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Wanna know the ONE other thing that melts my heart besides the heart of orphan?
The heart of the widow.
I do believe you will read in scripture—that these two melt the heart of our God too.
My friend, Shannon, is in Zambia right now loving on both orphans and widows. This post from Sunday MELTS me…you can read it here. If you think your heart has been broken for orphans—I challenge you to spend some time with widows. WOW. Go over to my friend Shannon’s blog—and just stare at them. Soak in their beauty. There is nothing MORE beautiful than seeing these widows…who are broken, poor, hungry, husbandless, and some times even dying…WORSHIP.
Who am *I* going to chose to live for?
If it’s for the LORD—then it’s serving people like these…read another of Shannon’s post from this past week here at what life is REALLY like in Ndola, Zambia.
My—*I* have SO much to learn from them…and I want my hands to be open how we might also bless them.
It’s crazy how we can get so DISTRACTED by silly things here in America. Material things. Social activities. Family or friend quarrels. And all the while–they are hungry…yet they worship. Oh Lord Jesus–help us not get distracted with the things of this world but to love the things you love–and to get caught up in where You already are…what You are ALREADY doing. Help us stay FOCUSED on You and Your plan for our lives. Draw us closer to You O LORD…and change us…how I want to be changed!
I have been wondering what some of the ways are that we can reach out to widows and follow the Gospel here in the U.S. It’s not as talked about but I know there are hands on ways that we can show love. Would love to hear from you if you have a list of these.
One question I get most from friends and family is, “SO…how is Frank adjusting?” They of course ask about the others two–but it’s Frank whose birth order has changed the most. The older two became “big” sister and brother again…but Frank became “big brother” while also giving up his role as baby. SO…how is he adjusting REALLY? Is there a way to prepare younger ones for a new sibling–specifically a new adoptive sibling that obviously doesn’t nap as much as a newborn (aka–taking up more of his mommy time?) I’ll be honest; each child is STILL adjusting and just as they would need to adjust with the birth of a newborn…I think there is a bit more adjustment with a new one who is awake more and with one that no one else but mommy and daddy holds…at first. I’ll also add that every house is different especially if you have older, older kids who “get it” a bit more—and this will be an on-going process for us in the time ahead. SO…for NOW what does our house REALLY look like?
Ok–so just for your pure entertainment I’ll share a really FUNNY moment at our house. I’ll also tell you that this is NOT the new normal and our children really aren’t doing this ALL the time. But I will say that Frankie-baby DOES want to do things like this AT LEAST once a day…some times several times a day…
(Special note: YOU may not think this clip is funny—but one thing you will learn when you invite transition of any kind into your family–is that you HAVE to laugh at the little things…and some days…at everything. And this regression–I know is normal and I’ll venture out to even say healthy just to make myself feel good;)…and I just laugh at it and remind them afterwards that they are BIG kids and can be such big helpers:)
SO…do we encourage this? NO, we don’t. BUT we also don’t make Isaac’s toys (aka Frank’s old toys) off limits. And if our little girl who likes to play baby and pretend wants to regress a bit for 10 minutes during the day–I laugh, but I let her. I also give her lots of opportunities throughout the day to help by being a big girl. I’ve tried the same tactic with Frank–but that’s a “no go”. He isn’t ready to be the big brother—YET…so we are letting him adjust at his own pace. So, if it means being a wild man in the Jump-a-Roo here and there—we absolutely let him. Parker and Laney both asked to try it and we also let them but they said it was no fun for them—so thankfully they figured that out for themselves;)
I ran a search a little while ago on siblings and helping them adjust. I have to confess–I was cracking up at their suggestions of reading books to them about adoption and a new baby…suggestions to remind them how important they are and how their support and help will be needed. Whoever wrote those articles probably didn’t have my 4 kids 5 and under in mind. I can read them books and give them a pep talk–but really our actions and being consistent with our past routine and affection is what is helping most right now.
