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The Day She Turned 16… {a day I’ll never forget}

It’s been just over a week since we took Princess T to the airport–and it’s taken me just over a week to recover and start to get things back in order. Our world literally stood still for 5 weeks as we poured into this sweet princess. The children have needed more of me this past week–and we’ve all taken a lot of much needed NAPS! We have been communicating to and fro every single day with contacts in Ukraine–and I’m chomping at the bit to share what’s in store for our princess–but we must wait until more things are in place…and trust me…it will be so worth the wait. When we shared with our family they have all been JAW DROPPED…and I thank Jesus for the story He is writing. For the last few weeks of her time with us–I’ll confess, I often cried more tears than I think I ever have. I was a mess. Yet on her birthday…beauty seemed to be stirred from ashes–and God showed up in the most glorious unexpected way…a direction that only God could do. Instead of crying her last couple of nights with us, she and I stayed up dreaming.

Nights that were holy, powerful, precious and forever dear. I treasure these in my heart…God is good.

I realized tonight when I was at the grocery store, and a lady behind me asked me, “How was your summer?” that I hadn’t shared with you all about her birthday. It must be shared. It’s worshipful to know of this as it gives Him such glory. And that precious lady behind me at the grocery–when I told her…she wiped away tears (you either WANT to be behind me at the grocery store or you DON’T. I’m far too transparent–so when someone asks me how my summer was–you get more than just “it was good…and yours??” I have to tell more…because God stories are too great not to share!)

Driving home…my heart missed her–and I realized that last week and it’s CRAZINESS full of miracles left me unable to share about those last few days. And after she left–sharing this one was just too emotional for this heart desperately wanting everything to work out…and just needing to spend that time on my knees and also in recovery mode. But before I forget…it must be shared…

Her 16th birthday…

T’s birthday wish was to have a birthday–BUT it was start the day kayaking with Papa and Nana (my parents). My parents are CRAZY–the most incredible parents you can imagine. When I told them T’s birthday wish–even though my dad was on call Sunday night and couldn’t come until Monday morning (the day of her birthday)–they didn’t blink. We were having friends over Monday night because this was the ONLY birthday party she’d ever had–and she wanted it to BE on her birthday! So–my crazy parents left their home in Alabama at 3am–and they were waiting at our house for T to wake up.

She heard one of the kids say, “Papa and Nana are here!” and although she hadn’t been up before 8am ALL SUMMER—with bed head and pajamas on she raced downstairs like it was Christmas morning, ran out in the wet grass squealing and said she was ready to go kayaking!!! And off they went!

Praise Jesus for this time–because everyone (I mean EVERY ONE) that T had met all summer she had invited to this party–and I had had ZERO time to plan it. The weekend before I had taken her to the lake, Stone Mountain, church and then entertained friends who she loved of mine that speak Russian. NO TIME TO PLAN A PARTY. Papa took T and Parker kayaking from sun up until early afternoon, while my mom stayed and kept the other children SO I could spend my morning all over town getting the cake, food, making sure the jumpy was being placed in the right place, etc. It was crazy! SUCH a big day for this princess turning 16, and I was thankful that she got to kayak instead of seeing what really goes into pulling one of these days off!

Richard got off work at 3pm so he could start up the grill–and guests would be arriving at 6pm. Literally everyone she met was invited…toddler, teenage or grandparent. It was precious…she colored signs and taped them all over the doors. She wrote “Happy Birthday Tetyana” in Russian all over the place and taped those up…she was bouncing off the walls! And when everyone started arriving…she was truly walking on clouds!

This was SO NOT the girl who arrived just 5 weeks earlier! I could just bottle her up!

Remember the cake she designed and ordered??? Here it is…all 5 layers (HUGE!) in all it’s glory…(granted it was in the “grandmother” section in the photo book at the bakery–but girlfriend LOVED it!)

