The Young Family Farm »

This post–one of those posts–you hope it’s just a journal documenting my days…and nobody actually comes here to read what I write.

Today was one of those days.

Good, but hard days.

I would take a “do-over” if I could, but I think I actually learn more in the “good, but hard”–so I’ll gulp and learn…and put one foot in front of the other.

Often I end my days feeling like I’m “too much”. “Too much” mostly because I think “too much”. Can you relate? But today–I end feeling the “not enough” instead. But I know this is a lie we tell ourselves. Especially as moms in the trenches…in the middle of the days we will one day greatly miss. It’s okay because HE is enough. He redeems. He makes all things new. And when I mess up…forget…or need to change perspective–He fills in all the gaps healing all the hiccups where I’ve gone wrong.

This week. We made history in the journey of Wiphan. www.wiphan.org This ministry that we’ve been a part of for almost 6 years now. This ministry that has changed us. Based in Ndola, Zambia. 450+ orphans. 160+ widows. And about $80,000 under budget what we need for committed yearly income. Yet I know He is El Roi. He will provide. I think about how many of us will spend $1,000 on Christmas gifts–yet if we had just 80 families give $1,000 each year to Wiphan–it would fill the gap for these orphans and widows to continue in their education and safe place to go. He is El Roi. He will provide.

History was made as Cuthbert, one of Wiphan Zambia’s teachers, stepped off the plane this week here in Atlanta. It is his first trip to the USA. It is our first Zambian staff who has successfully gotten a VISA to exit the country to visit us. Here he will be training for a week and a half for the sake of our widows ministry. Training and learning–so he can return and train them. It’s been hard to get staff out as the country fears they will not return–but because Cuthbert is married with a young son–he was able to leave convincing them he has good reason to return.

Last night–we sat with Cuthbert over dinner. I’m surprised he met us at our choice of restaurants as the day earlier he stopped by the house to visit with other Wiphan folks and I served them my SPICY Southern cheese straws. (You know you secretly want the recipe I love to use😉 As we were eating–we asking Cuthbert what his first impression was of America. He took a deep breath…

Silence.

Come on–you can tell us!

And then he said, “When I return to Zambia–I will tell them this from my trip. Here in American–even your cars have houses.”

I thought of the kids.

The widows.

How their homes are half–some times a quarter of the size as most of our garages.

Perspective.

[If you are looking for a place to give–or you want to be a part of Wiphan–my sweet sister has headed up the Grateful Project for our current needs…you can watch this if you are interested in being a part–giving in someone’s name this season…]

The Grateful Project- Short from April Carlock on Vimeo.

And then there’s me. My struggle with what we feel called to do in creating community and my flesh of want.

For weeks, we’ve been getting on zillow, realtor.com–searching high and low for a farm. We have this vision to create community and really walk together…serving one another and serving others together. As you search–you see what more $$$ will get you. It’s an investment. You will use it for His glory. You will bless people with it. Yada, Yada, Yada. The same goes for our other material things we need. Right? All easily justified. God wants us to have good things. Right? We will use it to bless others? Right? We deserve it–well, because we earned it…and God helps those that help themselves?? Hmmmm. I do believe God is good. I do believe He wants us to have good things. But I do not believe He wants us to have good things at the expense of others. And I lose perspective.

I’m not speaking to you. Assuming no one reads this. But to me. This is ME. What I struggle with.

I do think it’s okay for us to have a farm. Just as it’s okay for you to have ______, ______, and _______. BUT–there is a difference between what we need and want. There is a difference between what is fruitful and what is excess. And we have to be so careful of placing ourselves in a position where we are indebted more to our lifestyle and what we want in goodness rather than true sacrificial service…truly living for the gospel…truly living as—–take a deep breath…as Jesus would have.

Broken.

Broken and tempted and selfish…that’s me.

And I know I’m not enough. But He is.

And I need to stay close to Him.

Because, for me, living in our culture and living for Christ is more difficult than my packing my bags to go love and serve and live with nothing in a 3rd world country for Him. At least–I know that’s true for me.

And the trying to live for Him–is a constant contrast with the dailies in this world.

Like tonight.

