A last minute get away…

I feel like we’ve been on an unexpected roller coaster this last week–and truly…I am amazed at the Lord’s PERFECT timing in our last minute get away. Really–it wasn’t last minute. Rico Suave asked about a month ago if we’d like to trek on up to West Virginia with him where he has to travel to regularly for business. It’s a LONG drive for him–and usually boring…so we made it totally un-boring;) for him and CAME ALONG!

And…the timing of it was PERFECT.

I didn’t think I’d blog about this–but sharing our journey…just makes it more beautiful…as I truly believe the Lord has a plan for us and will be glorified as His plans are PERFECT. Always.

Last week marked a pivotal and exciting day for us in our adoption journey to a precious princess who I have hoped for and dreamed of for many years. Last Wednesday was our LAST and FINAL home study visit–and we could finally take a breath! It was yet another sweet visit–yet there was something on my heart and on the back of my mind during it…

For the last couple of years I have had some small, almost unnoticeable symptoms. This summer–I noticed my vision getting blurry…so I went to the eye doctor. My eye doctor notice my red eye…which I told her is on and off ALL the time…which she gave me steroids for…which I told her wouldn’t help…which they didn’t…and she sent me back to the doctor to get bloodwork. (I’d passed all the “typical” adoption blood work stuff with flying colors–so I just assumed all was well:). She said it was typical of arthritis–and my joints had been sore (but’s what mom with four kids DOESN’T have sore joints?!). There were a few other weird things…like my hands and feet tingling (I thought maybe just African parasites maybe…NO joke–I really thought that and even tried putting vaseline on them and wrapping them in saran wrap like a learned from a video on YouTube to get rid of them! But–to no avail–I don’t have African parasites.).

SO–I went in for more blood work…told her all about my tingling hands and feet…even told her I was sure they were probably African parasites because that’s the crazy life we live. She didn’t think it was as funny as I did…I guess I’m glad to have a serious doctor but I’m so far from serious in most all situations. When she asked if I was allergic to any drugs–I chimed in that 4 years ago I took malaria meds and had NO reaction but when I took them in June–YOU guys might remember what happened (if not–you can be thoroughly entertained here with the story). Our doc thinks there is a link to that reaction…so I’m thankful for the puzzle pieces to come together.

God’s timing is always perfect–and although I would have LOVED to know the results BEFORE our last home study…I got the results ONLINE–1 hour after our home study was over…and the results weren’t what I was going for. Since last week, I’ve gone in for more tests and I have another next Monday to the rheumatolgist–and hopefully we’ll know exactly what is going on (I’m praying for miraculously NOTHING)…but for now–we have put our adoption on hold as it’s unknown and knowing a few of the things the results line up with so far would actually disqualify us from adopting from China for now. God can always heal and even completely take away things–but we know His plans are best…and we wait on and trust in them.

I will share more when we know exactly what this momma has before her–and while I’m still prayerful it’s nothing–I also know that it’s going to be okay no matter what. We have already seen the Lord’s hand all over our journey–and we know He has a purpose in it. We know that He called us to grow again…and we also know that it just might not be in the time we hoped or thought it would be. At first, I was really, really confused–and even upset. But the Lord has given Richard and I such sweet time together this week–and I know He never let’s go…He has us, our children, our future child, our journey–ALL in the palm of His hand.

There is a precious little girl in China who we have been praying to have a forever family. The precious sister in Christ who is so dear to me that is now going to be this little girls mom sent me the sweetest email…reminding me of His blessings…and how they often come in the most unexpected ways. (Thank you T). I can’t tell you how many times this has come on the MINUTE I get in my car the last few days…(you can hear it here)

So…now we just wait. And I could wait until everything was beautifully ironed out and when it all already made sense to me to share…but I really think HE gets more glory from the sharing even when you are broken and unsure of how things are going to end. Yet–in every ending there is a beginning. Where one door closes, His faithfulness opens another…and over and over and over…He has been faithful–and on the other side of that door…because His faithfulness repeats itself I know it will be even more beautiful than we ever imagined.

So about a month ago–Richard asked us to travel with him on this business trip. I can’t imagine being home by myself this week…and I’m just AMAZED at how the Lord takes care of me. We have had such an amazing time bonding as a family. The Lord has shown His majesty to us through the mountains and rolling hills…He has reminded me of His tenderness through the hearts of my children…and He has reminded me our hands and hearts are full–by every waitress that has served us, (“My! Y’all have your hands full don’t you?” It’s really been music to my ears and heart…and even ministered to me realizing that maybe our hands and hearts are as full as He wants them to be right now.)

Please just pray that His will is done in our lives…that if there is something wrong with this momma that His healing hand will wash over me…that we will rest in His plans…that He will give us direction and understanding…and ultimately that He will receive the glory.

I wish I could wait and share my heart when it was all clear–but I am really, really, really bad at NOT being real. You guys were with us when we started our home study in March–and you celebrated with us. For over 8 months I have carried this precious one in my heart…so if the Lord completely closes the door in the week ahead it won’t be easy–but He will have a more amazing plan. If He chooses to make my last tests flukes and make all well…well, then He will receive all the glory–and bringing home that baby girl will be even more beautiful! Thank you for being on this journey with us…during the mountains and the valleys. And thank you for praying.

Here are a few pictures from our business trip tag-a-long fun…

We went to a national forest today while Rico Suave went to St.Mary’s for a meeting. Frankie baby fell asleep on the way to the forest. SO–he only got part of a nap. Loo-bear thought she could ease him into HAPPY…

BUT–no such luck;)

Frank didn’t want to participate in anything like pictures–so he plopped in my lap for the next hour. Momma is about the only thing that cures Frank’s tired! That boy requires his nap!

My only little princess…OH she melts me!

And a little bit later–Frankie baby warmed back up too…

My little girl lives in a “rainbow world” where you just have to hear her talk…her squeaky little voice…and how she just sees the silver lining in EVERY situation. She has dreamed and prayed for a sister for years–but we have had some heart to hearts these last few days…and she insists that if she is the only princess in our pack…she is perfectly happy. I am so thankful for her heart and LOVE of life! This picture captures her personality and zest for life (I am SOOOO blessed to be her momma!)…

I was just standing there…taking it ALL in. AND THEN…some one got WAY too close to the river. AND…

FELL IN. Momma threw down her camera…scooped him out. He cried. And then about 30 seconds later he started laughing and said he went swimmin’. So much for the picturesque moment, huh?! (Can you tell he is SOAKED from head to toe??!!) Okay, I normally never like to post pictures of my kids crying–but that picture says perfectly how momma has felt this last week. But I feel the Lord doing a miracle as we wait on and trust in Him. It feels a little more like this…

Gathering leaves…Picking up the pieces. Looking around at all the beautiful things He has placed in our lives. Gathering my little loves in my arms and seeing how amazingly blessed we already are. Trusting that His plan is more beautiful than we could hope for ourselves. And can’t wait for the day…when I toss those leaves up and celebrate His perfect, pleasing and good will being completed in our lives.