She jumped in her bouncy–and I stood back and laughed…wishing this little girl had been given birthday parties when she was tiny with pigtails. She squealed as if she was turning 6–but this girl was turning 16…and for her this age meant so many things. I held my breath as I watched–and I prayed and reminded the Lord how much I loved her…as if He didn’t already know…

The night before I had gone to bed with tears–realizing how much we truly did love her. “WHY LORD–why would You allow us to fall in love with her when it was really too late??? You have a plan right???” While weeks earlier Richard and I told each other we’d be doing good to make it to the end–now we had fallen in love with this little spunky thing…yet in our hearts…we knew–she wasn’t ours. She was His. And the Lord had given us to love her for a season. We loved well. I do know that. I stink at A LOT of things. But we loved this one well. I’ve never smiled so big watching the joy of a child at a birthday…it was truly beautiful. And everyone hear relished in it with us. So many came up to us to say she was a different girl…how amazing love looked on her…how much JOY she radiated…AND THIS DAY–IT WAS TRULY GLORIOUS.

You couldn’t help but be joyful with her…she was trusting Jesus with her future…and it was beautiful to behold…

Tetyana and Laura McBrayer jumping–Laura is my friend who is mom to Luke…Isaac’s crib mate–who moved up the street from us from Tennessee last summer.

My dear friend Susan Hillis was here to translate–she translated for us on a daily basis–through funny things…through heavy things…she knew our hearts through and through–it was precious to have her here with us on this day.

It was so fun–with so much laughter as everyone had Tetyana’s favorites…hotdogs, chips, fruit and coke.

(Momma Young with Angie Carley and Laura McB’s girly girls)

We prayed over T…

We ate…and then the moment came to sing happy birthday. NOW–if no one has ever sung this to you–you don’t really get how this all works. Which explains this precious reaction (you don’t realize you wait until the end of the song to blow out the candles!)…AND you have to know this girl is SO clumsy–so that explains my panic at the end when she wanted to hold up the 50 pound cake and show it to everyone side ways!

Then it was time to open gifts…oh my glory–this was SO FUN TO WATCH!!! Everything was small and simple so it could be packed up–but this girl…she was on cloud 9 with all the LOVE! Literally on clouds…

Then–came the time to thank everyone for coming. And that is where T really surprised us. She kindly said her thank you. Then she asked if SHE could pray over OUR FAMILY. Susan Hillis translated sentence by sentence…and it was the–THE–most moving, powerful, sweet and tender moment. I glanced up to only see tears streaming down everyone’s faces in the room. All of these faces had met this at first hard, quiet girl this summer–and 5 weeks later the room full of faces had fallen in love with her with us. To hear this child pray over US…was by far one of the most moving unexpected moments in my life…

After her prayer–I ran to hug her…and she said there was more she wanted to say. She verbalized how she knew it was hard in the beginning–how she came here for one thing but was leaving with another. She told us that we chose her–but now she chooses to love us…and a few other things I will treasure in my heart. And we hugged–and if there was a dry eye in the house before–there wasn’t now.

In 5 weeks she made a best friend who shed many tears with her…a friend who was also from Ukraine and just came home in January with her forever family. They sat there arm in arm talking about their futures—and Oksana asked her to spend the night–and while we only had 3 more nights left–if we were sharing one…it was going to be with this precious family who was dear to her and to us. God was doing something in their friendship–and I knew she needed to go. THEY ARE PRECIOUS TOGETHER…

That night–the Lord began showing us His plans…and I will forever love that He chose to stir something new on her 16th birthday…a day that should have been hopeless…the day orphans in Ukraine age out…the day that I wanted to shout “WHY????!!!!!!!” The day I had dreaded. The day I feared would always be on my shoulders–as we had been obedient in loving for 5 weeks…but we were also being obedient in letting her go.

To the world it wouldn’t make sense. But to God–it made perfect sense. His ways are greater than our ways…and this summer–He showed me that in a really big way. And He even worked out spend the night company so conversations that needed to happen could take place. He is always over the details!

Please continue to pray over His plans for her life. I can’t wait to share them with you when I’m able to–HOPEFULLY REALLY SOON. Thank you for praying for us all summer–and thankful for falling in love with this girl with us. Many of you loved her big in prayer (please don’t stop!), many of you sent her birthday cards (making her feel like she had a fan club and was REALLY LOVED BIG all over the place!) and many of you extended so much grace to us when we couldn’t be present or available this summer as we normally are. Thank you.