The hardest part of now for us–is we are in the cocoon stage of being at home and bonding as a family. Each of our children REALLY need EXTRA love and care EACH day—and our new one needs even more extra love and care. I can honestly say I am at a stage in my life right now where I am desperate for God’s strength, power and outpouring love each day–minute by minute. There is not a down moment in my day–and I blog only when children are napping (Frank and Isaac are napping right now–and my bestfriend picked up Laney and Parker for a playdate!) The house is often a mess–when normally it’s clean. And I’m “choosing my battles” in a new way right now by choosing not to worry about laundry and crumbs…and just meet the needs of my little ones. Honestly, there is very little I think you can really do to PREPARE preschoolers for a new one—but there are a few things that I think have really helped. These may seem obvious–but trust me…as your house gets crazier these get HARDER and it’s helpful to remind myself of these daily and make conscience efforts to focus on these…
1. We have kept all the little ones on their same schedule. Frank is still napping at the same times each day while we work to get Isaac on a healthy nap schedule…his sweet brain needs that boost! Parker and Laney STILL have their rest times each afternoon. They don’t “have” to nap–but they do need to find something quite to do. (I have discovered the HUGE importance of boundaries with the older ones right now and how keeping these boundaries consistent helps them feel more secure, loved and even important to us.) It also means staying consistent with discipline and continueing to breath and remain calm dispite the rise in the craziness:)
2. Explain changes in the schedule to the ones who can understand (even if it’s easier to just say “I’ll be RIGHT back.”). There WILL be MANY times that something requires your immediate attention–and the other kiddos can interpret this as “more important”. If you have other children at home with you all day, you will have to explain why the new one needs little things like naps and why you need to go put him down without everyone else’s help as a baby who needs to rest is NOT going to want to go down with a crew of kids helping put him down. This may all seem obvious—but I can’t assume that my little ones understand–and it has REALLY helped a lot to walk them through the LITTLE things. This means–A LOT of talking to explain what you need to do, what the new one needs and what your older ones need to do while they wait. For example–when Isaac Temesgen is over-stimulated and needs me to go to his nursery just sit OR when it is his nap time, I explain to the older kids how Isaac Temesgen isn’t used to having so much noise and action going on (trust me…we have noise and action here!) and how he needs some down time OR that it’s time for his nap. I give them something to do before exiting, and then I tell them I’m going to go sit with him and help him get some rest. I affirm that I will be right back. (The BIGGEST challenge for me here is baby Frank (20 month old) because he doesn’t always like the activity and wants to come with mommy instead. If he is quite, he can come too–but most of the time he is NOT and I have to resort to FOOD for him…you do what you have to do…and some times it’s Vanilla Wafers;). I really didn’t anticipate how HARD this part would be—and I’ve handled what I feel like is a lot–but this has proved to be the hardest and most stressful and it does help to explain and help them understand the little things.
3. We make a strong effort to have one on one time with each child DAILY. Now, this doesn’t mean TAKING them some where–it means us making an effort to be alone with each child daily to spend time playing with them and always affirming our love for them. This is a HUGE transition–and it requires more work than adding a newborn to the family–and it is important to us to let each of our children know how much we love them and how valued they are in our family. We are having to get creative–some times it means a date to the neighborhood pool while one parent stays home with the others…and some times it is just a simple book in their room and asking each child to look in your eyes while you tell them how much I love him/her.
There are of course many other things we do and you can do and have done–but for us this is helping us and our children transition. This added effort each day also means we are completely exhausted at the end of each day. I keep wondering if “completely exhausted” is our new normal;). BUT Richard and I continue to laugh through it and remind ourselves how much stinkin’ fun holidays will be as the kids get older with a big family. I mean, how much fun is a basketball tourny or ultimate freesbie without a bunch of kids right?! I was laughing this morning watching Frank play air hockey by himself after the older two left with my friend and Isaac Temesgen was already napping. YES, it was calm–but it was quite…and not as much fun:)
AND…it’s okay to be flexible and NOT by the books either. If you are my friend on Facebook, you know we broke out of the cocoon yesterday to head to the park! I knew our church park would be empty–and we just all needed fresh air (ME ESPECIALLY) and it was absolutely HOT but so good for the soul. AND it was Isaac Temesgen’s VERY FIRST SWING time!!! Here are a few pictures from us cheating the cocoon;)… Frank did NOT want to have a picture made because I asked them for a pic BEFORE playing!!! See…Isaac has never seen a playground so he didn’t know what he was missing for a pic! But FRANK…he was like LET ME GO!!!
Then it was time for us to put little Isaac Temesgen in the swing! It about swallowed him whole…but he held on and LOVED every minute!