I’m married to a man who often has to travel. He left on Sunday and returned on Wednesday this week. On Sunday night, I was sitting in my living room as water started to drip out of a light socket. I thought it was a busted pipe. So–I called a plumber. For your entertainment in this post–TOTALLY shady y’all. He was trying to be rico, suave–but we all know there is only one Rico Suave;). He left unsure of what the problem was and said he’d return on Monday morning to start cutting dry-wall. Oh gracious. Rico Suave is gonna kill me I thought. What to do. What to do?! I called dear friends–and they discovered it was actually a leak in the dryer vent. (Long story for another day–but yes…if your dryer vent is clogged it can leak.) Of course the vent folks can’t come until next week–soooooo…I found myself with a week’s worth of laundry at the coin laundry tonight…

A week’s worth of laundry for 2 adults, 4 kids + 1 toddler filled this many baskets =

I got to the coin laundry and walked past a nice older guy sitting outside in the FREEEEEEEEEZZZZZING cold.

1 basket.

2 baskets.

3, 4, 5 baskets.

6 freaking baskets. Of clothes!

Oh my.

At each of my 6 trips–he laughed at me.

Hauling MOUNDS of clothes and sheets and towels past him.

I got $20 in change and started my rounds in commercial washers and went to make small talk with the South Korean old man that owns the laundry. (You guys KNOW I can’t just sit there. Make the most of every opportunity:).

I asked about the nice man outside–my other new friend…in the FREEEEEEZZZZZZZING cold.

And in broken English–this is what I got. He’s no place to go. He likes to smoke. He always sits there. Homeless.

I watched my 6 loads of laundry spin and spin and spin and spin.

And I wrestled.

Because I’m not okay with carrying 6 loads of laundry past a homeless guy.

And I’m not okay with doing nothing.

And I was nervous.

Unsure.

And I know we are called to take risks.

So I took a deep breath–walked down the strip mall. At 9pm in Atlanta in a strip mall that has a coin laundry–trust me–I was also praying for the Lord’s protection;). [If you are reading–and you know Rico–don’t tell him this part.]

I found a Latino bakery. The only thing that might have something warm. Thankfully they did. I grabbed a hot decaf…went back…delivered the decaf to my new cold friend–and spent the washing machine cycle of 6 loads of excess talking to this kind soul. Knowing that some times hiccups like broken dryers happen in our lives for a greater purpose. To connect with others…to show them they have great purpose…and to open our hands to whatever the Lord might have for us.

Because I can assure you the blessing and growth and change…is truly for us when we follow Him in the uncomfortable.

And I know the Lord worked. I could feel it. Not just in the talk. Not just in the depth. But even in the South Korean coin laundry owner as he watched through the window.

And as I talked the Lord worked. And not how you might be thinking. But I remembered. How today I messed up. And it was almost hard to concentrate in the conversation with my new friend out there in the freezing cold. As I thought of how I said something unkind today to one of my beloved children. For the first time in my mommyhood–I was done…like really done. Tired. Needing a break. Really done. Done to the point that I said something unkind. And I sat there. Broken. Realizing that today I was not only broken but I also broke something…someone. And I looked over at this most beautiful grown man–and realized that many years ago he was also someone’s beloved child. I took a deep breath. And sighed. Brokenness got him here. Brokenness got me here. And we all need a Savior.

Oh how I need him. I’m not enough. I mess up. And today–I want a do-over. But I have to trust that in my mess-ups that He is enough. In the mess-ups in my new friend’s life–He is enough. The Lord can use even our mess-ups for His good–for His glory–to change them–to change me. And if we just trust Him–He can work wonders.

And in all these different moments in the last 24 hours–I realize how much we need Him. In our dailies. Hourlies. Minute by minute.

And even with Him in my life–I will mess up.

But I do not have to carry that–because He is able to mend.

He is enough to cover it all up with His glory, goodness and healing.

And some times as tired mommies we just need to rest. To breath. To be still.

We need to come to Him–and to bring our babies with us. And to not carry the guilt…or the not enoughs…

But to just ask Him to be with us–to guide us–to fill us–and to bless us with perspective as we make decisions and journey through these days.

And to celebrate and worship Him for the mountains He has carried us through…to leave us rejoicing on the other side–knowing it was only Him…only Him…that could have seen us through.

[Thankful for a sweet lunch with these two loves today!]

Many years ago;)–back in my photography days I met her mom. Not in person. But through a photography forum. We connected as we both had a heart for Africa. They were adopting from Ethiopia. We had a ministry in Zambia. We watched them grow. Later we grew through adoption as well. Then we watched them go. To Tanzania to be missionaries. Lola…their most precious princess–their little girl who was like my Laney–same age and so full of twirls and girly and life–got sick–so they came home to get to the bottom of it. Never did they imagine they were here to stay…to get their baby girl well.