Instead of being left asking “WHHHHYYYY???” I was left asking, “Why do we get to be a part of this?? Why do we get to experience this??” I think I can pretty much promise that is what your why’s will CHANGE to when you say YES to loving the orphan. You will experience His presence, power and love in a new, real way when you choose to say YES to Him for the sake of these. You will THINK you are loving at first–then you will see it’s too big for you–and then He takes over. It’s then that you see His heart–and the miracle He does not only in this child’s live–but in all of your hearts called to love as well. If He calls you–just say YES. The road will NOT be easy—but it will be holy…it will be beautiful…it will be worth it.

And now–this momma must crash…because I have another birthday party to put on in the morning…for my precious miracle son Isaac–who is turning THREE!!!!!

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Ashley - August 11, 2012 - 8:16 am

Andrea I have followed this journey word-for-word ALL summer! I am in tears! I can’t wait to hear Part 2 of the amazing Princess T story…and you have really made me want to host an orphan one summer! I just love the way the Lord always turns HARD into AMAZING =)

missy - August 11, 2012 - 12:13 pm

wow. just wow. why am i surprised when God shows himself to be the glorious God that he is??? i love the way you love EXTRAVAGANTLY just like He does. i have been struggling just to love the ones God has entrusted to me each day. it hurts me to admit that. but you inspire me to love with His love. thank you.

Papa - August 11, 2012 - 12:24 pm

This is a day I think pretty much everybody in the room will remember for the rest of their lives. When the final story is told, it will be difficult to explain away the entire sequence of events as anything other than God’s Perfect Planning.

Amber - August 11, 2012 - 3:37 pm

oh dear, the tears just gushed out of my eyes the whole time I was reading this. What amazing things HE hath done! I also can’t wait to hear the part 2. This made me think of Isaiah 55:8-9. His ways are soo much higher than our’s!

Nicole - August 12, 2012 - 8:45 am

What a PERFECT description of adoption. It does turn you screams of “WHY?!?” into “why am I so lucky”s.

I just found your blog through a friend and I am glad that my kids are going to their grandmother’s after church. Now I have time to read your story! Can’t wait to dig in!

I hope your day is blessed. You have surely blessed mine.

Lauren - August 12, 2012 - 2:18 pm

Praise the Lord!!! This story is so beautiful. Can’t wait to hear the next part : )

Sarah - August 13, 2012 - 11:42 am

Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us through this incredible journey! I may not “know” you, but I feel like l do!! For someone with adoption stirring in her heart, your candid openness is very helpful and refreshing! Thank you!! Blessings to you and yours, and Princess T, as the Lord continues writing your stories!

Tiffany - August 15, 2012 - 12:21 pm

Love this. You are right…not easy…but beautiful. Feeling blessed to follow your journey, and convicted to continue stepping out…following His whispers.

Lisa - August 15, 2012 - 4:58 pm

Don’t know if you’ve seen what this family is doing in order to get their host child back…it seems to be similar in situation to what you guys were facing.

http://theredmonjourney.wordpress.com/

Continuing to pray for T and for all of you who love her! I’m anxious to hear what God is up to and the possible plan He may have in place! But I also wanted to share the other blog in case somehow that might also be a possibility if somehow it might be helpful!

Prayers for T’s journey…

Hopefully it won’t be much longer and I can share with so many of you who have been praying for T–and what the Lord has in store for her. IT IS GOOD STUFF!!! But there are a few more hoops that must be jumped through and details that must fall into place–so we want to ask you to please pray on behalf of Princess T and that the Lord would continue to pave the way. Hopefully we can share next week what the Lord is up to!!! For now–PLEASE join me in praying for her behalf!!! Pray the Lord would protect her and be over every detail of what He is doing for her future! It’s quite a miracle–and we are excited to hopefully be able to share very soon!

So thankful how the Lord has held her since the beginning…

One thing is certain–this girl impacted our hearts and family in big ways. Our children miss her to pieces.

We were on the way to swim lessons for Frankie baby, and I was doing our normal funny “van roll-call”.

Parker?

Here!

Laney?

Here!

Frank?

Here!

Isaac?

Here!

Then all was quiet.

Isaac quietly said, “Tetyana?

And there was silence by all.

More silence.

Please somebody say something or I might cry. Brittany Spears…anybody.

Then my precious little guy from Ethiopia began to say the Russian words that made Princess T laugh when they came out of his mouth, “BABUSHKA! DEDUSHKA!”

And just as if she were in the car with us–we all burst into uncontrollable laughter.