My FIRST swing ride at 11 months…
Just think about all the little ones MUCH older than Isaac Temesgen who haven’t gotten to swing and go to the park YET. What JOY it is to grow your family through adoption and see how God makes your heart BURST with joy and love for another…AND how it is HIM who gives you the desire, strength and love for each and every moment as you follow Him!
P.S. I need to post pics of HAPPY Frankie baby THIS morning. RIGHT after he got a shiner from Parker spinning him around. YET…he was all smiles when I gave him cereal WITH milk in it. Food is definitely the way to that boy’s heart! I’ll come back and post a happy pic of Frank as soon as it downloads…I need to publish this post though so I can finish my MUCH needed coffee before any babies wake up! Isaac Temesgen tossed and turned all night–and although HE was sleeping…this mommy was looking over him and checking on him every 2 seconds. AND THEN P-man came in and asked if I could lay down with him at THREE in the morning. Not normal…I guess he just needed some extra TLC. SO…off to have another cup of Ethiopian coffee and wait for one of my babies to wake:)
Changes affect everyone…sounds like you are doing great though. We always ask our kids if they want to play with or have baby milk etc.- It is hilarious to see them want it for a few minutes and then change their mind. It is all a part of adjusting. Never read any books on that, but pretty sure we have seen most everything 🙂 he he he
Love the swing pic 🙂
This post was so encouraging to me! We are about to have 4 kiddos 6 and under, and it is great to see what it will be like and things to think through, pray through, and trust God for now as we wait to bring our baby home! Thank you for being honest!
Great suggestions! We just got approved by AGCI and are newly “paper pregnant” so I’m soaking in all the advice I can. My Ellie will be almost two when our babe comes home, so I’m sure it will be an adjustment for her.
Sally -July 16, 2010 - 3:20 pm
I found your blog a little while ago and love reading as you share your heart and all that God is doing in you and your family. I was wondering about the “cocoon” time that you are referring to. I understand that you are talking about bonding time as a family and intentionally staying home to let it happen. We are in the process of adopting our daughter from India. I was just wondering how long you are going to cocoon and how you made this decision. Did you get this idea from a book or other families? Just wondering… Thank you, Sally
Frank and Isaac are absolutely the funniest duo in your photos. 🙂 Frank is full of personality, and Isaac’s eyes just make me melt. Your older two are precious too, but Frank just makes me laugh. What a sweet family.
Adorable video:) So true about not really being able to prepare little ones for a sibling. Our Piper is a little over 2 and the only thing she really understands about us bringing home her baby sister is that she will probably be scared of fireworks;0). She always says, “Joleigh will be scared of fireworks, she’ll cry”. It’s so sweet.
Constantly praying for you! and thanks for your comments on my blog.
Rory -July 16, 2010 - 11:15 pm
Great post! And I love the video–nothing wrong with kids having fun!:) We’re expecting our fourth in November, and anytime we’ve added a new little one, my “bigger” girls (6,3,1) all want to try out the baby equipment.:) I think you’re a wonderful mom and doing great with this whole cocooning stage! I go a little stir crazy when forced to stay at home all day, and I admire your determination to stick with it–while still bending the rules a bit, when needed! Love to your family!
I definitely need to bookmark this one to remind me of the tips for keeping all our monkeys happy when we bring our new one home. Love the swing pictures…he melts me! And of course I love the monkey tee too!:)
[FIRST…I have to say THANK YOU sweet friends for REJOICING with us at the AMAZING MIRACULOUS news of Isaac Temesgen’s good doc report! I feel like we need to break out of the cocoon and GO CELEBRATE! Totally think a trip to an Ethiopian restaurant may be in our future!!! Just wanted to tell you all how THANKFUL I am for your prayers as I know MANY of you have been prayer warriors through this…and I am so humbled and THANKFUL. We serve a God who does perfrom miracles still today…and I am still amazed!]
