Well, here we are. Tonight is the night—that Richard and I could legally become Isaac’s parents. My heart longs for him to finally be ours, BUT I must rest and wait in the Lord.
Psalm 27:14 “Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.”
I feel like my heart is on the way to the hospital…driving there to deliver. Will the physician say, “Yes, it’s time!” Or…will He say, “He’s just not ready yet–I am going to send you home…but you will be back.”??? Yes, we are a part of this story. But the story is not just “ours”. And I can’t afford to be selfish in it. I want the Lord’s will to be done. Because what IF it could be grander? Then…not mine—but thy will be done!
Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.”
Richard and I followed this journey to Isaac because we felt the Lord calling us to grow our family. Through our work with Wiphan, our eyes were open to the need in Africa and all over the world…but it truly and honestly was not the need that drew us…but the longing for what the Lord placed on our hearts. Yet just as I longed for Frank, we have longed for another baby…our Issac. As much as I wanted them to induce me for Frank’s delivery…I selfishly wanted him here and I wanted to be comfortable…YET I truly didn’t want him here in my arms before he was ready and before the Lord wanted his first day to begin. Again—selfishly I want Isaac home and I want to no longer be uncomfortable being worlds apart. Of course I am confident in the care he could receive here, but because I have already seen the great work the Lord has done–I am MORE confident in the Lord and His PERFECT CARE! More than anything—I want His will to be done…I want what is BEST for Isaac…and what will bring the Lord the most glory.
Psalm 33:20 “Our souls wait for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart shall rejoice in Him, because we have trusted in His holy name.”
As much as I pray tonight to become Isaac’s mommy, I also pray for his birth mom. I pray that we will pass WHEN it will work out for me to actually meet her. Coming into this journey my heart was broken for the widow. I feel like the Lord has placed something on my heart—and that if I don’t meet her when I go to get Isaac that I will need to go back one day to meet her. And of course…once Isaac is home—it will be hard to leave him…so I pray that we will pass court and be given travel dates when I can meet her.
Because…what if.
What if God wanted to do more than just grow our family?
What if God wanted even more than I could imagine possible?
What if just was Wiphan began in Zambia through a widow whose heart we had fallen in love with…what if something like Wiphan was born in Ethiopia through a widow’s heart…that we have fallen in love with?
What if there is more to the story than just “ours”…and therefore, we can’t afford to be selfish in our prayer. THY WILL BE DONE.
Yes, I want to be Isaac’s mommy. Yes, I want him home. BUT MY GOD IS ABLE. And I trust Him.
When we begin to pray for the bigger picture–we no longer know HOW to pray…and our prayer becomes THY WILL BE DONE.
Yes, our expenses are paid. Yes, the Lord has provided. Yes, the Lord has over and over and over again shown us this is His will and HE has paved a way…and provided EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
But today and tonight I will lift my hands to the Creator.
THY WILL BE DONE.
Do more, oh Father, than we could ever imagine possible. Thy will be done! He goes before us—and boy, His plan PERFECT! I long to be Isaac’s mommy…but even more than being Parker, Laney, Frank and Isaac’s mommy…I long for His will to be done. Oh, will you be brave and couragous and lift your hands and ask the same thing for your journey in this life? What if there was even more that the Lord wanted to do if you were willing to raise your hands…forget about all you have to lose…all you have to gain…and just say THY WILL BE DONE.
My God, tonight, will not sleep or slumber. He goes before us. He goes before Isaac’s birth mom on her journey RIGHT NOW. And He who is healing my son…(tears)…is also healing me. Be encouraged by this.
Off to chase my little ones…and find my rest in the Lord. When we hear our news…you will be the first to know;-).
Leave a Reply