Who would’ve thought making the choice to love a teenage princess for 5 weeks would change us all. While in the first days and weeks there seemed to be more frustration or confusion—once we understood one another and knew one another’s hearts much of that faded away. And in the end–she left us with more joy and laughter.

Please pray with us for His purposes to prevail. The story He is writing is beautiful…

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Erin Farley - August 7, 2012 - 10:17 am

Praying for her! Can’t wait to hear about what God has planned!!

Heidi - August 7, 2012 - 11:56 am

Oh how wonderful are HIS works. Excitedly following your journey and testament of faith. Quite an amazing family you have, such sweet children of GOD, faith in motion, opening your hearts and home to T, what a tremendous blessing for you all. Praying for T and all the Lord has planned.

Amber - August 7, 2012 - 2:07 pm

Praying for all of you!!! Can’t wait to see what God is going to do in all of your lives!

Alison - August 7, 2012 - 2:42 pm

Oh my goodness, I cry every time I read one of your posts about sweet princess T! Praying for her right now!!!

Stephanie - August 7, 2012 - 4:42 pm

Praying, praying, praying!!!! I cannot wait to hear what is in store for her.

Dawn Wright - August 7, 2012 - 7:36 pm

ABSOLUTELY PRAYING!

Ashley - August 9, 2012 - 1:00 pm

Our family has continued to pray for her since I first read about her story!! I know God has an amazing plan for her! I never even knew about hosting until I read your blog..We financially can’t do it right now, but as we get older, and more settled it is defiantly something we are thinking about doing along with adoption! God Bless your family! You are reaching more people then you even realize =)

daniellem02 - August 10, 2012 - 6:30 pm

Praying for you and your family! I can’t wait to hear what is in store for T!!

Pray for Dzintars… {Family and Love – My Dream for Every Child to Have}

One of my New Horizons friends hosted a 14 year old boy Dzintars this summer. We got to know each other through the New Horizons for Children board–and it was amazing to see how this kid responded to family and their love. HE IS AMAZING!

Dzintars truly THRIVED with Maijian crew this summer–and it was so much fun to read Stacey’s updates each day. You can catch up on their summer on their family blog HERE.

Stacey and D…

Stacey’s family is advocating to find a family for him! Here’s what Stacey shares about this sweet boy…

Dzintars, age 14 (will be 15 in October), would do well in any family. He bonds easily and is desperate for a family to call his own! He’s got a stellar personality and is up for anything! He’s happy to try new things or experience new things, he’s brave, he’s kind, he’s SOOOO funny and easy going. It has been a joy to have him in our home. He’s eager to learn English and gets along well with our two young children (ages 4 and 2) as well as kids his age that he’s met while here. He desires to learn to swim and has worked diligently in his swim lessons to accomplish his goal. He likes America very much and has expressed on numerous occasions that he desires to stay here. I cannot say enough good things about this child!!! He loves all sports, especially baseball and soccer. He’s kind to animals (but allergic to cats), helpful around the house and inquistive about how things work. He’s lived in an orphanage nearly his entire life and yet is the most wonderful teenager I’ve ever met! His one dream in life is to have a family, can you help make that dream come true??? A matching grant is available for home study approved families. I’ve blogged nearly daily since he arrived, if you’d like to read more about this loving boy click here or contact New Horizons for Children at 678-574-4677 for more information about making Dzintars a part of your family!!

If you know a family that might be a good fit for D or if you are willing to help us advocate for D–PLEASE feel free to share this! He is one cool kid and we would all LOVE to see D find a family!!!

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Stacey - August 3, 2012 - 11:52 pm

Thanks Andrea!!! You rock!!! Determined to see this kid in a family one way or another!!

MMS - August 4, 2012 - 8:50 pm

I shared your post on my blog. My readership is small, but who knows who might be the right person. Thank you advocating for this young man. Blessings.

Emily - August 4, 2012 - 9:46 pm

Stacy, My husband and I have read everything you’ve posted about Dzintars and are very interested in learning more about him. We live in California and are just starting the adoption process. Any info you can give us to lead us in the right direction to get more information in possibly adopting him we would so appreciate. We will stand beside you in praying for him. Also, could you please tell me where he is located right now?