Now…just wanted to show you some of the craziness we are growing at our house…
Laney planted flowers this season in “her” flower bed. They were ALL in those little bags you buy for a buck…and she planted them randomly—and I’m afraid we never watered them. BUT…they GREW! (See that bag she is holding—they are gummy butterflies! Daddy has been out of town and I took them all out to the candy shop! Lest you think I have it together…I don’t—and while Rich was out of town I used bribery through gummy butterflies (for Laney), a long gummy snake (for Parker) and little gummy frogs (for Frank)…and Isaac was a happy camper with his bottle:) Rich is back now (YAY!)…but you do what you gotta do to maintain peace:)
AND to maintain peace—we also called Aunt Reid who came to babysit Parker, Laney and Frank while I took ITY to the doctor yesterday. She ROCKS. She took the older two to get haircuts (we’ve slacked in that department with all our craziness)…and boy–Parker man returned with some craziness all right!
The FUNNIEST part of all was I caught him making “mean” faces in the bathroom mirror…so I asked him if he’s pretty please make a few for me—which he was happy to:)
Ok…ok…I have to share one more:)
Aren’t those good mean faces?! He begged me to stay up late last night until daddy got home so he could show him his cool hair. I was weak and tired…and Parker, Laney and I cuddled up on the couch and had a movie night until he got home. He totally thought the hair was cool;)
And lastly—growth is also taking form in TUMMY TIME with ITY:). A word from Isaac…
“Hey guys…check this out…I can do tummy time!
“Ok…I don’t always like it…but LOOK how high I can push up now! This is major progress!”
And a happy one to go on… Isn’t he SCRUMPTIOUS?!
[And for those of you who love photography and curious about camera settings–the last 3 tummy shots were taken with Canon 5D, 24-70 2.8 lens, natural light with settings: 1/160 shutter speed and 2.8 f.stop…the crazy hair pics are taken w/ same camera, same lens, natural light and 1/250 shutter speed (adjusted b/c the change in natural light) and 2.8 f.stop]
yes andrea, he is scrumptious! I remember as a little girl bringing home sunflower packet or starter from school and planting it with my mom and having her take a picture of me by it when it grew really tall so seeing that pic of your daughter brought back good memories for me! :0) love your boys colorful hair! :0) yay for tummy time isaac! :0)
Such a beutiful family!!! Look how quickly Isaac is catching up. It won’t be long and he will be crawling! Thanks for the camera settings… great pictures.
Oh Andrea – I love the hair pictures! My boys would love it:). So excited for you guys – Praise God for His work in Isaac! Continuing to pray for you guys
Love that Ann Reid! 🙂 I was reading this with Asa laying next to me this morning and he saw Laney and said, “That Quinny?” I said, “No, thats Laney” then he saw a picture or Parker and said, “That Asa!!” I said, “No, thats Parker.” He replied (as if I was joking) “Nooooo, that ASA!” 🙂
Now what about ISO? lol
On a side note, I LOVE reading your blog (as do a million other readers, obviously). It just fills my heart with so much joy. I sent yesterday’s on to my husband, it touched me that much. You rock!
People always ask our secret to having 8 children go shopping, or spend all day hiking, or at a theme park….I have to admit that a bag of gummy bears, twizzlers, or tootsie rolls can work wonders!!!
🙂 Love the flowers!! And the whole tummy time. Yeah, well Joanna is NOT a fan at all…hmmmm…..keep trying, but we will get there. Maybe if I show her the great pics of Isaac she will catch on??
What beautiful pictures. How is Franky doing lately???
Lisa -July 16, 2010 - 9:43 am
I’ve just watched your beautiful dvd about Isaac’s homecoming- tears are still running. Thanks. It is great to watch how God is being glorified with the joy he is giving your family. What an amazing miracle at the Dr’s! He is just beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!
Finally…everyone is in bed. I wasn’t going to blog…Rich has been out of town and JUST pulled in the driveway…he along with the 4 children are all sleeping soundly–BUT this is one day that has to be in our “blog to book” for Isaac to read one day…so it MUST be blogged:) And–before my sleep-deprived brain forgets…I must write it as I don’t want to forget a THING from today’s miracle!
Just over 3 months ago, we received Isaac’s referral. I was OVER-JOYED to hear our case-workers voice that day (if you missed that entry, you can read it here). I didn’t really share much about his referral at the time–other than he was severly malnourished and we felt like God was saying–HE IS YOUR SON…TRUST ME! We got the call on a runway in an airplane waiting to take off–so we didn’t get to see his pictures before praying about and deciding to move forward. I had prayed that the Lord would make our first referral phone call our son and give us the peace and strength to trust Him. As I listening on that airplane with my head practically ducked under the seat so I could actually hear every detail…my heart leapt and sank at the same time…
“Extremely malnourished…possibly born prematurely…7 pounds at 6 months…he is now 8 months and 10 pounds…isn’t able to drink formula so UNICEF is providing a special formula…8 months and not holding his head yet…not turning…” the list seemed to go on…BUT really—my heart heard very little of it…and the PEACE that surpasses ALL understanding over-rided. My heart LEPT. This was OUR SON!