Lola was diagnosed with cancer shortly after. And we were all shocked. Watching them move home from the mission field. Deep breaths. Here–this most precious family had gone to serve–and we scratched our heads…and took deep breaths and hit our knees…for their Lola.

That was well over 2 years ago.

Her fight began. She started chemotherapy to fight leukemia. A disease that took my littles grandpa much too early. A disease that we don’t like. A disease want to join others in fighting against in any way we can for the sake of little Lola’s all over the world.

This picture (above) was from a sweet time celebrating 2 years of completing chemotherapy. With her sweet, sweet family who I just adore to pieces…mmet the DeYoung crew:

There was a sweet, sweet time of celebration. And then this summer–the sweet princess relapsed. And those of us who have watched the journey–yet again hit our knees. This family–is beyond precious. They had been caring for host children who were orphans–and wanted to adopt…one who also had fought leukemia…because no one should have to fight alone…but when the relapse happen–their worlds again turned upside down. I’ve yet to meet Lindsey. Or Lola. But I am so on team Lola. Praying for her. Praying for a miracle. And cheering this family on…praying they would feel the Lord’s hand and His presence–and asking for a miraculous complete and forever healing of sweet Lola.

Over two years of fighting–and this sweet girl is still smiling. Not always of course–because treatment days are hard. But her fight continues. And as a friend–as a mom–I just want to be on Lola’s team. Praying for her. Cheering her on. Fighting with her. Will you join me??

Rachel Walsher at Proclaim promotions helped me design some rockin’ t-shirts. The proceeds of these t-shirts will go to help medical costs or little things Lola might need…blessings to remind her that she is not alone–and there is a BIG TEAM of moms and kids all over the U.S. who are also on her team–cheering her on, believing in her, praying for her and wanting to remind her that she is LOVED…BIG.

Will you join Team Lola and pray for her when your kids wear this? When you wear this tee–will you pray for her–pray for strength and for all those kids in throughout the world like Lola fighting childhood cancer??

We are going to have a PRE-SALE for TWO WEEKS! November 12th we will submit the total order–and the tees–will be printed and then shipped to us and out to you! THIS IS A PRE-SALE–to help us not have to buy tees and not sale them:) If you want to buy more than one–(kids and adults)–y’all I’m a stay-at-home, homeschool crazy momma–so if Paypal charges you twice for shipping–I’ll send the extra $4 back your way!! I’m too crazy to figure it all out:)

To show your Team Lola love–you have TWO t-shirt options!

Option 1: The regular pink tee – $20 for kids and $25 for adult tee (Available in Sizes: Kids 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12 and Adult S, M, L, 2XL)

FOR KIDS SIZES PURCHASE WITH THIS BUTTON:

Sizes

Kids Size 2 Kids Size 4 Kids Size 6 Kids Size 8 Kids Size 10 Kids Size 12

FOR ADULT SIZES PURCHASE WITH THIS BUTTON:

Sizes

Small Med Large XL 2XL

Option 2: The baseball tee – $25 for Kids and Adult Sizes (Available in Sizes: Kids 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12 and Adult XS, S, M, L, XL)

FOR THE KIDS BASEBALL TEE ORDER WITH THIS BUTTON:

Sizes

Kids Size 2 Kids Size 4 Kids Size 6 Kids Size 8 Kids Size 10 Kids Size 12

FOR THE ADULTS BASEBALL TEE ORDER WITH THIS BUTTON:

Sizes

Extra Small Small Medium Large XL 2XL

It only takes ONE minute to order a TEE and join Team Lola–and what a blessing it would be bless this family and join them in helping them care for the little and big things as Lola fights cancer. Will you join me??

Please feel free to share–and help us bless this sweet family! Excited to watch others join us! And super excited to bless Lola. We love you Lola girl and we are cheering you on!

If you would like to bless the DeYoung family directly–please contact me through my contact page.

Can’t wait to get my Baseball Tee on!

xoxo!

Andrea

Community.

His body.

Oh–how we need it.

I almost forgot.

Richard and I have stepped into community. Sweet community. Missional community. At first as observers. It’s real. And now–stepping in further. Right now, we are one of the few married couples in this sweet community house church meeting on Monday nights. Mostly singles–75 or so–deeply committed to Jesus. Deeply committed to walking toward the cross…together.