Sincerely,
-Emily

Emily - August 4, 2012 - 10:36 pm

Stacy, One more thing, I noticed on the web site for New Horizon that they require an 18 year age gap, well my husband and I are 31 which would be 17 years older then Dzintars. Do you know if it’s a tricked policy or if there is a little leeway?

Forever changed… {learning to love BIG}

Some times you go into something thinking you are going to make a difference…and instead–you come out being the one who has changed most of all. I know every person in our family would say this–we are forever changed by the little girl who lived in our home for 5 weeks this summer. We put our worlds on hold to love her–and it was worth every hard moment as layers came off and love poured in. We believe there is an amazing plan in place for T’s future–and for those of you who have loved her with us, we ask you to join us in praying for protection over His plans and for His will to be done. Please keep this precious princess in your prayers…and thank you for praying for her during the summer and for the journey she has ahead.

God is good all the time–and what a privilege it is to stand in the gap and LOVE BIG for Him. I treasure every hard moment, never sweet memory, every unexpected gift. If the Lord ever leads you to do something a bit out of your comfort zone in your already crazy life–I challenge you to just trust Him and say YES. His ways are always worth it…

Our favorites from our summer…(how do you pick just one?!)

Funny out-takes to come…

I put part of my heart on a plane today…and I’m trusting her into His perfect plans and great Big Hands. He is able–and He is good!

Signing off from a fabulous summer…and now going to crash with a good, long nap!

xoxo,

Andrea

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Julie - August 2, 2012 - 4:02 pm

Andrea,
I will be praying for God’s protection for T, and for Him to continue to reveal His love for her in very real ways. Just like He did for the past 5 weeks in your home.
Truely an amazing story to watch unfold. You are an awesome example of Christ’s love. Thanks for sharing your story!
Blessings,
Julie

Naomi - August 2, 2012 - 4:10 pm

I am sure your heart must be grieving in many ways. Thank you for sharing every detail of this journey together. I have enjoyed traveling with you and witnessing God’s miracle from afar. He is not done with the story yet. I believe there is still another chapter waiting to be written…….

Have a great loonngg nap!!!!

carie - August 2, 2012 - 7:43 pm

Please tell me what song it is that is in this video. Who sings it? It is beautiful. I noticed it in another video you have of T. She was singing it and could hear you singing it as well.

I thought of T, you and your family today. I am sure it was a sad day. I am very sure it is easier said than done, but try to think of it as more of a “see you later” than a “good-bye”.

Blessings

Papa - August 3, 2012 - 6:44 pm

You have made a difference in this young girl’s life that will grow and spread to others in ways none of us can even imagine today. Thank you for sharing her with all of us.

Lauren - August 7, 2012 - 6:52 pm

Praying for you all! Cannot wait to see what God does in this sweet girl’s life.

Nicole - August 12, 2012 - 8:51 am

What a blessing! I would love to get involved with this.

Never once…has He ever let her go…

We’ve had an amazing few days. Amazing. And I’m a little speechless at all He has done.

After a year of dealing with Lyme disease–having put our China adoption on hold a year ago–I thought we’d do what we could this summer–and if God wasn’t leading us to pick up our adoption again yet–we could host. It was a 5 week program–and we thought we’d host a teen who would be aging out. We had this little plan to love a child aging out and lay our new relationship before God to do whatever He wanted. We were even open to a speedy adoption if it was His plan. If not, we’d support this child in whatever way we could as if she was ours.

I went in expecting a quick connection. Begging our social worker to complete a home study in record time. But as the days passed, we didn’t feel this was best for her as she expressed her desire to go back to her country and we didn’t feel this was what the Lord was leading us to do. We advocated for her–but nothing happened. And I felt the Lord was asking me to step back and trust Him. (This is hard for me–because I can’t “back think”–because I love her terribly now…and I know she’d fit beautifully in our family. This is the hard part for me now…but I know His timing is just perfect. He has a plan.) Truly, it would have near to impossible even had we said yes in the first week–but still…that wasn’t what we felt we were to do.