I’ll NEVER, EVER forget the tears streaming down my face as my husband told me, “Who cares if he doesn’t walk! Who cares if he doesn’t lift his head! If this is the son God set apart for us—let’s do this!” MELT. The plane landed and I quickly dialed AGCI to shout, “We ACCEPT! We want to move forward!” Only…I got the answering machine saying they had closed for the day. That night I had a dream and saw that sweet face–AND he was CRAWLING. I am not a weird dream person—but I am now a weird dream person;)…because I KNEW that was from the Lord. He loves us so much–that although I TRIED to call and say yes right away—He wanted to assure me that HE WAS IN THIS before I did. It was SUCH a joy to call Kiersten, our caseworker at AGCI, and shout that next morning, “HE IS OURS!!! We know it! We want to move forward!” I will never forget her giggling on the other end and the TEARS on that phone call as we declared this was the Lord!
I will admit–I was scared. I flew to Ethiopia wondering. On Gotcha day…he cried–ALL. DAY. LONG. I was sure it was neurological reasons—he made no eye contact and I kept asking my mom and sister, “Something is off isn’t it?” BUT…I was so content and overjoyed–as I had my son. I just wanted them to break it to me easy and tell the truth…because I could take it. WELL…today–I got some truth and I am REJOICING! I know we may have setbacks…I know this is just the beginning BUT today we got such a great report and I am so thankful.
Because of the malnourishment, we had lots of tests run last week. Today–we got the results. I had Aunt Reid come over to stay with the kids while I took Isaac Temesgen–and to see our doctor walk in and SHAKE HIS HEAD and say, “This doesn’t make sense.” Then…he proceded to tell me how ALL his levels were perfect…his immune system BETTER than normal…his protein levels showed NO sign of malnourishment…his bone density—perfect…everything–to him–didn’t make sense. And again—MY HEART LEPT! Jesus said, “TRUST ME!!!” did He?! I wanted to tell our doctor that we sought the Great Physician before seeking his expertise and to us—it made PERFECT sense! He threw our nutrition plan out the door (we had discussed what direction we’d go in…Ensures, vitamins…extras of this and more of that). He said whatever we were doing was more than enough–because he had GAINED 2 pounds since we were there just 7 days ago! The only thing he could classify our son with today was “excessive weight gain”. HA! Did you hear that?! He was in awe of his cognitive and neurological gains…this 11 month old baby in my arms who has only heard the English language for 2 weeks did all “his tricks” on demand for Dr.Penny: he waved BYE-BYE…kissed mommy (my favorite!)…and he gave the doc a high five (actually several of them…because as soon as you see my son start smiling WHO can RESIST not holding your hand out there longer and letting him hit it a few more times!? Seriously?! He told me this wasn’t normal! I told him we fully expected some “not normal” results:)…but this wasn’t quite what I had in mind!
WE PRAISE HIM! PRAISE HIM! PRAISE HIM. FOR HE IS WORTHY TO BE PRAISED! Does He still perform miracles today?! ABSOLUTELY!!!
We will still be starting physical therapy, and we are praying and hoping he will crawl before he walks…and hoping he will crawl for awhile to stimulate more of that brain…so I’m perfectly happy if he just crawls this year and waits to walk at 2. Our doctor says crawling is very important for his mind and brain stimulation—so we’ll be doing LOTS of tummy time and putting patterns in front of him to help him focus and build brain connections. His upper body and strength is jello–so we have a ways to go…but I’m certain we will get there soon! So thankful for a good report…and I’m just AMAZED at what the doctor said today!!! Yes, it really doesn’t make sense does it?! I’m so thankful how the Lord has healed our son!!! He goes to sleep each night laying beside me and twisting my hair with his tiny fingers and rubbing my face. So thankful for the connection we are building and so thankful for all God is doing in his life and in our hearts in the process!!! I would have NEVER learned the things I’m learning had we not followed Him in the miracle of adoption…I totally get why people adopt again and again and again. It’s God’s heartbeat…caring for orphans and building families…and to share some of God’s heart…it’s just amazing!
