walked in the door and I literally RAN and threw my arms around him! He of course laughed…he knew momma needed a break.

He was left to put the other 3 down while Princess T and I went to her room and made necklaces out of beads and hemp. I made her a bracelet and carefully tied it around her wrist…and then my other 3 snuck in and made some with us. Princess T worked on her cross stitch piece that says, “Nothing Is Impossible With God”…and we sat there singing Christy Nockels praise worship as we beaded and sewed. (I thought 2 things…1. JOY…this is JOY. In the hard–whether or not it’s happy–there is JOY. Joy is being in the hard and staking your feet in the ground to say I will NOT be moved. I am going to stand right here Lord where you have called me and I will love with your love until YOU move me. And the 2nd thought was 2. Where the heck is Richard and why is he not putting down the younger 3?! Just being honest;). The man was in his garden loving on his tomatoes. MEN!

Princess T was getting tired…as were the others…so momma bird tucked in her baby birds…closed the doors…and wanted to crash. But instead…she held back tears–thanking God for everything He has done and everything He will do. Y’all, He really is good all the time. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done–I want to freeze time and run at the same time…I daily release fear for her future and then I wonder what in the WORLD is my King up to??? He isn’t safe…but He is good…and I’m gonna trust Him.

Love y’all…good night!

Andrea