We struggled greatly those first weeks. Every day she made up new stories–we felt we didn’t know who this child was. She’d bite her hands until they bled–and she’d give us stink eyes throughout the day if we didn’t meet every request or told her no. It was hard. I just didn’t see how in the world this momma could make time for what was obviously needed for long term care–and while some times I felt the temptation to call on a backup host family–I knew the Lord had a purpose for our time together…I knew she had been let down by many in her past…and I wasn’t about to add more to the list. I told her she had us whether she liked it or not. I told her she could give me the stink eye all she wanted and I was going to love her to pieces. I got frustrated over her turning on Spanish soap operas despite my asking not to watch them…I took deep breaths when she made fun of the children crying…and my heart would beat when glared at me–my knees would shake and I’d tell myself to stand firm, keep smiling back–and walk over and hug her or rub her back and tell her how much I love her…contrary to what my flesh wanted to do.

I’ll never forget our first visit to church. I was pecking away as fast as my fingers would go on google translate. Trying to translate every worship song for her…and then–the pastor started talked and out we went because I could see she was upset with me for taking her there and she hated it. She ran down the hall. I chased her. Into an empty Sunday school room she went–and she was hysterical. For the next hour I calmed her down–we called the translator–she made up more stories…and all I could think was how in the world are we going to make it to August? I had 4 littles waiting for me to pick them up–but this one needed all of me…and she’d need most of me for the summer. Lord, will you be enough for them while we do this?

And here I type. Almost 5 weeks later. Just 4 sleeps before she boards a plane and leaves for the Ukraine. What I’d now give for more. We have come so far…and I feel like she is mine.

Her life is changed. My life is changed. And I will never be the same.

The last week has been so sweet. We’ve overcome hurdles, and she clearly sees my heart and love for her. It has required hours on google translate every day and night–my babes in the playroom while I prayed He would be enough as I cared more for her…daily I would give it to Him–and He has been faithful.

I haven’t been able to blog the last few days so I must document some of my favorite memories to hold on to…

*Loved when I was leaving for the grocery on Thursday and T had the choice to stay at the house with Rich and visit with kids her age that she JUMPED in my van to come. She said, “Baby come with momma!” and we laughed. We had such fun at the store–but of course she pulled a T pointing at someone with blue hair. I had to tell her it’s not okay (once again) to point and laugh…working on her. Love her to pieces.

*We stopped by Laura McBrayer’s house to visit. She told us she danced–but refused to show us. I told her I’d go first and put on quite a show leaving her laughing her head off. She followed me–and it was pretty sweet to watch…to see this is a love of hers. Love this memory together. Here’s a pic of T with Laura’s daughter Rebecca…

*When I asked her if she wanted to stay at the lake and told her she’d have to share a room with me and the kids–her eyes got big…she locks her door at night–so she wasn’t sure about this. She had SO much fun at the lake and wanted to spend the night–and we had a little slumber party. And she put on a little dance show for the family at the lake too! Her shells are coming off and she is feeling free to be T!

*We drove back on Saturday morning…just me, T and ITY. The 3 of us went to Stone Mountain Park–and oh my…what a day. First–she is a nut. She has NO understanding of personal space. She sat on a bench with another family even though there was less than a foot of space left on it. She just liked their shady spot. Oh my–she cracks me up! LOVED hearing her squeal like a child during Yogi Bear’s 4D movie. She loved the train–but I got the stink eye when I told her she couldn’t hang out of the train (hey–the conductor said it first…not momma on this one).

Had to take a picture of her sitting on a bench with another family…she just makes me laugh! I told her to please come sit but she gave me her classic “No!” in a Russian accent. The family was precious and said she was fine to sit with them. Can you find T in this picture??

On the train…

At the barn…

*Can’t believe she is the first of my littles to talk this height scared momma into getting on a Sky-lift. She had NO idea the sacrifice I was making for her. Rich still can’t believe it. Then she wanted to dance on TOP of the mountain…so I got off the Sky-lift with her and let her dance. It was actually an amazing moment in the midst of God’s creation.

Had to take this pic to send to Rich. In our 9 years of marriage he hasn’t seen me do heights. This girl is THAT special.

Dancing on the mountain

*Will FOREVER laugh at the memory of the light show. YES–we got there at noon and we were still there well after dark…with a 2 year old in tow. We are loving this girl big;). She started feeling the music during the light show–and when Brittany Spears music came on the girl STOOD UP and broke it DOWN. Oh my glory. I was laughing SO HARD. Isaac was saying, “Momma, Tetyana is crazy!” and an old lady beside me told me she thought it was beautiful…and it was–seeing this precious girl–this girl who is aging out and going on her own…yet today she dances…knowing this she dances because she is trusting Him with her future.