What happened?

When did we…forget?

Why would we settled for less? Not fight for this?

I remember in college. Oh–the worship. The community. The life. It was sweet. For awhile after it left–I thought…but that was college. Those were the glory days. I remember that sweet community again–on a mission trip…while living in East Asia month after month desperate to walk together with the body of Christ…and some times times visiting for a short hour with close friends when it had been too long…oh if this could just be real life I thought. But. This is life now.

We get married. We have children. We find our church. We plug ourselves in a ministry. We worship. In a “community” some times so large–so large–that no one would really miss you if you were gone. They might wonder–but it’s just too busy…the thought would be fleeting…and life would move on–but here…you stay for “community”. The worship is good. The teaching is good. They even have quarterly gatherings where you mingle–ask the same questions. How is work? Do you work? Oh–I asked that last time…forgive me. How are the kids? Do they like school? We should really get together some time. So good talking to you–I’m going to go grab coffee…and my husband…and quietly leave. Sit around the table. Another speaker. Pass around the questions. Talk amongst yourselves. Ask and answer the questions. Share. Times up. Go home. This is community—right?

Oh–how we have forgotten.

But community. Missional–deep community…where they know your heart…where you know theirs…where truth and encouragement are spoken into your soul because they know you…because they know Him. Where tears are shed as you hear–because the truth not only sets you free…but this is the truth spoken from the body of Christ–Christ in other people. And THIS. This is community. Deep community. This is where life lives deeply. Authenticity fills the air–and the lies and whispers disappear. Truth breaths refreshing exhales that took much too long to come again. And I am remembering.

Who He is.

Who I am.

Because of a real encounter with the body of Christ–active and living and alive. And without deep community…without the body of Christ…we can too easily forget.

So every other Monday night–we hire a sitter. We race down 30 minutes to the city. And we creep in this house church in the back. We breath. I wipe away my tears as I listen. Because I had no idea what I was missing. And Richard and I have a calling in our hearts to dive in. Live life in this community–and then figure out how to bring this to ours.

Tonight I was reminded. Reminded who I am in Christ. Do you remember? Like me–were you tired? Does it feel like all the “Christian” organizations around you…you have gone to hoping to find community–only to walk away…feeling lonely–like an alien…and wondering…where will I ever fit? That fish out of water complex. But oh–listen to this. You. Are. Not. A fish out of water. You are simply…simply…just maybe–out of community…missional–life-giving community. And you need it. I thought I was a fish and I’d have to just be one until I saw Jesus face to face. But in deep, real, living community–I see that is not the case at all. And I am seeing now more clearly that too much and too many are trying…but we are just missing it…missing Him.

And y’all. This is the good stuff. The real stuff. The stuff that makes you be a risk-taker. A peacemaker. Joyful. Free. Alive in Him.

He is RIGHT HERE.

RIGHT HERE.

Waiting. Oh how He wants us to see Him! To walk with Him! To know Him.

To get on our knees with other believers and share our hearts. To pray together. Really pray together. Share our hearts. Open our hearts. Open our lives. To worship together. To love our families together. Take risks together. TOGETHER.

We have protected our lives, our families, our children, our homes, our schedules…and we missed TOGETHER.

How the body of Christ needs to be woven so tightly–so intimately–so beautifully in every fold!

Our hearts needs this community–this deep community–what is truly the body of Christ. Hand and foot and arm and head…eyes and ears and knees and toes…every part needing the other. And really doing life–TOGETHER.

Because if not together–then the leg is missing…the arms maybe too–and then…maybe then–yes–just maybe you are that fish.

The beauty of this deep together–is how it draws me to Christ. Us to Christ. To the cross. Together.

“Follow me,” He said. And they did. Not one…not two…but many—TOGETHER.

How authentically the body of Christ draws us to His presence.

And then it all makes sense. Why He said it was the church He came for.

Why He said it was worth dying for.

This.

This is life.

So sweet.

Precious.

And something we will live for.

He is faithful…and I am thankful. How I want to just live through His power…in His presence…and breath this life into the lives of my children and those around me. Thank you Jesus for the living, active and beautiful body of Christ and your presence in it! May we all find this in our lives and be drawn deeper into your daily presence in our lives!!

He loves you!

Andrea