Today was one of those days.
Seriously. One of those.
We all slept in…accidentally–kind of…when Rico Suave is out of town–it seems to happen more often:). I jumped up at 8am–jumped in the shower…and I remembered Rich telling me on the phone the night before that the pest control guy would be here between 8am and 9:30. But SERIOUSLY…when are those guys EVER on time!?! I’d about had it with fruit flies–tried every remedy with honey, apple cider vinegar and soap–and finally…Rich had called in the big dawgs. But surely they wouldn’t show up at 8am.
Not so much.
Parker who has been coached to never open the doors to strangers recognized the pest guy who has been our faithful sprayer for 8 years now (I have a serious issue with bugs–so although we don’t see them…I have them come monthly–maybe that’s why we never see them;)…and apparently he is not considered a stranger so he was welcomed on in. Scary…but nice. And you can rest assured we called them for the fruit flies cause mom was done with her traps (thanks to my Facebook friends for their rockin’ suggestions–but because we homeschool…apparently my fruit flies are smarter than your fruit flies…HAHAHA). And old faithful rang the doorbell at 8am…surprise, surprise…AND JUST as I had gotten my hair drenched in the shower. I would have ignored it–but the alarm was going off. Hmmmmm…this really isn’t the way to start your day is it???
I got dressed soaking wet–showed him where the enemy fruit flies were–and ran upstairs because on my way down I smelled something serious coming from the kids bathroom. Our youngest was now running around with no pants on–and we are potty training…so he wanted to make me proud…he took his pull-up off HIMSELF although it was quite full (of you know what)…tried to sit on the potty ANY WAY to make me think he’d gone in the potty–and smeared you know what all over the toilet. And it’s just 8am. The rest of my day kinda went like that–and it only seems to happen when Rico is out of town…and of course when you really need to be doing something like making copies of all your home study stuff so you can turn it in…YES–we need more kids;). Now many will look into our lives and call us crazy…or foolish…or maybe even having a “special calling”. I’ll take the crazy. I’ll take the foolish. But our calling is no different than any believers. We are just trying to follow Jesus. For us–growing again is following Him.
I’ve been thinking about something today because I had a really bad attitude throughout my day. I struggled with peace. I struggled with joy. I struggled with doing the right thing and saying the right thing in love when I was tired and completely on edge…most of my day. I remembered at about 3pm that the kids had Awanas tonight—and tonight was the Grand Prix Derby…and all I had was a 2x2x7 pine block and 4 wheels. Rich was out of town. And I had 4 little sets of eyes looking up at me…with the oldest saying, “Mom, I really want to have a car tonight to race.”
I got out the hand saw–and it didn’t work so well. SO…I got out a power saw–a big daddy–and praise the Lord (not saying this lightly!) that I didn’t cut a finger off. That messed up Laney’s 2x2x7—but my sweet kids said they’d share. I got out another saw–and did a pretty ratty job. 15 minutes before game time–I was spray painting it black…and withholding saying some words I was feeling in my heart. It wasn’t pretty. As I carved that car, I thought about the Carpenter I follow. I was honest with my kids and told them how badly I wanted to do this for them–but how I wasn’t that good at sawing…but we’d do the best we could–and we would probably not come in first–but we needed to keep the main thing the main thing…and we learned something and did it together.
Our car didn’t even finish. Nope. He stopped dead center on the track. If you are my friend on Facebook–you need to go to my wall right now and watch the moment for yourself.
I wanted to be frustrated over a silly car…to be frustrated that I often have to fly solo during the week…how in the WORLD would we do this beautifully with more? THIS is real life–and it’s also things like these that are whispered into our ears from the enemy to keep us from being disciples of Jesus.
When we are disciples of Jesus–we come to Him with our daily frustrations, and we dig in His word…and when we can’t dig because we are so frustrated…we BATHE in it…yes…do whatever you can whether it’s reading the psalms or just going to the internet and pulling up read aloud scripture and laying down to listen. The enemy’s mission is clear in our daily lives. It’s to steal, kill and destroy…scripture says that…so when you feel those tensions and frustrations rising–the enemy is at work…and we have 2 choices to blow as the enemy wants us to–OR to follow Him.
After I listened to scripture tonight–because I needed to bathe in it…I was reflecting on what it really means to FOLLOW JESUS…
There can be a vast difference in knowing who Jesus is, believing Jesus is who He says He is and being a follower of Jesus. I really want to live a life not only knowing who He is, believing He is who He says He is–but REALLY following Jesus. You can know who He is and not be a follower of Jesus. You can also believe Jesus is who He says He is and still not be His disciple. When Jesus told men to follow him–some would say, “Absolutely–but…hold up. I need to go tell my family what’s up–I’m all about it…I WANT to…BUT I need to do this first…” Jesus responded in a sense to this with “never mind.” He didn’t say, “Of course–go work it all out and follow me when you can or when it’s convenient or when everything makes sense and you feel ready.” He meant and He STILL MEANS for us to drop everything when we hear His voice…when we KNOW what He would want us to do…and to follow. “Apologize? But I want them to first…because they were in the wrong,” we say…”I am merited in my feelings–and I need to just say how I feel so HE/SHE understands,” we think…but this isn’t how Jesus or His disciples live. So how can we be His disciple and not immediately follow? I want to follow. Following Him will often look crazy, not make sense, not be convenient and will even look foolish. It will often be full of temptation, warfare and loneliness. Being His disciple in this century will not be any easier than that of His disciples in the Bible. We should expect all the same hardships–but we should also expect the future joy of dining as His table and living forever in His presence. It has very little to showing up on Sunday like many in our culture might believe–I’m not sure His disciples ever did that or if they’d be at my church on Sunday…but instead it has everything to do with living in His presence and daily following Him no matter the crazy or the cost. I want to follow Him—and following Him is never easy–whether you are a stay-at-home mom in a small town or a missionary in the Congo.
Today I messed up a lot. And I had to say I was sorry a lot. I need to die to myself more. As I really want to follow Him. Pray for me that I will follow…and as I sister in Christ–I’m praying for anyone who happens to read this…that He will also give you strength for those who also want to follow.
In His grace,
Andrea
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