Okay–and JUST to make you really see into our crazy–here are a few videos from the last few days…

At Stone Mountain getting ready to ride the duck…

On the mountain top…(she makes Isaac laugh!)

Catching her with some Brittany Spears action tonight…

If you know where we have been–you know how far He has brought us. When families adopt, they go through the SAME things we have in this transition–only they know after 5 weeks…the one they are working with for all these milestones will still be in their home at night. To me–that has always made so much sense as adoption was the only thing I thought about when it came to caring for orphans. But really–His calling to care for orphans is so much more than that. We are not always called to adopt. Adoption will not be the path for every orphan. But some of these kids will NO LONGER FEEL like orphans–as families are called to love them in big, real ways. And in a sense–they will be orphans no more as they find they belong…not only to families who love them…but also to the Father in heaven.

I had the most breathtaking experience in worship today. I sat beside Masha Hills who was adopted from Russia by my dear friend Susan Hillis and her husband when she was 14. Now Masha–is grown, married and a mother herself. She is tender, strong, loving and walking toward the Lord. She has a heart for orphans and to see healing in their lives. Here I stood–worshipping beside her. Here I also sat with Tetyana. Turning 16 tomorrow. Aging out. Never adopted. Returning bravely to her country in 4 days.

Worship began…and I thought about these 2 girls. Their pasts so similar. Their futures–different…yet both with such hope. And I had the privilege this morning of worshipping with both of them. I thought about Tetyana–running out of church, having tantrum just 5 weeks ago…and here she stood tall beside Masha–with a different future–and both of them singing Matt Redman’s “Never Once”. The lyrics were too much for me to sing…I had to move my mouth because if I were to allow a song out I knew I’d break into tears instead.

As soon as Princess T heard “Never Once” beginning to play she turned to me and said, “On my MP3!!!” and with excitement she sang.

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

She looked over at me in the middle of the song. And it didn’t take singing to cry–one hand on her back and one hand wiping away tears…I couldn’t believe what the Lord has done. Some people may look in and think adoption is the only way–or WHY the healing if she is going back…but the Lord has a purpose and adoption and America really aren’t the end. For our Tetyana–this is part of the story. It’s not even her beginning. Because–He has always been with her. And we are just a small, sweet part of her story. My heart wants her to be mine. I’m grieving her going back. *I* want to protect her. *I* want to be able to tell her she has to eat her broccoli before she can eat rice crispy treats. She’s never had a momma to do this–why can’t I? But this sweet girl will step into adulthood when she returns. She has officially aged out…with the ONLY HOPE for a family bringing her home being one that IS ALREADY LOCKED IN TO USCIS WITH APPROVAL TO ADOPT FROM UKRAINE and APPROVED UP TO AGE 16 who just happened to be adopting a child this age from Ukraine that fell through..(If you know someone…send ’em our way!) But at the same time–I know His plans for her may be to do great things in Ukraine.

Still I watch her, and I know although she’s 16–she’s really more like a 13 year old and she needs more guidance and direction–and trying to parent her a world away is going to be a challenge that will require much diligence. I’m praying for her to find favor with a Christian family in the Ukraine who will work with us in caring for her. I’m praying for doors to open–and for the lines of communication to be clear when needed. Once again we open our hands–trusting Him to do what He wants and trusting that He has a plan for this. He has started something big in all of our hearts–and on Thursday…mine will break into a million pieces as I learn to trust Him bigger.

She came to us broken. Hurt. Mad at the world. Yet she is leaving–passionate, precious, in love with Jesus and full of joy. And–all of these things were already in her…she needed a whole lot of love for layers to begin to peel away. Some may look in and say you have to adopt–that this is the only way to have layers go. But WE ARE NOT THE ONES WHO PEEL THE LAYERS. HE IS. Last week when she picked out the puzzle of a little girl in Jesus’s arms she told me it was “baby Tetyana and Jesus”. She reminded me that HE has always had her. HE has always cared for her. Had we not hosted her–HE would still care for her. But He loved US so much–He wanted us to know her, love her and get the privilege of seeing what HE is doing in her life. He loved her through us for a time–and for the next 4 days I will continue to love her socks off. I know I’ll forever wish I could tuck her in every night. I’ll wish I could rewind time and live this again. I’ll play online looking for tickets to the Ukraine.