He indeed is good and the great Physician! Amazing report and love how He will receive all the glory for the miracles that will continue to unfold before you and those of us watching.
praise the Lord! I am sitting here in years, happy tears, after reading another amazing thing our Savior, our awesome God has done! PRAISE GOD! I love what your husband said… “Who cares if he doesn’t walk! Who cares if he doesn’t lift his head! If this is the son God set apart for us—let’s do this!”
Glory to be our GOD! What wonderful news and thank you so much for listening and following the Lord’s plan. You could of so easily said no to his referral, but you didn’t. I also totally get how people adopt again and again. What a perfect way to expand a family!
I love seeing where God is at work in others lives and I can see He is definitely working here. My wife and I have been trying to adopt for five years and for one reason or another we’ve had to postpone our plans. Friday we brought home from the hospital our baby, Samantha Grace. As I said to my wife God works in very mysterious ways. I praise God for your little one and my little one.
This is so incredible. I just read this to my husband through a trembling voice. This is another beautiful story about how the Lord blesses obedience. I am praying that God will continue to work miracles in Isaac’s life.
Heather -July 14, 2010 - 9:28 am
PRAISE THE LORD! I’m so overjoyed & thankful to our Savior for all He’s doing in baby Isaac’s life! Thank you so much for sharing this! I will continue to pray for his strength & for him to crawl soon! I am so blessed to follow your journey! Thank you for the details you are sharing with us!
What wonderful, wonderful news!! God will never stop amazing us if we let him. Crawling is so very important so you are on the right track with your plan.
Shelley -July 14, 2010 - 11:24 am
Praise the Lord for all that he does. I know that this will rest her heart a little in know God takes care of your little man. We will continue to pray that he crawls.
What a wonderful miracle from God! we too had health issues we were concerned with but ended up he’s so healthy! Praying for him to plow you away with being able to walk before you know it! You will be amazed how much strength they gain from being in a loving family! So happy for you!
Isn’t that the best part of all of this! Feeling closer to God with each step we take toward adoption is so wonderful and reassuring. Adoption is the heartbeat of the Lord – so well said! Congratulations on your great report!
It is AMAZING isn’t it. The REBOUND. The GRACE. He is amazing. You’ll all do great! Keep going! (My guy gained 7 pounds bt the day we met and the 2.5 weeks later at first docs appt.) I’m so glad Isaacs blood is all normal. THAT IS GREAT!!
Rejoicing and praising with you! Honestly, I’m not really surprised… this first time I saw that boy’s picture I thought he looked perfectly perfect to me! Thank you for the encouragement and affirmation about Hannah’s Hope, it’s very encouraging to those of us still waiting!
Blessings,
Betsy
OH WOW!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! What a beautiful TESTIMONY for HIM! What a wonderful witness to us all!!!! We should not be surprised- God is His Father! You obeyed, listened, and followed. Isaac is the result of much prayer, and yet I am blown away. How much more beautiful could it be?
Oh heavenly Father we give you praise for this beautiful miracle that you have given life to- and given it abundantly!!!
Such wonderful news!!! And ahhhhh Dr. Penny. I just love him. He has cared for all three of my babies which are not babies now. I am so happy to hear how well he is doing. Here’s hoping for a crawler very soon!!! And hey Ella didn’t crawl till she was 11 months so it’s not that off. 🙂
Here is my ode to the rockin’ dad at our house today…(thought we needed to mix it up a bit and make you laugh today since folks keep telling me my posts are making them cry each day;)…don’t forget to turn the music off up top before watching this coolio-rap session…
Now…if you wanna cry after laughing…go read yesterday’s post and watch another baby boy come home! THEN…laugh again as you watch my cutie play peek-a-boo! Have a great Tuesday!
Completely ~ takes your breath away and makes answers so simple. Beautiful people with amazing spirit. Learning from them is vital.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Thanks so much for reminding me of this today! I loved your friends post…those pictures are well…no words!
I have been wondering what some of the ways are that we can reach out to widows and follow the Gospel here in the U.S. It’s not as talked about but I know there are hands on ways that we can show love. Would love to hear from you if you have a list of these.