She has been such a real life example to me of love, bravery, the power of God. Her life is paved with scars and struggles–yet she sings of His faithfulness. I got to witness this. And to think I was a bit nervous to host a 16 year old. Now I wish she was mine…but in many ways I think she is–and I don’t need papers or even to be able to tuck her in at night to prove it. God is able to protect her–and He is able to bring us back together. He is faithful.

Just a taste of His goodness…

After this we had a talk on google translation that started tears. I’m gonna miss our sweet talks. Here is a little excerpt from tonight’s…

you are much braver than me. i don’t want you to be afraid about going back. we are going to take care of you. you have a family now. you came here with no mom and dad–and you leave with a mom and dad, sister and brothers and grandparents. I will cry every day after you go. I will do whatever we need to in order to make sure you are never hungry and you always have a safe place to live. You have nothing to worry about. The Lord has favor on you. You must only trust Him and follow Him and He is going to provide for you. And you must be braver than me and not cry. Stop crying…because you are making me cry more. You should go dance to Brittany Spears now–we will cry later–but now we must enjoy the 4 days we have left together. Okay?”

He has done great things. Please pray she will always sing. Please pray He will watch over and protect her. Please pray He will surround her with many to love her with us…here and in the Ukraine. Please pray God will raise up other families to host, foster and even adopt teenagers just like her.

Here’s to the next 3.5 days together! She departs early afternoon on Thursday…

Trusting Him…with lots of tears,

Andrea

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contessa - July 30, 2012 - 2:42 am

sniff, sniff, sniff…lot’s of prayers coming your way Andrea. LOVE the videos!

tammy - July 30, 2012 - 7:00 am

Your blog is an incredible look into your life. I have followed all summer, wiping away tears on almost every post. I’m so glad you are telling this story, allowing us to see lives changed by the love of God. I will be praying for your family this week.

Jenn Cooper - July 30, 2012 - 10:09 am

Andrea…I’ve been following along on T’s journey the past few weeks. I haven’t been able to comment on every post…but I am reading and praying. I want to tell you ALL how VERY PROUD I am of you. I’m proud of you as a friend. For the constant dying of self and following what you know in your heart is right. I’m proud of your beautiful kids and husband who are making big sacrifices in giving up your attention. I’m proud of T for overcoming her fears and boundaries and allowing you to see the gift of who she is. But I’m most PROUD OF GOD for working a GOOD WORK in the lives of the Youngs. Love and HUGS to you all!

Corinne - July 30, 2012 - 1:51 pm

My tears are dropping…amazing story! Praying for Princess T’s future to bright and stay connected with you and family.

Nicole - July 31, 2012 - 12:19 pm

Well thanks for making me cry like a baby Andrea! My kids now officially think I’m nuts (it was only unofficial before). It has been amazing to experience your host experience with you – I know you have touched so many other people by sharing your experience. I will keep T in my prayers for sure. Gosh I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now – prayers for your mama’s heart as well! God Bless you all!

bobi bobbitt - July 31, 2012 - 9:08 pm

WOW! I have just fallen in love with sweet Tetyana! I cannot imagine what you must be feeling, Andrea! I will be praying for y’all on Thursday and in the days to come! What a blessing to have been given this opportunity to make a difference in the life of this precious girl!

Stephanie - August 2, 2012 - 8:23 am

Thinking and praying for you today. I will continue to hold your princess in prayer! Blessings to you!

Alison - August 3, 2012 - 2:08 pm

I am CRYING!!! Praying for this sweet precious girl! I just know that the Lord is holding her in His arms right now, and He will make a WAY for her!!!!

PML - March 2, 2014 - 11:22 pm

Reading this ex post facto knowing that we were there in Ukraine on July 30 2012 with the people HE was calling to be her parents having dinner at Fridays. Feeling their discouragement and now looking at another desperate situation reminded that Gods got this and how, how, how, can we forget so quickly when He answers so big big big. Thanks Andrea for writing all this out when you had to be exhausted and didn’t know what was gonna happen and it looked so , so bleak.